My husband has extreme jealousy that I shared my virginity with my ex-boyfriend -- I would usually call him by name not by label. We are only ex's b/c I got married and I moved (We were best friends!). Since marriage, I have been too afraid to keep up communication with my ex. However, he just joined an online community that I am also involved with (facebook) and is requesting friendship. I always wish we could still talk without my husband's rage (he has an anger problem). I am not sure what to do b/c I could not tell my husband b/c of his unfounded anger. My husband and I are 20 and my ex best friend is a senior in high school.
He and I would not try to re-establish any resemblance of a romantic relationship.. blah blah. I just want my best friend back. I haved missed him a lot! What should I do?
2006-08-13 13:00:14 · 17 answers · asked by hangout756 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you love your husband you will tell your ex the truth, that it would upset your husband too much. If you try to keep this friendship up behind your husband back then that is a violation of the trust that is suppose to be in a marriage. In his eyes he would consider it cheating behind his back (and justifiably so). Why did you marry your husband anyway? Are you saying this kid was your boyfriend and you just up and married someone else? And now as an adult you want to keep up relations with a high school boy?
2006-08-13 13:09:25 · answer #1 · answered by arvecar 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering why you would want to rekindle your friendship with an ex if married. Maybe you haven't gotten over him yet or maybe you want to make the husband jealous. It doesn't make any sense to do that. Ask yourself would you like it if the husband did that with an ex and be honest about it because I don't believe none of us would like it. Also this is a senior in high school, what could you have in common with him?
2006-08-13 13:11:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may have to write this one off as "irretrievably out of reach." Good friends or not, the difference is that he is your ex, the one you used to be involved with before you married your current mate. That one fact alone is insurmountable and should not be resurrected in any form. Your current husband may have an anger management issue, but on this one I believe he has a right to be upset and against the whole idea. Bottom line: let it be, let it be and get on with making your husband feel like he's the most important man in your life. Bad things will likely happen between you two if you persist in trying to rationalize any further relationship with your ex. Grow up, wise up. Good luck.
2006-08-13 13:10:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First you really need to find out if your ex is ONLY your best friend. It sounds like to me that there may be more to it. You said that the "only reason why you are ex's is because you got married". Does that mean when you got married you still had feelings for your ex?
The answer to that question is how you should proceed.
If you still have feelings for your ex, you can't make yourself love another person. You did make a vow to "forsake all others" but that only applies when you heart belongs to the one you are married to. As much as I hate divorce (been there), you would be wasting your husbands life it you pretend to love him. He should be set free to find his true love.
If you dont have feelings for your ex, then ultimately you must tell your husband and respect his decision. How would you feel if he had an ex girlfriend that he wanted to be in contact with against your will?
Honesty is always the best policy.
Especially in marriage.
2006-08-13 13:24:40 · answer #4 · answered by lilmissy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No wonder your husband has angry issues, you need to forget the x hes an x for some reason. Trying to get your (friend) back will not work. Deal with your husband and your marriage and move forward, looking back will only cause confusion and pain. Hope best for you!
2006-08-13 13:24:41 · answer #5 · answered by sher7us 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are married - leave your ex alone. Your husband has a right to be pissed if you start a friendship back up with him. It just isn't right and proper, especially since you had a sexual relationship. Your marriage and your husband come first.
2006-08-13 13:15:40 · answer #6 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about it, would you be upset/ jealous if your husband wanted to rekindle a relationship with an old fling? Someitmes the past just needs to be let go, adn move on with your future and happy marriage.
2006-08-13 13:25:38 · answer #7 · answered by legguy2003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your married , your husbands feelings should come before this other person, i can see why your husband is jealous.. thats just not morally right, ,,would you like it if your hubby did teh same thing to you?? really think about it OK!!!!
2006-08-13 13:08:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the ex, you need to focus on your husband and his reasons why this would make him jealous.
2006-08-13 13:22:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie i know that he seem so selfish to you,but something are meant to let go.so if you love your husband let go of that friend or honey you would have some serious problem.ask your self do my ex worth it.all this trouble i face.see if your ex was married i know he wouldn't even ruin his marriage for you.
2006-08-13 13:12:02 · answer #10 · answered by tigerisexxy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋