not in love with you anymore ?after decades of being married,there's not much going on in the bedroom,tried all the romantic and role playing stuff,didn't work.there is no compliments or desires anymore.i'm deeply in love with him ,but my heart is breaking cause i don't know what to do.he will never talk about it either.i do not suspect him of having another woman,cause he's always home and not a phone person. i cannot see or understand a reason for this except maybe he's bored with me.i do consider myself to be adventurous and a bit of a risk taker.i'm a true romantic at heart.i just can't seem to get his attention.
2006-08-13 11:07:54 · 10 answers · asked by stormy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Me and my husband went through this in the very first 3 yrs of our marriage.It almost ended in divorce.But I stopped trying so hard to put a spark into my marriage that didn't require one.Our spark was already there.It was our friendship.He is my best friend.And I accept his dull antisocial personality.And he accepts that I am a social butterfly.We just comprimise.He won't be any good at talking it out.Men don't know how to disect feelings and situations.If you want to make any progress you might want to try a marriage retreat.It is wonderful.You can go through a church or through a councelling center.But it's not for people contemplating divorce.It's for poeple exactl;y like you who have a wonderful loving marriage but just need to bring out the bright colors a little.Marriage enrichment.hope that helps.
2006-08-13 11:18:43 · answer #1 · answered by sunkissed299 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awww honey..I'm sorry to hear that. Have you talked to him about counseling? I NEVER thought my husband would go, but he did go. He won't seek help unless he is in enough pain though. Maybe he is depressed?? Depression really takes the spunk out of life...I know because I have suffered from depression off and on through the years. What I am saying is that it may have NOTHING to do with you, so don't be hard on yourself please.
Try talking to him in a different way..if you were firm and demanding when you spoke with him, then be soft and kind this time...if you were soft and kind, then vice versa.
If you are determined to believe that it has something to do with you...then write down everything he has told you through the years that he needed..or all of the hints he has dropped at various times and go to him and ask him if those things are still bothering him and let him know that you will work harder than ever to help the marriage, HOWEVER, make sure you include your needs( write those down also)..let him know about your concerns in the bedroom...etc. I think that if you approach this with a.."Hey honey, I know I never did listen to you enough when you said such and such"...and THEN let him know what you are needing, he will be more likely to respond to you.
That is only if you believe that this could have something to do with you...otherwise counseling would be my best advice. Good luck to you!!! Hope this helps!
2006-08-13 19:24:20 · answer #2 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IS he on any meds?? You say you have been married for decades, so have I and a bunch of my middle aged female friends are dealing with their older husbands taking dif meds, blood pressure, diabetes, testosterone or arthritis - stuff most every guy over 45 faces. A lot of meds and some aging conditions cause ED and it is lot easier to fake you don't want to be intimate then tell your wife the fact you are not getting much blood flowing down there anymore.
I would drag him in for a physical exam asap.
2006-08-13 18:44:28 · answer #3 · answered by funschooling m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TALK , fight for your man, get him drunk liquor loosens the tongue find a way to get him to talk, cry a man can never resist the women he loves tears, maybe your having to much sex and he can't handle the pressure so he just shut down, maybe he's just tired and afraid you'll leave him if he can't hang, but you will lose him if the affection and the communication dies in your relationship something can piss my husband off with the kids or me and he will get quiet and not really talk to us and i leave him alone and let him be mad for a few days then i start to stroke his ego i treat him like he's the smartest man in the world and i need his advise on everything i don't follow him around like a dumb kid but i say honey what do you want for dinner? he may say chicken then I'll say yeah we haven't had that for a while good idea then I'll cook it the way he likes and bring him his plate and a cold beer tell him we haven't talked in a while and i want to hold him and get some things off my chest and when we do talk later that night in bed i find out that he was mad because the kids didn't do their chores for 2 days and i didn't say anything to them. that was just an example maybe you can come up with some ideas from my example Good Luck and God Bless You!
2006-08-13 19:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by spagetti7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a mans sexual peak is at 18, but the time they r in their middle years, many of them have lost interest in sex. maybe its time 2 make a date nite with him and try 2 rekindle things. hes your husband so i would assume also your best friend, so sit him down and tell him there has 2 b a change in your marriage, maybe something as simple as a movie once a week, a walk, a shared dinner, something small that gives u time alone and time 2 reconnect.
good luck
2006-08-13 18:13:10 · answer #5 · answered by J R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to take control of your marriage and make things work even it Menes something out of the routine. If you are not willing to do so you need to make the move to leave your self no matter how hard it is you have to make the moves if you love your husband you have to be willing to let him go. If you like I can answer more in depth. I was a man like your husband at one time.
2006-08-13 18:18:14 · answer #6 · answered by Kevin P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very natural and very common. you dont have to worry too much about it. in marriage life this happens. the problem is most of us at this stage lose passion and try to split, thinking that other men/women would bring more fantacy, peace which is definitely false and artificial and very wrong. such trend would spoil your life. you see, you have the solutions within you, your husband is not after other women and you are so romantic and truly in love with him:) thats awsome. now just be with him , have more discussions with him. and do not worry about bedroom thing too much. as a human it does not mean that we have to do bedroom thing 24 hours or each and everyday. we have many other things to do. if you dont have kids , plan and discuss with him about this. even try to be more close with him and as a wife explore his inner world, what he is thinking or why he is worried. take it positive and cheer up. everything would be fine. and i can see the power of having a nice life with your husband. dont worry. thank you
2006-08-13 18:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by Deepthoughts 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should really talk to him about this. Tell him how you are feeling, and that you still deeply love him and are hurt by this. I agree with the first answer too, make a date night or cook a dinner and eat it by candle light, serve his fav wine or champaigne. Communicate though, that is the most important.
2006-08-13 18:16:53 · answer #8 · answered by mcentiremadness 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
relax dont take it personaly,try to enetain yourself.or since you risk taker do someone else ,a one time thing ,here and there,that way you can have good sex and take presure off husband,everyones happy
2006-08-13 18:18:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you the baby girl that dazed and confused has just proposed to on here?
2006-08-13 18:14:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋