Is it really "doomed"?
We constantly check up on each other
(mostly me: searching phone records, credit card receipts, popping up at his job to make sure he's there) - whatever it takes.
2006-08-13 15:45:55 · 31 answers · asked by Nuni 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't say it's doomed but without trust, what is the point?
2006-08-13 15:50:26 · answer #1 · answered by Antisocial 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say... time to call it quits. Instead of expending energy on being in love you are both spending time being distrustful. Obviously he has given you real or vague reason to feel this way. If he was confident and your relationship had a firm base...... he would say, look, I love you and this needs to stop and do whatever to reassure you of this. Pressure a guy this way no matter how much he cares? He will run. Knowing a guys mind as I am one this is what you do since things are so bad and it is doomed. If you want even a sliver of chance to fix it..... step away. He will either figure out that he needs to romance you a bit work a bit harder for your affection or he won't. Then you will know. You have to stop the he said/she said hurtful cycle and see what happens. If he really cares for you, you will shake something loose and bring out the best in him. If not, as I said you will have your answer and find a guy who just simply cares for how you feel.
2006-08-14 00:55:10 · answer #2 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's not doomed now, it will be sooner or later. Seriously, how long can you keep this constant surveillance on him up? It will get tiresome after a while. As if that's not bad enough, he's also checking up on you. I know I wouldn't want to be in this type of relationship. Not only will it be a complete waste of my time constantly checking up on my mate, it takes away from time I could actually be spending on more productive pursuits in life.
2006-08-13 23:02:06 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been on the other side where someone has checked up on me constantly, including but not limited to video taped, and I didn't like it besides I never did anything that would make someone have a reason to do so. He did it cause of what happened in his past relationship and let me tell you it really ruined my relationship with him.
We have kids and I have left him twice now.
you really need to think how you would feel if he was doing what you are doing to him behind his back, and how you would feel.
Goood luck
2006-08-14 00:18:41 · answer #4 · answered by Not a Daddys Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to be an easy road for you or for him are you guys lacking insecurities with yourself ? I guess he has given you a reason to do so but this will only drive him away ..My ex yes EX used to listen to my phone calls say I was cheating on him with someone at work check the mileage on the car could not go to my friend because they were a bad influence on me Girl so much it drove me insane ...If you have to do all that it is not worth it no trust no peace of mind if he want to cheat he will regardless you can't stop that you have to trust and he in you if you guys want a future together!!
2006-08-13 22:55:40 · answer #5 · answered by classy chic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him, why do you want to be with him?
And if you keep up with the "checking up on him" stuff (unless he's given you a reason to not trust him and you're working on rebuilding that trust), don't be surprised when he either dumps you for someone who's not as paranoid, or decides that as long as you're gonna treat him like he's cheating, he may as well get the benefits of cheating and will actually START doing it. Self-fulfilling prophesy.
2006-08-13 23:21:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not doomed yet. My boyfriend and I are like this, but it is because he has cheated on me. We both are always checking up on each other. I tried to get even with him, which was a mistake. But things will work out for you in the end. It did for us.He did it to me because he was guilty of cheating and thought that I was.
2006-08-13 23:01:12 · answer #7 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship is built on sinking sand and one day (hopefully soon) you will realize this and quit wasting precious time.
If not being able to trust people is part of your personality, then I would get counseling to find the source of your not being able to trust.
If you just dont trust him, then move on.
Without a good solid foundation of trust, love and respect for one another, your relationship will only bring you heatache and pain.
2006-08-13 23:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by lilmissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a reason to search and mistrust him? Figure out what it is confront it and ask your self why and then tell him. Maybe you should get counsling if the two of you find you have reasons for the mistrust.
With out trust there really is no relationship.
2006-08-13 22:56:30 · answer #9 · answered by vtlovie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its like the Elvis Presley song, "Suspicious Minds" If you don't have trust in a relationship, you may as well forget it. If neither of you trust each other, what's the point of staying together?
2006-08-13 23:06:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋