Help!!! My kids are driving me mad?

Question

I have three kids. 4 year old girl, 7 year old boy, 8 year old girl. They constantly run around braking things and hitting each other. I have tried talking with them, counsuling, and time outs. Nothing works! Their father lives 9 hours away. Should I buy this from ebay http://cgi.ebay.com/OIL-TANNED-THICK-LEATHER-THREE-HOLE-JEAN-BELT-BROWN-40_W0QQitemZ150020897813QQihZ005QQcategoryZ2993QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem and use it on their backs and thighs when they misbehave?

Answer 1

no, try timeout

Answer 2

NO!NO! NO! Just let them run around for hours in a nearby field where you can see then. Beating them should ALWAYS be the last resort. All kids are boisterous at a point in their lives. It is human nature. There are lots of other things you can do: sports, art classes, acting, or some active program. The only thing beating them will do is teach them to jump whenever a belt snaps. Plus it may also be the fact that their father isn't near. Just try these ideas and then if you ABSOLUTELY must maybe you can purchase the belt. (Hopefully, due to all the weight you'll lose from running around with them. May God bless you.)

Answer 3

All kids have something they really, really...like or want to have. I have 5 kids and even though they weren't all that unruly, they did need a bit of structure so I started what we called the Happy/Sad Face chart. We would have a gathering at the beginning of a month and try to decide together what great and wonderful things the kids wanted to have, get, do etc. We set a limit to what the reward would be and they had the choice of either getting their reward in cold hard cash...or in an item or activity.

The chart was for a full month, however, because that is a long time for a child to collect his reward...we broke it down to weekly bites.

At the beginning of the week which we put as being Sunday...the kids would be responsible for their behaviour and in keeping it in check...if they did something great, i.e. shared something with a sibling, helped a sibling get dressed or undressed etc., or simply just played nicely, used his quiet voice inside etc., for every day he would receive a Happy face sticker, sometimes we would go to the dollar store and they would pick out their own stickers that they liked...and we'd use those.

The chart had a square for each day of the week for one month...these could be run off at a copier store just as easily or printed off the computer...we did this. For each day that the child was good...or relatively so...he would place his happy sticker on the day involved, usually just before bed. If he acted up or was bold, aggressive etc. he would lose his happy sticker and it would be replaced by a sad sticker (some really ugly sticker that the child picked out to represent bad behaviour). That action used to send my kids into a "I'll be good, please give me the happy sticker". :) At the end of every week we would add up all the happy stickers and sad stickers...more happy the child got his special choice reward, if he didn't do well and got more sad ones...he would get a bad reward such as an ugly toy, treat etc.

Our children were always well behaved and long after we stopped using this method, we could always say "do you want a Happy or a sad sticker today?" and they'd laugh and say which one they wanted.

One other thing we used to do with them was provide them with a dollar each or enough to buy a little treat, just before we entered a store that we were doing shopping at. If they were good the entire trip through, they got to spend the money on a treat...if it ended up costing a bit more, we threw it in so they'd still believe they were earning the reward. If they weren't well behaved they gave us the money back even before the trip ended, but they still had the opportunity to earn it back if they were behaved the rest of the time we were in the store....very rarely if ever did we get out of the store with any of the money we'd given them...and they loved going shopping with us.

Using the belt will get their attention but it won't earn your respect nor will it create any type of good relationship with you. You could very well end up being the "bad parent" if the dad allows them to do more than you do etc.

Can't say the happy - sad sticker solution will work but everyone I've told it to who has followed it...has seen a good improvement in their kids.

Good luck with this and try to avoid physical or verbal animosity, it usually just escalates the bad behaviour or they act poorly while they are away from home with friends.

Answer 4

Are you talking about beating them? Sounds like you and Dad are separated or divorced. If so, your children are confused and angry because they don't have a complete family at home.

Think about it! This is what you do: enroll all 3 in a martial arts class and you will be amazed at how this will help them tremendously. Do it NOW!!!

They also need to be seeing Dad on a regular basis. You and he can drive 4 1/2 hrs each and meet half way so they can start spending quality time with him. And no excuses from you or him as to why this isn't possible. The children must come first, always!!!

He must see them every weekend or at least every other weekend for now. Then either you or he needs to relocate so the children can spend each weekend with him and at least one night in the middle of the week with Dad.

Stop thinking of yourselves and start thinking of them and I guarantee you will see a big change in the children.

Answer 5

Sounds like Mother needs a break!

But don't resort to physical violence, yes hitting with anything is physical violence, or you could end up in jail! I would bet you are NOT consist with time out, ignoring, etc. Call your local children's mental health center for help. Many have parenting classes that show you ways to positively reinforce the kids good behavior.

Ask a neighbor to help or a relative or pay a baby sitting for a couple of hours at least once a week. Then get out of the house, go to a movie, whatever.

Answer 6

Well my parents never mind giving me the belt when i needed it.. and there parents did them.. and you know what me and my brother and sisters all grew up just fine. And our parents grew up just fine as well. A swat on the bottom is just fine. My kids get it if they need it.. depending on what they did, most time though putting them in the corner or taking away something they really like works the best. As long as you can control your temper and never hit out of angry. Just make sure to talk to them and remind them how much you love them.
I also agrees with no sugar, and allowing the kids to have play time is very important. Good Luck.

Answer 7

In my culture, my family DISCIPLINES their children with a belt or with their hand (kids get hit on their thighs, hands, butts, and arms, never on their backs). Remember, beatings does not scare kids nor does it bother them anymore. some of them get used to it, so punishing them is another option. Having three children may mean that they could be fighting for your personal attention and for their father or maybe something is bothering them at school, neighbors, or family. also, punishment is very useful. taking away their t.v (or limiting t.v. time will work), toys, games, and activity times will definitely work mom. When you punish them, write up a schedule so your children can help you with house chores. let them wash dishes, sweep the floors, mop the floors, vacuum, make their beds, clean their rooms , clean bathrooms, rake leaves, and do anything that is safe to do. When you see progress, praise them with positive remarks. Take family trip, ride bikes together, have a barbecue, cook dinner together, or do anything that is fun. Also their FATHER needs to rotate the parental time. if he does not want to get them, GO TO COURT and file for joint custody. YOU need a break. it takes TWO to make your precious out-of-control kids. until you make arrangements with your husband, give your kids these jobs. they should eventually learn how to respect you and realize that being a mom is very hard. You can also call Nanny 911. the ideas that i gave you comes from her show and from personal experiences. I hope this help. you need to let your kids know that YOU are the boss!

Answer 8

They are bored & they miss their dad. Try to sit down & do something constructive with them. How about coloring with them, or doing a puzzle together? A walk to the park? A contest to see how many toys can be picked up & put away in 10 minutes! A prize can be that Mom gets to read them a story, or take them for ice cream, use your imagination! They need you more than the housework does.
Make cookies. Teach them how to prepare scrambled eggs.etc

Answer 9

in case you have a filter out interior the tank then which will look after fish poo, all you need to do is sparkling the filter out oftentimes like somebody else has suggested approximately a pair of times a week looking on what proportion fish you have. stable success & have exciting and if the little ones proceed to force you mad, take a seat with a cup of tea and watch the fish, they have an extremely soothing effect!

Answer 10

Mine were driving me nuts last week.. It was funny, my buddy called me out of the blue to go fishing.. Ya see, I am home with the kids while my wife works.. It was just what I needed... I was like a new man the next morning... Just take a few hours for yourself...Good Luck

Answer 11

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
How could you even think that you can end up in jail that's child abuse and it's very violent.

Just put them in a time out, ground them until they learn to love each other, take away their things to teach them a lesson.

YOU SHOULD NEVER ABUSE YOUR CHILD EVER
You have the right to hit them or slap them on the face but

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND BY USING A THING LIKE THAT

PLEASE DONT USE IT- YOU COULD REALLY END UP IN JAIL AND YOUR KIDS CAN BE TAKEN AWAY- I also dont think you want that