Can you still be undecided (or in denial) about whether you're gay or not in your thirties?

Question

Or by that time, should you know whether you're gay, straight or bi without a doubt?

Answer 1

would love to help with this one but im still in denial about being in my thirties

Answer 2

Absolutely. It's just like what people say about children in school "oh, they all pick it up at their own pace". Adults are no different. If you were a confused kid and confused adolescent and never figured it all out, chances are you'll be a confused adult.

Don't worry so much about labeling yourself. If you've spent so much time anguishing over what to call yourself and forgot that you should just do what feels right to you then you're holding yourself back. Forget trying to find a specific title and instead just focus on your feelings.

Ask yourself...

Am I having recurring sexual thoughts, fantasies and/or desires that focus on the same sex?

Do I feel intimately and physically connected with one or more members of the same sex?

Can I experience/Have I already experienced affection, caring, even love for the same sex?

Answer those questions truthfully and don't worry about what kind of label the answers will give you.

Answer 3

Sweetie, I am so with you there!! I didn't come into reality until I was 32 yrs old. I've been with my partner for 2 yrs now and it's the happiest I've been in my life. After a series of failed relationships and a horrible marriage....it all finally makes sense as to why I could never bond with a man. I could love and care for a man as one human to another but as far as being IN LOVE....never. Not until I met my parter. I can honestly and without a doubt say that I have finally met my soul mate.

Answer 4

I dont know what is wrong with sexuality but it seems more and more comes up in everyone's face related to gay sex.

The proportion of the population affected is so small yet there is so much being shoved in our faces, people who are straight or who are not in any sexual relationship.

I thought sexuality was supposed to be healthy but restricted to a lot more privacy.

This kind of promotion is not healthy. It is forcing others to tolerate something that is not healthy for them.

Why do people not appreciate straight people do not need so much being forced upon them?

Answer 5

Not at all, my ex is 50 and only now deciding to do something about his curiosity lol or not he's still undecided whether he wants to find out

Answer 6

you can still be undecided, usually they call it in denial. It depends on if you're ashamed of your own feelings and ready to accept them, I guess you can be ANY age and feel that way, me personally I call myself straight, although I have SOME tiny lesbian tendencies (I just find some girls hot, I don't want to kiss them or touch them, or them to touch me... so maybe I'm not lesbian at all???), none that I've ever acted on, only because I haven't WANTED to act on them, not because I was ashamed of it.

Answer 7

I've met people that did not come out until there 50's.

Give your self time and education. Go to a gay lesbian center, visit a gay book store, go to gay.com. Good luck.

Answer 8

Yes you can, i've been gay all my life and i just came out last year after years of denial. I came out on my 50th birthday.

Answer 9

there is no should/could/would here. if you are growing personally and spiritually, then you are continuing to discover yourself, the world and the universe of opportunities and adventures.

let go of the structures of constraint that society put upon us and be yourself. don't worry about the rules, just follow the laws...

listen, learn, let go and live
dream, believe, soar and achive
personal happiness and inner peace

Answer 10

I just started figuring it out in my 40s. From what I have seen and heard it is quite common. Especially for women. And especially for people raised in really Christian families etc where such things were a sin or in small towns where you weren't much exposed to such things.