Is your personality really your own?

Question

A friend and I are having a debate about people's personality. I believe that a person peronality as they see it today is a mixture of all personalities of the people that person met over his or her lifetime (mother, father, teachers, friends, etc.) . Do you agree? If not explain why.

Answer 1

I completely agree with you! I'm a lot influenced by my mom because I think she's achieved lots of good things and is a great woman. Those people, I consider as role models do influence me in a certain way: Malcolm X...
It doesn't mean I don't have a strong head on my shoulders but it was built up by my experiences and those people who've been in my life (however).

Answer 2

Personality is a mixture of heredity, culture, personal experiences, and the situation influences which traits are expressed. Heredity is a strong influence and influences how we interact with others AND how others respond to us. The situational influence is often overlooked; however, you may see this in yourself or others when remembering how you behave in certain situations (among a group of strangers) as opposed to other situations (with family or close friends). Psychologists are well known for doing research on twins in researching personality, and I've included a link to an article on the topic.

You write that you "believe" certain things about personality but you do not mention the rationales behind the beliefs. You may wish to instead take a course in psychology or do some research on the topic so that belief is replaced by thinking about the evidence. All the best to you in finding sources to help you answer your question.

Answer 3

Is my personality my own? Am I me? Who am I? I am me.

Just a little free association thinking. I will answer in this way. Yes, there are influences - all kinds of influences on an individual. So what? I am still the only one and the one and only ME.

Here are the lyrics to the song The One & Only by Christian Wunderlich which expresses better than I can the answer to your question:


Call me, call me by my name or call me by my number
You put me through it
I'll still be doing it the way I do it and yet, you try to make me forget, who I really am
Don't tell me I'm no best
I'm not the same as all the rest

I am the one and only nobody I'd rather be
I am the one and only, you can't take that away from me

I've been a player in the crowd scene
A flicker on the big screen
My soul embraces one more in a million faces
High hopes and aspirations, and years above my station
Maybe but all this time I've tried to walk with dignity and pride

I am the one and only nobody I'd rather be
I am the one and only, you can't take that away from me

I can't wear this uniform without some compromises
Because you'll find out that we come
In different shapes and sizes
No one can be myself like I can
For this job I'm the best man
And while this may be true, you are the one and only you

I am the one and only nobody I'd rather be
I am the one and only, you can't take that away from me

I am the one and only nobody I'd rather be
I am the one and only, you can't take that away from me

Answer 4

I believe that 'personality' is made up of many different factors.

While your suggestion of the mixture of all personalities that one has met is an interesting one, I think it is a simplification of the truth. I don't think that we actually mix in aspects of other's personalities into our own, but we are influenced to varying degrees by them.

I think that personality is also quite strongly influenced by genetics. My son and my father both had very different childhood experiences. They grew up in very different families including differences in the size of the family, the geographic location the family resided in, the religious influences, the education levels, the point in time that their respective childhoods took place and many other particulars. For all these differences, and despite only sporadic contact through the years they they both lived in this world, their personalities are remarkably similar in many ways. I can only attribute this to genetics (and they do look alike more than I look like either of them).

Personal experiences are also a major factor. I think that if one has a lot of good fortune in life it will result in different personality traits than if that same individual had lived through a lot of trauma.

So, in conclusion, I think there are three major factors at work in the formation of the individual's personality. In order of importance I would list them so: genetics; personal experience; third party influence.

Final thought: our personalities are not, I think, the homogenous single stream of consciousness we tend to think of them as. I believe that each individual has actually a community of thought within their mind. For mentally healthy individuals this community integrates almost seemlessly, and thus we have the illusion of homogeneity. When one's mental state is subjected to immense stresses then cracks appear, such as those manifested by multiple-personality disorder, schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder, just to mention a few.

Answer 5

I do not agree.

That would require that you read the minds of all the people you meet.
What we see when we interact with people is the personality they show us, not the one that they actually possess.

Moreover, the brain, although good at learning, doesn't just copy what it experiences. It compares present experiences to previous ones, and to previously gained knowledge.It's also capable of unique ideas; ideas that no one has ever come up with before. That much is quite clear from technological progress, at very least.

And personality isn't just determined by what you learn; it's also affected by inherited characteristics and physical changes in the brain (like, if you lop off part of the brain).

Answer 6

Disagree.

I would say that it is not a mixture of everyone else's personality, but rather an accumulation of effects created by our reactions to those other people. We can consciously alter our personalities by learning to alter our responses to our environment and the people in it.

Answer 7

I believe in the behavioural theories of personality. Behaviourists believe that personality is shaped by interaction with the outside world (stimuli). A famous Behaviourist is Pavlov, who identified that dogs will salivate not only in response to food, but also in response to "indicators" of food (the sound of the dog food dish hitting the floor, for example). I also relate to the cognitive theory of personality, which explains that our behaviour is shaped by our expectations of other people and the world.

I definitely don't believe that our personality is a "mix" of the personalities of others, but I do believe that it is shaped by our responses to the words and actions of others, as well as our expectations of others.

Answer 8

I agree. I think people are born with certain personality traits and the rest they just pick up from their environment. It's an interesting topic of discussion. Good question!

Answer 9

Yes, I believe we are a blend of everything and everyone we have ever met that has made an imprint/impression upon us. Plus, we are also who we are bc of our genetics. Note that even in the same family, children can be very different.

Answer 10

yes, from infancy to adolescent you are influenced by the people around you, there are innate characteristicsin you but most of your personality was acquired from your surroundings, your personality was shaped with the help of your parents, friends, teachers, etc... as they said, a babies mind is a blank slate and will just be filled up information as the baby grow older, sowhoever feeds the baby information is much likely the molder of his/her personality