Did I dump my friend or did we simply change?

Question

I'm in high school and I've been friends with my best friend since elementary and she has always been a little weird but I never minded that. When we hit high school everything changed and I found my own clique of friends while she found her own. At the beginning of high school we hung out at lunch everyday but in the middle of the school she started eating lunch with her new friends (they have a bad rap at school) so I started eating lunch with my new friends. When my new friend and I joined a sport's team at school and started hanging out a lot more, my old friend claimed that I dumped her for my new friend, which is not true. I just spent a lot more time with my new friend which my old friend believes that she has been replaced with, which is NOT TRUE. Now we do not talk at all, did I dump her or did we just settle in with clicques that actually represent our personalities.

Answer 1

From your story I see that it was she who first initiated the change concerning with whom she ate lunch. I don't think anyone dumped anyone; I think you both changed and gravitated to new friends who better reflect your interests. You two can still remain friends if you like. I split off from very close friends this same way and we still keep in touch to this day even though we haven't hung out together for years (and years...). If it really bothers you then talk to her about it and then the ball will be in her court.

Answer 2

In life as you get older, you start hanging out with new people and you part ways with old friends. It doesn't mean that you are not friends anymore or you dumped the other person and vice-versa. It just means that you are developing other interests and sometimes relationships don't last as long as you wished they had.

I really don't think you dumped her but both of you could find ways to hang out with each other even though it might be awkard since you and your friend might not be able to relate to one another as you use to. Still, who knows?

The best of luck to you!

Answer 3

You didn't dump her, you each just grew apart from the other. This is very common among people your age since you are changing so rapidly, you adopt groups of friends that best reflect who you are at the time.
However, I would encourage you to mend your relationship with this girl since you already have a long history together, she probably knows you as well as anyone and will help remind you of who you really are.

Answer 4

Sounds like you both just found new friends. This happens a lot, but often times it's one of the friends that "dumps" the other one more. Your friend might have felt that she made more of an effort than you did. Either way, things like this happen, and it's not your fault.

Answer 5

You both have grown up, not in a wrong or right but in a way but of forming your own personalities. This happened to me and it was very hard to stay friends with my best friend because she hung around friends that I could never be like. You did nothing wrong, she did nothing wrong, you just went your separate ways and if your friendship was strong then just maybe later in life you can be best friends again....

Answer 6

Mutual Consent.

You might want to make a short note, say " Hi " how about a coke Saturday night just to see what happens..
If she accepts, go have a coke with her..
A friend is one of the most important things you will ever have.
The good, The Bad, and The ugly. They are still your friends.

Answer 7

i made new friends along the way in my 35 year existence. note, i made new friends but did not ever dump any of them. (probably because i had something to prove when my best friends who knew me as ambitious accused me of probably not wanting to know them once i reached my goals...) so i vowed i'd never be the first to not keep in touch, and i havent (me being me...:-P well...apart from that, my friend who is muslim (i'm a staunch christian) who's been friends with me since i was 6 (we live in different countries but we still email each other!) its amazing! it saddens me to let go of any of my friendships, they're my past, they've enriched a certain part of my life, if we grew apart too much, such as in someone adopted a lifestyle that's really not sensible, then yes, i moved away from that friendship but NOT WITHOUT FIRST TRYING ...to help influence that person away from self destruction, after all, you cared about him/her once, its noble to never stop caring. my younger sis had the same qualms as u about splitting up with her high school best friend who went on to smoke pot etc (when my sister doest) so based on that, i could only support my sister...ultimately, its what your heart tells you to do, but, for me, a heart filled with love is a heart which is held together and blessed with many friendships. (a poem i once read said that one should try to not count the years as we grow older by the grey hairs we got (ok for older people but still applicable, read on pls) one should count your age by the amount of friends you have in your life. friends, u never know when u will need them, u cant choose family but you can choose friends, they are the ones who become your 'chosen' family members (sometimes they're much nicer and lovable than your own family!!) take care, wisdom.

Answer 8

don't feel bad, you made the right choice by hanging out with the peeps with a "good rap at school". if she is a true friend, she will understand that you just have different priorities

Answer 9

let her kno that that its not that you dumped her but it is that she found her clique and you found yours you probably just grew apart dont stress it