being engaged for more than 2years, & fiance is postponing the marriage re financial reasons, and ask his girl to wait, should she wait more?
2006-08-13 13:20:04 · 14 answers · asked by Totti Frotti 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's been postponing the wedding for more than two years, citing financial reasons.....I don't think that's it. I think he wants to hold on you as long as he can without marriage, then when you get tired of waiting, let you go. He likes things the way they are. If I were you, I would tell him he has 6 months to make you his wife, or you are gone. He either will, or if I'm right, he won't! Either way, you'll know for sure, and can get on with your life.
2006-08-13 13:32:02 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get married now. Here's how.
1) If you guys have financial problems why not go in for a court marriage. It costs very little.
2) If he has some place to stay and a bed to sleep on why not move in with him ?
3) If he works and can earn for his food and half the rent and you work and can earn for your food and half the rent I feel it would be possible to marry now.
4) What more would it cost ? Just lead a simple life for now.
I don't see a problem unless he is jobless or earning far too little. All men and all women are not too rich. The rich, the middle class and the poor all marry. You may need to take up a job to help out. If you two really love each other and he has some job why not marry now ?
I believe 35+ is a bit late to have kids. You don't have much time to get kids so hurry up with the wedding before you go over the hill.
Just tell him you want a court wedding and a bed to sleep on and that's all you want. See what he says. If he agrees marry him. If he says no and brings up another reasons then you know what to do next.
2006-08-13 13:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by Bachelor boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's making excuses. He doesn't want to get married. When you look at it less than one percent of people who get married are financially ready.
Lay it on the line with him. "Fish or cut bait". If he balks then dump him right there. He should have been the leader in this relationship. He should have set the tempo. Not whimping around whining, "I'm not ready". You guys would much more money if you were married.
Check out the following website. It's for guys but women can use it as well. It shows some of the reasons why a guy won't get married. It details "the man with a plan". It has in the book a plan and a process for mate selection that women can use as well as men. It will also give you a "bird's eye" of a guy's psyche.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/
Good luck
2006-08-13 13:33:22 · answer #3 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the people involved. If the girl really wants to get married more than anything, she needs to find a different guy. If she loves the guy more than anything she needs to wait until he is ready.
Nothing good will come of a marriage if both people are not ready and willing to work at it.
2006-08-13 13:53:13 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends, if the reason he wants to postpone is really for financial reasons. A lot of men use that as an excuse. She should definately talk to him about it.
2006-08-13 13:28:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, finances are always going to a problem. Unless you are a millionaire or billionaire money is always going to an issue. I would let him know how I feel. Tell him that you are ready to get married, you want to set a date. If he loves you he will understand. Maybe he undecided in your relationship. Like I said you shouldn't wait on money because what is finances never get straightened out. Something to think about. Hope all works out well and good luck.
2006-08-13 13:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by csize 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you would break up with your fiance because you have to wait to get married it means you dont love him so much. If you really love someone lots you can be with them all your life and not marry.
If you want to get married as a guarantee he wont leave you or stuff you two obviously have trust issues (and married people cheat as well anyway so a ring wont stop a cheater).
It's up to you anyway but if my gf was wondering if she should stay with me because we arent getting married yet I would probably break up. I dont want someone to be with me just because I incarnate the "security" of a marriage.
2006-08-13 14:37:26 · answer #7 · answered by Bart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until when? Oh girl, you are 36 and i suppose you are also working...you can help each other sweetie..When do you intend to start a family and have children? Better give him ultimatum or else i guess he's not worth the wait...
2006-08-13 13:37:54 · answer #8 · answered by sweetbaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course if you love him if you cant afford a wedding its not his fault would you rather spend a bunch of money and be married but in debt or save up money and be engaged cant you just pretend like your married i mean start trying to have kids if you want them its not like its illegal or do one of those quick marriages in court that are costly but still legal and binding and then when you guys are better off financially reneuw your vows and have a second wedding how you really want it
2006-08-13 13:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by Sasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not just have a smaller wedding? You can always elope together and have a nice intimate wedding and not spend a lot of money. Just make sure he isn't putting the wedding off because he is scared of committment.
2006-08-13 13:25:26 · answer #10 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋