she thinks the father-who is a liar-is going to support her and the baby-he cliams he has 7,000 saved up and 2 cars and will buy a house for them-he has nothing and lives and sponges off his grandma-I was informed that he held a loaded gun up to a girls head for 5 minutes to scare her-he wants her to move away to Indiana (we live in florida)
I drove 7 hours to see her-she lives with her dad- and she has made up her mind-shes keeping the baby
Im having a very hard time with this-she is uneducated as well as the 19 y/o dad-she was planning on going to college-she has a chance to model-had- her life is nothing but a BIG LIE and she wont listen to me----
What can I do???
2006-08-13 11:50:25 · 18 answers · asked by bulldog lover 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
With her moving to Indiana-I can not help her-she will be on her own-I asked her to stay with me in Florida-I have insurance and she has a job here-but if she moves-I am no longer able to be there
2006-08-13 12:03:13 · update #1
have faith MOM... i thought you of all people were going to be there for me but apparently not... i know this will be fine... and it wasnt a loaded gun it was a water pistol... i talked to the girl i know her.. your source of information is wrong... and you callin and cusing his family out is not right... and walt to he has no right talkin about lauras daughter. im very disappointed in you .. i know im young.. and im fllowing in your foot prints.. but theres going to be changes in what u did from what im going to do .. have faith thats all i ask.. your turning into judy and i hate to say it i do love you tho and i miss you ... and wish u were here for me like a real mother would be
2006-08-15 07:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by kmspoiledbrat78 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her know you are there for her and the baby which would be your grandbaby and support her emotionally. Letting her know you are there is a big help. Have your ex or "her dad" be supportive that way as well. That is great she is keeping the baby because any other choice would haunt her for the rest of her life. She can still do that modeling dreams it will just be on hold for time. As far as everything else... Pray about it, maybe move closer to her or talk her out of moving in with this guy, and with her being 17 dont you legally have rights to keep her from moving to Indiana?? so do what you can to enforce that. Call a pregnancy crisis center, they have many leads on how to help. All the best to you and your daughter and grandbaby.
2006-08-13 19:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by yeppers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sure you are trying to help your daughter through this hard time. Indiana is far. Ask yourself this: "Is she happy with him?" If you can, tell her how much you love her and how much easier it would be if she stayed in Florida with you, (at least for a few years), so you can give them insurance, food, money and shelter. When they have saved up enough money, then they can move. Tell her how much easier her life will be with you. She may say no, but she will learn. Cahnces are, she will come back if things get out of hand. Good Luck and Congradulations on becoming a Grandmother. (My friend used to turn to my Grandma when things got a little out of hand with friends or parents) Remember, your daughter is still your daughter, so sometimnes she has to learn on her own.
2006-08-13 19:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by otter7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby may force her to grow up. Just leave her be even though it seems hard. I also got pregnant at 17. I'm still with my daughter's father and we have another child. We've lived on our own for the past 3 years with no welfare or anything. I'm in the process of getting my associates degree in nursing. It may seem like she's ruining her life but it doesn't necessarily mean she will. Try to be there for her in every way possible.
2006-08-13 18:57:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really wish I could help you here. But the only advice I can think of is to support her and give her your unconditional love. I know its hard, but she is going to need it. Tell her you are always there as her safe-haven --- this guy sounds dangerous. Make sure the your ex knows the situation also and supports your opinion. You both need to work together to keep a close eye on her safety and the safety of your future grandbaby. If you try to push her, she will only pull away harder. You do not want to drive her away with this psycho father to be.... So give her as much love and support as you can, but don't give her too much money - you never know what the babies daddy might do if he gets ahold of it. If she gets in a serious bind insist she lives with you or your ex to make sure the "help" you send isn't going to him and his wants.
2006-08-13 18:57:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly there is not too much you can do. If you punish her and make her give up the baby she will just hate you and most likely run away. All you can really do is let this happen and support her. I would even try to help them out because if all this fails then she knows she can come back to you for help. Good Luck.
2006-08-13 19:03:42 · answer #6 · answered by Monkeygirlwi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do nothing but let her make her own mistakes. I'm 33 and when I was her age I was in a similar situation my parents could do anything but let me make the decisions I thought were best! yes I did come to my senses but it took three years. your just going to have to wait it out. I learn that when "grown folks" get to old for you to talk to them let them mess up! They'll see in the future what their parents were trying to tell them. I believe that no one should have to learn anything the hard way, if you listen to what your parents or others are trying to tell in the first place you can avoid a lot of heart ache.
2006-08-13 19:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by NeNe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need most now is to come to terms with the fact
that she has made a decision.You need to be supportive that is, let her know u care about her wellbeing. Give her a listening ear and still try to let her know what u found out about the guy. talk with her rationally(not in anger please) about the long term effects of her decision.Let her know you still love her because she's your baby no matter what happens,Dont talk at her or condemn her actions for now because she will only listen to you if she can see you as a friend.Take things easy one step at a time because things will surely resolve themselves,it is just a matter of time.
2006-08-13 19:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by Grace D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you make her come live with you, she will be really mad at you, trust me, im 17 and i would hate my mom, i agree with what someone else said let her try it and she'll come back to you, just be there for her though let her know that you'll accept her if she needs you and most of all, tell her you still love her no matter what she's done, and that you always will, thats all i need from my mom, she gives that to me so i trust her, just be there for her okay?
Or, ask him to come live with you too, if thats what it would take to get her to come, even though you might hate that, you'd still have your daughter
2006-08-13 21:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her fall on her face and learn the hard way. That is what it takes sometimes to wake people up. They do not want to listen to the parents or an adult who knows better than them, so just let them fall and hopefully they will wake up and realize that mom and dad was right and they should have listened.
2006-08-13 18:54:42 · answer #10 · answered by Coast2CoastChat.com 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋