Adoption....I just sent away a form to put my name on a registry, to find my birth mother is that, selfish?

Question

She won't be contacted unless she has already put her name on the registry. I know what she did was the right thing as she was 17 at the time I was born,and I was raised by a great family. I'm now 43, which would make her 60 and my adoptive mother thinks I owe it to her to at least try to find her and that now is the time to do it.

Answer 1

No way, that is not selfish at all. I'm actually pregnant and struggling to decide if i should place my baby, and reading your question and saying you know what she did was right is very reasurring. And on the otherside, I'm sure she would love to finally meet you.

Answer 2

Nope, not at all.
I found my birthmother some years back, and am so glad that I did.
We don't have an ongoing relationship, but that was my choice.
I have no regrets, it was a much needed closure for me.

However .. do it for yourself .... not for anyone else. And when you are ready, you may want to do more than just sign up at registry's.

Also, I know other adoptee's and birthmothers who have met and continue in a relationship. It's all about what works for you.

Answer 3

No I think your are not selfish for looking for your mother and i am glad that you understand why she put you up for adoptivtion.Its to known that you want to find her so you can tell her what you have been doing with your live and Iam sure she wants to hear from you and she proably wants you to forgive her because she thinks you are mad with her. Good luck in looking for your mother.

Answer 4

No you're not selfish I'm a Birthmom and I'm searching for my son also who was given up for adoption

Answer 5

Of course you're not selfish. It would help answer some questions you might have, that others just can't answer. I think it's a very good idea. Good luck with your search. : )