Should I be mad my husband that works to much??

Question

My husband and I are 22 years old. Last year my husband got this great job making over $80,000 a year when at his last job he made around $45,000. Yes I have the nice house and the nice car but I don't ever get to see him. He works around 80 to 90 hours a week. He keeps telling me that it is for our future and so we can save up enough money to have children. I would rather live in a apartment and get to see him all the time. What is a nice house when you have knowone to share it with? Should I be angry with him and tell him to go back to his old job or just shut up and be lonely? I think the worst part of it is that he loves his new job and hated his old job. What would you do?

Answer 1

It's a guy thing...you know the whole provider of the family bit

I would probably let him be for now...maybe make firm vacation plans or something where he is devoted 100% to you.

But until he is happy and settled things probably won't change too much. Also, unless your living in Manhattan, you should be able to afford having children with that kind of salary so don't let him get too crazy.

Answer 2

My husband is a workaholic, but he doesn't make very much. He is never home. last year, I told him I miss him and want him home more. I told him that we were done as a couple if he didn't get a new job. He never did. I am ready to walk out on him any day now. I am married and very lonely. I come to the point where I don't even love him any more because he is choosing his job over me. He has been at this job for almost 7 yrs now and will never quit. (He told me that)
Sorry, I don't have any advice, just my experience with same type of man.

Answer 3

I'm in the same boat. My husband loves his job and I wish he would quit and find something he could be home more often.
He won't though. We argue it about it often. My reasoning though is because we have 5 kids and i think he needs to be home more to help raise them. I sure as heck didn't conceive by myself.
Anyway. I always tell him i would rather live in a cardboard box if that meant he would be around more.
I know he does it for the money and the kids well being but sometimes me being selfish and wanting him here makes more sense.
The only solution we have come up with at this point is to make sure we try to spend as much time catching up when he is home. We put the kids to bed and watch a movie, play a game, or we sit in bed and talk.
It's hard living this way but it makes the time you do get to see him worth more than seeing him all the time.

Answer 4

More than 60 hours is too much. How long will it continue like this? Will it get better? Is there light at the end of the tunnel. Try to read some good books and pray for it to improve. Can he compromise on 60 hours? He may be a workaholic. They cant be forcing that many hours. Mine works 60 due to some debts and thats already too much. Try to discuss with patience.

Answer 5

You need to understand your husband & men in general. He's just been a man, finito!
A man is not a man if he can't fulfill financial needs of his family. He'll lose his self-esteem & becomes easily offended. That won't help your marriage in anyway.

He's working hard to make life much comfortable for you & your future kids. Finally, everyone has got to do the job he enjoys doing.

I suggest you support him & get busy yourself so that you have less time spent alone in the house. Doing this both of you could retire earlier & spend time together till eternity.

Answer 6

It sounds as though your husband is a very hard worker and very conscientious...BUT....he needs to prioritize. What good will it do to work and plan for your future if he loses you in the process? Is there an older couple who he respects and would listen to? Is there a pastor or older relative who has been there/done that? If not, you may need a few sessions with a good counsellor...just to help him put YOU into his schedule...seriously...he needs to write in INK...dates/coffees/movies with you. If he continues this way....do you really think he'll be able to "change back" when the children come along? Appreciate his good qualities, but look for ways to help him be all he can be...a good provider AND a good husband and father. Good luck!

Answer 7

I actually lost a great relationship over the same circumstances. We were supposed to get married but I was too focused on my job. I can only tell you what happened to us. It didn't work out! I had to learn the hard that life is not about how many cars you have, or how many bedrooms you have, or how much money you make, unfortunately it took me 10 years to figure this out, and subsequently lost that girl I was talking about. Your in a tough situation and you'll have to make the best choice for yourself....

Answer 8

I can't believe how many married people think that they can't get a life of their own and not set around and wait on the other to get home. Take classes, get friends, volunteer somewhere, have a girls night out. It is great that your husband is trying to make something of your lives but you don't have to sit at home and wait on him and be lonely. You will enjoy the time you do have together if you can enjoy the time when he is working.

Answer 9

Been there, done that and still doing it - boy can I relate...my husband is a firefighter and works long long hours at the station. He loves his job and gets great benefits and good pay to support our family. He is the primary source of income in our family. Let me tell you about men. They think their main purpose in the relationship is to comfortably support their family, and sometimes they tend to forget that what we need most from them is time, attention, and love. For a man, if he is working and supporting his family, this is his way of showing love. They are providers, we are the care-takers. Be glad you have a man that wants to provide for you and your future family, sounds like a good man to me.You are both young, and I'd truly believe him when he says everything he does he does for your future together. Love him, take care of him, and my guess is he will continue to love and take care of you the best way he knows how, to povide you and your future children a loving secure home.

Answer 10

if he makes 80000 that is enough to support a family. if u have a kid u will never be lonely. i made 50 to 60 thou and have a brand new house. my wife is a stay at home mom also. i have 2 kids. babys r a gift from God but make sure u r ready because u will be working for them 24/7 all year long.