Oh, I am not gay, but I have an aquatiance, well sort of, and I think he might be gay, just wondering if you get offended if someone asks you because if the majority do I will not ask the guy if he is or isn't.
2006-08-13 09:36:49 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hmmm.. that's not an easy one. My first instinct was to say women take this question easier than men do. But that's not always true. If the person is straight, they may get upset about it. So unless this is a really close friend, you might stay away from it. If it's a close friend, I think that you can preface it some kind words first.
Also don't let your gay stereotypes or preconceived notions pull you in. A man with feminine qualities is NOT always going to be gay and the same for women with some masculine qualities. But then again, why are you so curious about that? Why is it on your mind? Does it really matter for you? Will you like this friend any less? ....Self-examination is required...So maybe you should check yo' self before you wreck yo' self...
2006-08-13 10:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by CuriouslySpeaking 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try asking if they are going out with someone... if yes, ask the first name. There are ways to be subtle. If you feel you must ask, do so privately. Remember it's also in the way that you ask... saying something like "You aren't GAY are you?" kind of implies a negative response on your part.... Even a minor fib, "Um, I happen to know someone who likes you but you might not be interested...it's a guy.." might be a way to approach the subject but not being judgmental while asking..(BTW if they answer yes and want to know who the person is...just tell them you don't feel comfortable saying who, you'd rather just let them know that you aren't adverse to the idea...Usually works).
Overall be very careful. Some guys can go completely ballistic so you really should be aware of that and take it into consideration.
2006-08-13 09:56:43 · answer #2 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ask based on his looks, he may be more offended than if you ask based on his behavior. Some men look effeminate, and unless they accentuate it, they otherwise are not responsible for acts of nature. But if they ACT effeminate, that would not likely be an accident of birth unless it accompanied other gay attributes.
So the odds of the question being accepted as a reasonable inquiry are better if it is prompted by behavior rather than appearance.
2006-08-13 10:35:18 · answer #3 · answered by Grist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on why the person asking needs to know. If you are of the same sex and want to ask that person out, it's fine. Or if you have another gay friend you'd like to hookay them up with, that might be ok. But if you're just being nosy, it's nosy. It would be like asking somebody how much they make, or what they weigh, or whatever.
2006-08-13 10:11:58 · answer #4 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a lesbian and I am very open, so I'm not really offended if someone asks me. of course, it might depend from where the question is coming or the way it is asked. if someone is asking with and "eww, are you gay?" kind of attitude, then yeah, I would find that offensive.
you said this is an aquaintance....not a close friend? and I'm assuming they are not open if they are? then it's not your business to ask....if they are, it's their business if and when they tell you.
2006-08-13 10:03:01 · answer #5 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i really wasn't gay and a lot of people are askin me if I was gay I would be totally annoyed! But if I was in da closet then I would be worried no reason to be offended..I might pretend to be though
2006-08-13 09:58:10 · answer #6 · answered by quizzed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm gay and that question does not offend me. I've learned, however, than many straight men are deeply offended by the question. I'm not certain, but perhaps they feel it is an affront to their masculinity. I've also known many closeted gay people to get offended by the question.
2006-08-13 15:32:52 · answer #7 · answered by Speedo Inspector 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't, but I have a friend who says he's straight, but he as all the qualities of a gay man stereotype, including the feminine voice and lisp. He gets soooo pissed off when someone asks if he's gay.
2006-08-13 09:46:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't but if you and your friend live in a very red neck, conservative, evangelical hell hole, then I would think twice only because if he is, he's more than likely having enough to deal with already. If you are in a more tolerant are, then by all means.
Also 'curiouslyspeaking' has a good answer as well
2006-08-13 11:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well why do you care if he is gay or not? Second question is would you get offended if someone asked you that question?
Who cares if he is gay or not?
Alex
2006-08-13 09:41:31 · answer #10 · answered by Osiris2067 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋