on friday night my fiance went out with his best friend to cheer him up after he broke up with his g/f. he went to a small r.s.l club to play pool and have a few drinks. but at 4.30am he rang me to say he was coming home and i know that the rsl closes at 1 am and he didn't return home until 9am the next day. anyway when they finally got home his friend started talking about dancing with some girls when my fiance nudged him to "shut up". i didn't say anthing i just said im glad u had a good time. but later i found sign in slips for night clubs, after i said something he finally admitted he went somewhere else, and won't tell me anything else. i don't mind him going out but should i be worried there is something he is not telling me? i keep wondering why he would ring and say he was coming home but not actually getting home until over 4 hours later.
2006-08-13 14:12:30 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There is something wrong with this picture, if he's lying to you about this and you know that he was dancing with other girls at some club all night.....WHAT ELSE IS HE LYING ABOUT OR WILL LIE ABOUT????
Sit him down and let him know that it's not ok to lie to you or not saying anything (thats still considered lying) and you're not going to take it .
2006-08-13 14:48:20 · answer #1 · answered by mariana m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being paranoid. You're being more than generous with allowing him to go out with his friend. I would do some soul searching about him saying he was going to be home at a certain time; then not showing up until hours later. Plus, the nudging. Have there been other things going on that you have questioned? My thing is; we all only have one life. We never know when it's going to be over. Love, respect, and trust are all very important in a relationship. Which, his nudging his friend, to me didn't show much respect. I'd have a heart to heart and really think about where your relationship is going not where you want it to be going. Good Luck!
2006-08-13 21:23:54 · answer #2 · answered by honeybee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In any relationship there has to be honesty, or the relationship is not going to work. Your bf is not being honest. You both need to sit down and figure out what it is that is lacking in the relationship that would necessitate the need to go to after hours clubs and or strip clubs to get the company of another woman.
You should be paranoid if his pal is over there blabbing about things they did, because either he thinks that your bf told you about what they did or he is trying to make some brownie points with you so that if you dump the bf he has a quick 'in' where you are concerned.
2006-08-13 21:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um..I'm sorry, but I would be worried. I don't think I would assume he was cheating on me, but I would be mad because he lied about it!! If he's not telling you where he went, something is going on. Maybe he ended up hanging out with a bunch of people and maybe an ex was there or something. I dont' know, but whatever it is, it must be bad enough for him to think you'll get mad. Just tell him that you are very curious as to why he won't tell you. I know this sounds horrible, but if you make him feel really guilty, he'll probably tell you!!
2006-08-13 21:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by Trish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is deliberately withholding something from you it indicates what he did was something to be ashamed of. It could mean nothing, or it could be that he was having sex with someone else. There's no way for you to know. The risk you face is that there are things he could be doing that fit with the pattern of "goes out with friends, dances with other girls, is hicing something" that include cheating. If he had sex with someone else, and you do not know about it, you should consider discontinuing sexual relations with him because for all you know he could have had sex with an HIV positive person that night.
Don't let him off the hook. Make him tell you. If he won't, consider how many secrets he'll hide from you if you marry him.
2006-08-13 21:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by Bright Future Penguin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey paranoid,obviously after u saw him nudging his friend to be quiet, he is hiding something, u also know it did not take him 4 hrs. to get home. but on the real, no I don't think u have to worry, nip it in the bud now, let him know what is acceptable and what is not. he did the right thing trying to cheer up his friend, but that's about as far as that should go,the friend needs to move or else he will be cheering your man up after u leave him, I would forgive him & move on if I were u,BUT, don't stay in a relationship if u're being disrespected
2006-08-13 21:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by ladybert 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same feelings sometimes. If it's bothering you that much you have to sit down and talk to him about it. Maybe he isn't hiding anything, but maybe he is. But still, if you feel weird about it, ask him what happened. Maybe you'll question the relationship if it doesn't go like you planned, which is better for you in the long run. Trust is a big part to committing to a realtionship.
2006-08-13 21:20:44 · answer #7 · answered by nichole9853 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance is not a leader...if he can be talked into this...he is not ready for marriage...I suggest you prolong the engagement to say
about 4 more years...don't sleep with him, read the Bible with him, go to church outings with him, go to his relatives with him, go hang out with his friends with him...see if he is the same person all the time with all people...get to know this fiance of yours a lot more, before wedding bells trap you into something you may be regretful for later
2006-08-13 21:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He really sounds like he's got something to hide. Are you sure he's ready to get married? Is he sure he's ready to get married? As you say, there's nothing wrong with him going out but he should be able to be honest with you about it. You are going to be his wife! You need to sit him down and discuss your concerns. Honesty is the key to a successful marriage.
2006-08-13 21:20:11 · answer #9 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah let it go..... stop being paranoid. If something did happen his conscience will eat at him and he will tell you sooner or later and just deal with it then.
Your lucky he called at all...or you would have been on here saying he didnt call or anythin...your lucky he had the courtesy to call and let you know he was ok.... He was with his man friends and man friends do odd things together... i wouldnt worry about it/
2006-08-13 21:18:59 · answer #10 · answered by JOEYSMOM2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋