my daughter is 5 months old and i need to find a great nanny in nyc, any suggestions how i can get started?

Question

i'm really nervous about letting someone else take care of my girl.

Answer 1

I am a nanny and I have a degree in Psychology and Child Development. The people I work for contacted an agency who weeds out potential candidates and then forwards the good ones to the family. That's one option.

You could put an ad in the paper and do all the background work yourself. Make sure you get lots of references and child abuse and criminal clearances. And use your gut instincts. If you arent totally in love with a candidate, dont hire him/her.

Here are some websites that offer questions to ask potential nannies. Good luck, and if you have any other questions please feel free to email me!

http://www.nanniesplus.com/family/family-quest.shtml
http://www.ask-nanny.com/
http://www.nannies4hire.com/Media/Documents/SampleQuestionsForFamilies.pdf#search='questions%20to%20ask%20nanny'
http://www.expectantmothersguide.com/library/EUSnanny.htm
http://www.nannynetwork.com/Naniboard/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000560.html

Answer 2

You should be nervous about it. NICHD data over twenty years has shown that separation from mommy causes devastating affects in infants and toddlers. Quick list - IQ is lowered, attachment to mommy is lowered, daddy's approval of baby is lowered, baby's social skills are lowered, depression and anxiety increase.

Your baby does not need a nanny with an education. This is utterly irrelevant to the needs of an infant - that's a con job.

Your baby needs your arms, your attention, your love and time.

The bad effects of day care are not related to the quality of care, research has shown over and over. It's not the quality of the day care center or nanny - even daddy and grandma are not good enough. The baby wants mommy and is incredibly stressed by separation from her. The infants brain floods with stress hormones when mommy is not around. This impairs learning.

When the baby spends her day wishing for mommy and not getting her, she learns mommy doesn't care about her feelings (don't try to convince a baby - actions speak louder than platitudes!) and she learns she is helpless to change things in her life.

You should NOT let someone else take care of your child. You had her, she needs you. Over my 14 years of childrearing, it's been shocking to see how utterly detached from their kids moms who bail out on childrearing are. They have no clue about what their kids need or want in life. Their kids hate it - read books by kids raised by nannies.

And remember, if the nanny does a good job - she's the mommy, not you. You will probably find this intolerable and fire the nanny, thus really screwing up your kid by giving her caregiver after caregiver, loss after loss.

Why do this to your child? Trust your instincts - you're not nervous - you KNOW you should not let someone else take care of your baby.

Answer 3

This is for Cassandra....

I have been a nanny for 12 years, and have cared for 12 kids....NONE of them have issues from being away from Mommy! As long as parents spend quality time with their children when they ARE home, NOTHING bad is going to come of it!!!!
I hope that you are able to stay home with your kids...not everyone can. Everyone is different, and just because someone chooses to work outside of the home, doesn't mean they love their kids any less than you love yours!!!

Back to the question...

There are some GREAT agencies out there...BUT they are expensive! I have been hired by all my families by word of mouth! Talk to friends, ask friends of friends! And go with your gut feeling. If you meet a perspective nanny and something inside says "she isn't the one"...BUT she has great references, she's been doing it for along time...GO WITH YOUR GUT!!! Mother's instincts are NEVER wrong!!!!

Good Luck! There are some wonderful nannies out there!!

Answer 4

Shop around. Call a few nanny agencies and do a "go see" to ask questions. Also, ask any of your co-workers or friends if they have any recommendations.