any good jokes or anything?

Question

kept em' clean though.

Answer 1

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

Answer 2

SECRET DIARY OF A CAT
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding on the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed (again).

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.

But I can wait; it is only a matter of time....

Answer 3

so this lady went to the doctor to have some blood tests because she was experiancing a mix of symptoms. The doctor called her up later and was like "i'm sorry ma'am but you have cancer" the lady responded "oh that's horrible." The doctor then continued saying "well that's not all- you also have alzheimers. I'm sorry" The lady then relaxing a little said "Whew- at least i don't have cancer!"

hope this made you laugh. If you go to google and type in clean jokes or something like that they have a bunch there too. Oh here's one more-

Q: did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and leg in the accident?
A: Yeah- he's all right.

:)

Answer 4

A guy goes into an empty bar and sits down. He hears somebody say "Hey, you look great today." He looks around and theres no one else in the bar. He takes a sip of his beer and he hears "Your hair looks great today." Again, he looks around and no one else is there. He tells the bartender what has been happening and the bartender says, "It's the peanuts, they're complimentary."

Answer 5

There were two muffins in the oven, one on the right and one on the left. After a couple minutes the muffin on the lefts says "Sure is hot in here, huh?" and the muffin on the left freaks out and screams "AHHHH!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!"

the end

Answer 6

You know why Mexico never wins in the Olympics?......

Anyone who can run, jump or swim is already in America!