ex wife in nursing home and calls everyday to get out what do I do?

Question

I am 40 and she is 42 she is committed to there and calls everyday for me to get her out she is a non-compliant diabetic and has brain damage and mentally impared and does not accept or unable to accept she may be there for life however long it may be - it needs to stop I just wonder if anyone has faced this beast also we have both agreed to divorce so dont throw vows at me or death do us part horse@#$%- it wasnt diabetes that divorced us it was we grew apart and moved on but it was like something had to happen because she was getting worse she has been gone for 8 months and wont stop bothering me - please answer if you can

also I have the 2 boys here and she does the same to them she calls to talk to them but always ends up her crying at them to get her out they are in the middle 15 and 17

Answer 1

this is a very painful situtaion but if she is your boys mother they should see her if they want to.I am a nurse and I know this is not easy for you but I have seen this many times. Take care of you and if you tell them they will make sure she stops calling you, she is there responsibility now. Talk to the Director of Nurses if the floor nurses wont help you and it will be part of her care plan..Be your own advocate.. good luck to you..

Answer 2

Don't know all of the details but... you are not going to like my answer. A window into this is you saying death to us part horse whatever. She is in a home and you have only been apart for 8 months. Obviously this has been a long time in coming and agreeing to divorce, was going to happen anyway is a whole lot of horse@#$$%. To say she is "bothering" you says much as well. You said she was getting worse during the time you were together. Not to piss you off but you asked....... When was she able to really make decisions about divorce and growing apart when she was afraid and possibly losing everything as she has? Knowing as well you wouldn't be there? Her behavior made you mad? Think about it from the other end. It is time for you to buck up and take care of business. If she really can't survive at home and it is super detrimental to her she stays where she is and you discuss this with the people there. But if you are a man you understand and bring her home and deal with it. She loved you once (god knows why) and you have to follow through. At it's most basic level your kids will view you your actions regarding this for the rest of your life. God luck to you and I hope you get this because you will need it.

Answer 3

First of all, I can't condemn you for the divorce- I went in to marriage for life and it didn't work out.

Have you considered changing your phone number? If you have caller ID just don't answer the calls. You can also ask the managment at the home she is in to NOT allow her to call you.
Or when you answer her calles and she asks for you, just say, sorry he doesn't live here anymore. Hopefully one of this things will work.

I have a feeling you might have to change your phone number. Make sure you are unlisted. The change might cost you some money and also the trouble for letting your contacts know your new number, whatever it takes should be worth the peace of mind that it brings to you.

Answer 4

You know There are probably alot of answers to your
question and most of them you wouldn't like. Regardless of why you are divorcing, just think for one minute how you would feel if the situation was reversed and it were
you in that place. I think it's a sad situation, have you ever seen the movie "The Notebook"? As most women
probably feel after watching that movie, to have one man love them that much !!! Things happen in people's lives
everyday, people get sick and more than anything we would hope that someone will love us enough to handle
the rough times, it isn't always the case. If you feel that
she is Bothering you, then by all means change your number if you think it'll make YOU feel better, but she is
still the Mother of your kids, I feel very sorry for you because you seem to have very little compassion for her
at all.

Answer 5

If she is mentally impaired, does she even know that she's agreed to a divorce or what one is for that matter? Or are you already divorced and if so how long ago? You are her life line, she will continue contacting you because you are all she knows. If you don't want to take her calls then don't answer the phone. Perhaps her family could take over for you.

Answer 6

if you are already getting a divorce, change you number so she can't call you . . . if she is committed there for a reason, let her family deal with her . . . you can tell the staff of you new number in case of serious emergencies until your divorce is final . . .

Answer 7

Well, you are already divorced. Call the nursing home and let them know you don't want her calling you.

Change your number and don't give it to the nursing home.

Answer 8

its sad but you need to change your number. From time to time maybe you could send her a card,not an i love you card, but a someone cares card......its the nice thing to do, but if its the phone calls you want to stop then change your number.

Answer 9

Get a grip on your grief (maybe with a therapist) and you'll be able to tell her firmly, gently, and straight out you are not going to get her out. For one thing, you are not legally responsible for her anymore.

Answer 10

she's in a real needy position right now and you're the last person she related to so it's hard for her to let go. there is NO easy way to let someone go or no easy way to tell someone "JUST GO ALREADY"...wish you the best