My dad just told me he was dissapointed in me help?

Question

So my dad went to church today. (he's very religious) and he came back and told me I was a big dissapointment because I didn't graduate from highschool with my class. (I got my GED 2 years after) Then he said that he was dissapointed because I didn't go on a religious mission as expected for 19 year old boys in my religion. I am now 22. I don't care to go to church I don't think it's for me. What do you think is going on?

Answer 1

dude, youre a 22 year old man. get a job, get your own place (even if youre sharing with someone else to split costs) and live your own life.!

Answer 2

Put everything in context. Your Dad cannot understand you. I know that must hurt very much, but at this point, there's nothing you can do about it except 1) falling completely under his spell and do as he says (even then the nagging is not guaranteed to disappear) or 2) try to avoid these themes with him and try to get along as best you can. Something else would be to demonstrate success in some enterprise which would make him aknowledge your efforts. But you shouldn't fall into a mechanism of trying to please him at any cost. That would only make you bitter because the likely outcome would be that he'd be in the position where he can taunt you and send you on quest after quest like Hercules and his 12 works. Finally, if you love your Dad, you should make sure that somewhere along the way (in a few years) you'll still be friends. Parents say hurting things sometimes and do not fully realize the consequences of their words. After all it's not that easy to be a Dad...

Answer 3

It sounds like he's ragging on you for not following the path he planned for you. You got your GED, so don't worry about that one. I think in the church area, you've either not found the right place for you, or haven't reached a point in your life where you've had the experiences that let you see its value. The question, though, is whether or not you're doing something with your life. Have you gotten some sort of job training? Are you in school? Are you working? Or are you just sitting at home wasting your life away? If it's the last, well, I hate to say it, but your dad is probably sick of supporting your lazy bum and you should find something to do with your life (it doesn't have to pay well, just find something you're interested in and pursue it). If you are working or pursuing some sort of education, don't worry. There's an age where we just shouldn't be living with our parents anymore, even though we frequently pass that point. It'll be better once you're on your own.

Answer 4

At 22 you should not be living at home unless you are going to college. The fact that your dad is disappointed, you could learn two things: 1) you should grow up and think for yourself. 2) He has good reason. Fix it.

You don't need to go on a mission unless you want to be part of that church community. If you want the group you have to do what the group says.

Get a good job and make your own way. You should be more concerned with listening to what your conscience says (wordlessly).

Answer 5

Are you Mormon? I'm sure you're Dad thinks he's doing what's best but telling your son that he's a dissapointment is cruel and wrong. Also don't give up on church but do give up on the Mormon church. Find a local nondenominational church and look up the differences between Christianity and Mormonism. Show your Dad the differences. Coming to Christ would change his heart and his attitude toward you. Also remember that God loved you so much that he died for you. Love your Dad but realize that in the end you only need Christ's approval on your life. And it might be best to tell him how you feel about him judging you unfairly and then separate yourself from him for a little while.

Answer 6

I suspect that some of the boys you would have graduated with returned and showed up at church today. Then your dad was dealing with old stuff he never said to you. If your 22 and living at home you should really try to get out. Then you wouldn't be a disappointment.

Answer 7

Ephesians chapter 6 verses 2-4, New Living Translation,Holy Bible
Children...Honor your father and mother. This is the first of the Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise:
If you honor your father and mother, you will live a long life, full of blessing.
And Now a word to you fathers. Don't make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord.

Answer 8

Your father is reflecting his disappointment to you, but it is probably because he feels that HE is failing to reach you with HIS beliefs!!! He is a Christian? If he was following the teaching of Christ, he would be praising you, and praying for you instead of belittling you. We can't MAKE another person do the things that WE want them to do. The more he acts in this manner the less you will want to be like your father. Jesus accepts us with all of our faults, and shows us the way to a better life. Some people just don't truly 'GET IT'.
My children have different beliefs than I do religiously. I know that the only way I will ever be able to reach them is by my example. I try to set a good example for them. It is not for me to judge them, and It is not your father who should be judging you either.
I am sure that God has you in his plan, and that your life will be exactly what it is supposed to be according to that plan. Not all of us are meant to be Christians, He uses all of us in different ways.
Your father wants you to inherit the Kingdom of God. He is just going about it the wrong way to get the results that he would like to see. I hope you will never give up your faith in God! Bless you always. Niki

Answer 9

i am so sorry he did that to you. that is not fair. you know what? i am a christian and so are my parents and they tell me the same kind of stuff all the time. sad right? i don't avoid church because of that i go more because there are people there who build me up and the pastor teaches stuff that helps me know i am somebody and He (GOD)loves me and thinks I am wonderful even if nobody else does.He promises me a bright future and you too. I am proud of you that you even got your GED some don't. Just so you know you were not born to be everything your parents wanted you to be you were born to be everything GOD wants you to be and he would never say the things your dad said, HE WILL HELP YOU BE YOUR BEST.I hope this helps....

Answer 10

More than likely he has been persuaded or influenced by someone. Perhaps if the situation is like this, you should move out, after all you are 22. I moved out when I was 16, not necessarily a good move, very premature. It is going to be apparant soon that his faith in going to church and such cannot coexist with your (possibly just believing in god and not going to church or non-) faith .

Answer 11

I say he had no cause to say he was disappointed in you. Parents' job should be to support their kids and help them grow up happy and healthy. If your dad is very religious, he is probably afraid for you. People (especially in the more conservative, fundamental religions) who are convinced their beliefs are the only valid ones, can be understandably afraid for the souls of those they care about.

I wouldn't want to try to give advice since I don't know your whole situation, but if I said something that hurt my kids, I would hope they would tell me about it so we could try to fix it...