Why get married if you want a Prenup? Why not just be long term boyfriend and girlfriend?

Question

I was just wondering about this recently and wonder what you all think.

One other thing I was wondering is; some people say that prenups aren't necessarily a sign of mistrust in the relationship. Some feel that it genuinely helps, and if the partner involved agrees with it, it means they really love their future husband or wife.

I think it's a sign of mistrust for this reason; with a prenup, if the couple feels that they may divorce in the future, then they don't trust that they will be fair with splitting the money, etc, with each other. Why marry someone that you feel may cut throat you after a divorce? That doesn't sound like trust. Shouldn't one marry someone they know would never do that to them because they really do love and care for them?

If not, shouldn't everyone just get long term girlfriend/boyfriends with preparations to trade spouses like trading cars after 10 or 15 years?

Thanks for all of your well thought out answers. In response, you've all generally stated that Prenup's are good and not a sign of mistrust. I think Prenup's or marrage isn't for everyone. I think it all depends on the individual and what they want in life. I think it takes a very strong bond for a couple to know they will never divorce or need a prenup. A bond with the same strength that some parents have for their children for life..the bond of knowing you'll always be family and will never harm one another in any way including finacially or physically, etc. Not all families have that bond, some do and they are lucky. Clearly many spouses don't have that bond, but some do, and it takes a lot to know you even have that bond to begin with. Some couples try to act like they have that bond when they clearly don't, and get divorced. It's probably the most difficult thing to obtain in life, which is why I think many people may find it unbelievable to achieve.

Just my thoughts.

Answer 1

I don't think prenups are a sign of distrust or an indication that a couple will get divorced in 10-15 years.

Prenups are a good idea if one person is coming to the relationship with a significantly greater amount of wealth than the other. Perhaps that family has a lot of 'old' money in their lineage and they want to protect it. Or, they feel that their spouse might be entitled to some of that money, but not all of it ... or not 50% (but it depends what state you live in).

One cannot predict what will happen within the course of a marriage or if people will change or grow apart. This is not distrust, its life. Sometimes people marry and then find out that they are not as compatible as they thought they were, for a myriad of different reasons.

It just makes sense to protect what you bring into the relationship if you feel that it is something worth protecting. Its kind of like marriage insurance. It does not signify that you don't love your soon-to-be spouse; it just means that you've both agreed to leave the relationship with what you brought into it ... should that day ever come.

Answer 2

For the exact same reason we have an umbrella ready even if it's a sunny day.
Love & relationships like the weather are unpredictable. Who knows what lies in our journey ahead?
Marriage in today's modern world has different ideas to that of our parents. Some people choose to stay as live-in life partners as you've mentioned, although it's not a lifestyle choice most couples agree upon.
If only life could be so easy and we could all be lovey dovey but that's not how it works. Maybe that's how it's suppose to be.

Answer 3

Prenups are more for legal issues. The reason of prenup is for the other spouse not get half or everything the spouse is worth. It will only give them certain items or percentage. I do not think it is a realationship issue if they both agree with it. If the person does not agree to the prenp then the other person will see that they are in for something then, other than just their presence and feelings. Please review the website link below:
http://www.legalzoom.com/law_library/pre-nuptials/introduction.html

Answer 4

My guess is you have never had anything of much value. You can not tell what is the plan when you meet a woman. Some of them are really only after what they can get from you. I could not tell and lost a lot of money. I will never marry again but if I was to there would be a contract. That stops that problem. She knows from the get go that she will not get any thing but a set amount if she dumps you after 5 years. Look at Johnny Carson. that B#### he married stayed with him for 5 years and had nothing when that got to gether and took him for 300 million dollars.

Nope never happen to me again.

Answer 5

not necessarily a sign of mistrust but a fact of life....statistics are not on our side
so if one partner is a multi millianaire and the other can't even pay thier phone bill, would you not agree that in 20 years time that the poorer partner should only be entitled to what they earned together as partners and he should be able to keep everything prior
happily there are not that many people that need one as it does bring up the trust factor about one of lifes most necessary evils....money

Answer 6

Sex. haha.

I think Prenups are an alright thing.

Trust me.

My parents were married 25 years before they figured out they didn't love each other anymore.

And I kinda think my dad got screwed over but I still blame him. Haha. Anyways.