Im seventeen years old, and I have been dating the same boy for two years and a half. all of the friends that I had before we started dating are gone, they all stabbed me in the back. So all I have is pretty much just him. Then, I make friends, but I find something wrong with them, and in six months theyre gone. Its just, my mom keeps givng me a hard time saying I need friends blah blah blah, but my boyfriend is my best friend and honestly- he is the only one that I hang out with. My mom said something to me about me not having friends, and I said- "what about megan and alleia?" and she is like, how much do you want to bet, in six months, they wont be there?...and I know its me- I dont know why Im pushing them away, if its because Im evil and am getting bored or what- i dont know what my issues is..just, ack....help...please
2006-08-13 13:46:07 · 7 answers · asked by Aria 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
First off, I think it's admirable that you admit YOU'RE responsible for your situation. A lot of people would shrug it off or blame others. That's a great first step.
I don't know enough about the situation, but I'd say a bit of the problem is probably originated from your mother. She sounds pretty pushy, maybe perfectionistic. I'd hazard a guess and say you often feel like nothing you do is good enough for her. If I'm right, then I'd guess you're pretty perfectionistic when it comes to not only friends, but school work and other things. This would explain why you often "find something wrong with" the people you make friends with. This, apparently, is not working for you, so it obviously needs to stop. How? Take a look at yourself. Are you perfect? Probably not. But is anyone? Probably not. It's an unrealistic belief, to assume you need to be perfect. Next, do you like yourself? I think that's the key difference between people who have a lot of friends and those who don't. It's hard to fathom truly liking others for who they are, and for all their faults and potential mistakes, if you can't do the same for yourself. There are plenty of books out there on how to accept yourself, I would recommend picking up a few, and starting from there.
2006-08-13 14:20:54 · answer #1 · answered by JudasHero 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was once in the same situation. I pushed almost all of my friends away because I only wanted to spend time with my boyfriend. Are you a jealous person? I was, and if you are as well, it may be that when you start to get close to your friends and because you hang out with your boyfriend as well, you may start to feel threatened and feel that he may get feelings for them? If that is the case, it could very well stem from the fact that you have been "stabbed in the back", to use your own words, by your former friends. The only way to get over this, in my opinion, is to distance yourself to a certain degree from your boyfriend. Keep telling yourself that I'll be fine if he doesn't want to be with me. And you will become a much stronger person.
PS- I am now married to my High School sweetheart of 15 years (I'm 28 now), and I have complete trust in him and my friendships today are so fulfilling, and I know that they will last forever. I hope you experience them as well.
2006-08-13 14:32:45 · answer #2 · answered by errin_24ca 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I was in this same situation that you are in I was seventeen once and had a boyfriend that I did everything with, I know your going to hate this answer but here it is, he took all my time and I did not be able to find myself, I know you love him and want to spend all your time with him but friends are important to. You may have a problem sticking to friends because all of your time is spent with your boyfriend but you need to have a life out side of his relationship come on your seventeen and you have your whole life ahead of you. Please go out maybe just start with one night a week with the girls, see how that goes eas into it slowly and if its that your boyfriend does not want you to have friends than you need to look at the situation and know that it is unhealthy and maybe some time apart would be good for the both of you. I know your situation is hard but remember your mom has been through it too, it may not seem like she understands but she does love you and only wants the best for you. Good luck kiddo!!! Hang in there it will get better you just need to decide on your own you know what is in your heart......
2006-08-13 14:11:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps they are jealous of your good seems, that men might such as you greater over them? You mentioned it your self you're a astonishing elementary going guy or woman with a competent character why does not truthfully absolutely everyone like that?...the two there are different motives or you're only choosing the incorrect friends....
2016-12-11 08:11:53 · answer #4 · answered by lesniewski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hang out more at them mall out a rink its not u its them they arent friends if they stab you in the back talk to them have fun act like your life is great but not perfect no one likes some one who is perfect
2006-08-13 13:52:49 · answer #5 · answered by babeツ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone needs more than a boyfriend. how much do you want to bet you listen to your boyfrinds opinion about your friends alot.after his bitching for 6mo. you give up.maybe you shouldtell him to take a hike.
2006-08-13 14:14:45 · answer #6 · answered by rosebud123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're young your mom wants you to circulate more with your peers... being with your bf all the time limits your social circle.. have fun, enjoy more time with your girl friends.. know them more and don't center you life with your bf
2006-08-13 14:03:09 · answer #7 · answered by ?Kukay?® 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋