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I have been seeing a married man on and off for about 5 years. In between I myself got re-married but have since divorced because of him.He was calling me off the hook and my husband left me after one year so we resumed where we left off. Everytime I tell him I don't feel right about our relationship he starts with how he and "the monster" which he always calls her aren't really married like that that it is a dead relationship and he can't live without me ect. How should I end it without the guilt? Mind you he is 20 years older than me and married 3 times with a 12 year old child shouldn't he know how to let go?

2006-08-13 14:28:11 · 24 answers · asked by pennyluvr 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

24 answers

Are you kidding yourself here? He's a pro at this! He wants to have his side dish and eat it too. Just ask yourself this question: If he's in a dead marriage, why is he still married to "the monster"? The fact is, he's playing both you and his current wife. If you respect your dignity, you would just tell him straight up that you don't feel right about the whole thing and you don't want to continue this affair any longer. Don't worry about making him feel guilty. The fact that he's cheating on his wife with you and not feeling guilty about it tells me he's incapable of feeling it. I'm sure that he will just move on to the next best thing that comes along.

2006-08-13 14:45:40 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 2 0

Shouldn't you let go? what is it that keeps you coming back to him? He's a married man. Is it something he's doing? something you can't live without? What is it that keeps you in contact with this guy? you've been re-married and he's been in 3 marriages, and you say he's the reason you got divorced. What is it that makes you feel that he's not right? and if you truly feel that there's a good reason for not seeing him anymore than you should be able to find a way to keep you distance from him. He might not be able to let you go, but you can stand you ground and let him know that it is over. Don't in any way make him think that there's a chance for you two. Until you are able to let go of this guy you won't be able to move on.

2006-08-13 14:46:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I hate to do this to you......look outside yourself as one of your true closest friends would see this---most people would see this as some insecure selfish child-man having his cake and eating it too!!!Chances are 99.9% he won't leave the "monster"(I wonder what the wifes story is) so the decision will have to be yours. You'll have to plan it out though, because this guy sounds like a real piece of work and you MUST make sure you're safe and out his reach. Good luck ....the longest part of any journey is taking the first step.

2006-08-13 14:42:44 · answer #3 · answered by ron k 4 · 0 0

Yes, he should know better. The fact is he is having a hard time dealing with reality. He could be dangerous.

Don't worry about ending it without the guilt.. (He will probably blame it all on you anyway.) You just need to end it. Period.

Watch out for the guilt trip he will pull.

2006-08-13 14:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 0 0

Do you have guilt about having an affair with a married
man? It's funny how you ask how to end your relationship
with this man and not feel guilty. I think if you really wanted to end it with him, you could, why are you so worried about feeling guilty? Tell him good-bye and he''ll
move on as soon as he finds someone else who will listen
to him whine.

2006-08-13 15:35:51 · answer #5 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0 0

o.k use your head here... Have you ever had a man lie about you?
There is a reason this man was divorced three times and do you really think it is all the women's fault?

You are easy.. he has it all. someone to do his cooking, cleaning, and not to mention sex.. and.. on the side he has more sex....

For all you know he could be having sex with her then coming to you with a blow jobs.... and you don't even no if he cleaned his wife off of him first..
Don't feel guilty for dumping him.. feel guilty for being dumb and messing with someone elses husband...

2006-08-13 14:35:26 · answer #6 · answered by Ibdreamin099 2 · 0 0

You are being used....he wants his cake and eat it too....he is a big baby,,,,because he hasnt' got the guts to take responsibility for anything, you , his marriage(s) . the fact he has been married 3 times and makes you feel guilty about ending only means he is no good...not for you or any of them....do his wife a favor,,,let her know what she is married to.

2006-08-13 14:38:55 · answer #7 · answered by smt1967 2 · 0 0

Tell him how guilty you feel for having an affair behind his wife's back. You should not feel guilty for breaking it off with him you should feel guilty for trying to break up a family with kids. You should break it off with him because even though there might be a slight chance that he left his wife for you he might just do the same to you.

2006-08-13 14:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0 0

You need to get straight in your head the definition of manipulation. That's what he'd doing for his how purpose--to keep a good thing in his life. YOU? You don't owe him a d__ thing! Your obligation is to yourself, to your peace of mind, to your life where you have the possibility of having a relationship where the give and take goes both ways.

2006-08-13 14:43:40 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 0 0

If his wife were truely a "monster" he would have left a long time ago. Look at his track record. He's a cheating, lieing, controling, useless SOB. But, if that's what you choose to do, then live with it. It's your choice.

2006-08-13 14:44:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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