Do you hide cash from your spouse?

Question

I keep an emergency fund of cash from my wife. I use it for my own small purchases, presents, and in case of emergencies. Is this normal? Are there others out there (male or female), who keep a small amount (say <$1000) of cash hidden away?

Answer 1

Yes, it's perfectly normal for married people to do that whether they are male or female.

Don't feel guilty.
It's a form of security.

Our parents used to refer to it as 'saving for a rainy day', although when you're doing it w/o your spouse's knowledge, it's more like saving ...
for YOUR rainy day..lol! ;-)

Answer 2

Regardless of how 'unromantic' it may sound, in every relationship there should be a contract specifying, what is 'my money', 'your' money and 'our' money. Particularly if both parties are working, each should specify the percentage of income to put into the 'household fund' for joint use. If one spouse isn't working outside the home, there should still be some agreement as to how much of the money goes for household expenses and how much is an 'allowance for the wife and how much for the husband. Any preexisting wealth such as from inheritance or previous work should be the sole property of the person who earned it or inherited it. Such an agreement signed and notarized would eliminate a lot of problems later which cost the taxpayers' money. It's ridiculous that couples fight over 'secret' funds. Of course one needs to protect oneself in any relationship. Even the most lovey dovey couple can turn into a pair of piranhas when the honeymoon is over. Look at the McCartneys. Yes, they're paying the lawyers for the unfolding drama but the taxpayers are footing the court costs. It would also spare the kids the sight of an ugly, nasty fight in which they are frequently pawns.

Answer 3

My husband and I keep separate bank accounts and then have a joint savings account which we both contribute to. We haven't run into any problems with this. We don't 'hide' money from one another, but I'm not constantly checking his bank balance and looking at his transaction sheet to see where/what he's spending on. He usually tells me if he's going to make a large purchase ($500+) just to tell me ... not because I ask or demand to know what he's buying.

He knows I have access to his account online, but he also knows that I'm not at the website 24/7. Why? So I can see he went out to lunch that day. Who cares?

I am the one who is in charge of paying all the bills and making sure we stay on track with our budget. My husband is military so he's away a lot and lets me write checks on his account and sign for him, etc. I always tell him before I do this but again, we've never run into an issue. We split everything 50/50 and contribute to the savings when we can.

I think we both enjoy the freedom of having separate checking accounts. We haven't found that this has hindered our ability to make ends meet or get the rent paid.

I think in the end it just comes down to financial trust of ones spouse.

Answer 4

Yes. My husband isn't great with money. He does do a great job of trying to get discounts and the best deals on somethings. I make sure the bills get paid on time, and I moniter our credit/debit cards. I scold him when he uses the card too much. He'll waste money on scratch tickets and other little things.

I have 4 bank accounts. He has access to 3. That's because I can't close them because I move a lot in the military and I opened a new account everywhere I went, but that's another story. We only use 1 account, but I use 2 accounts for a putting away a little money here and there. But one of my accounts he has no access to. There is over $2,000 in it. I'm saving up for a new jeep. He knows about it, and knows I put money away in the other accounts. He's ok with it. If I didn't do it, then those few times when we get suprise bills or other things we need to pay for, we have money to fall back on.

Don't feel bad. If it's your money, then you do what you want with it (within reason)

Answer 5

I do the same thing, except I hide funds in the checkbook. My wife cannot control her spending habits, therefore I must keep a reserve just in case of emergencies. Not a bad idea at all.

Answer 6

Yes. I keep a small amount out of each paycheck hidden from my fiance. It's purely for emergencies or to treat my family to an extra little outing or something.

Answer 7

Yes, I do and so does my husband. Not only is it perfectly normal, it's a good idea in case of emergency especially if your spouse is the type who spends and spends.

Answer 8

yes i do and personally i feel that everyone should have some kind of personal emergency fund. n dont think its necessary to inform yr other half about this account.. so i think its quite normal

Answer 9

No ! Trust is the most important thing in a marriage. If you don't have trust you aint got nothing !

Answer 10

this is my opinion. If your married and she knows nothing of the money. than yes it is wrong, in a marriage you are honest and share every decision. to your comment $1000.00 is not a small amount.