I was married 14 byears, I thought all was good. I was 38 she was 27 when she asked to have my baby. I knew I didn't want anymore children. But I gave in. Now we have a beautiful 10yr old daughter. Well my wife hd an affair. They are not together. but she says she is happy and gotten on with life. While I am stuck wondering why did she do it. I will never understand why she wanted she thought she needed an affair. I thought that a marriage was forever and you woulfd work any issues in a marrage out that would benefit the family as a unit. If she wasn't happy. then why didn't she make it clear. I am struggling with all this. Has anyone else been through anything like this?. I think the root was her co-dependency on her MOMMY. Who crries allot of guilt because my ex was sexually abused by her grandfather. What ever my ex asked them for , she always got. GRRRRRRRRR
2006-08-13 09:00:12 · 4 answers · asked by bigblock_475_hp d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Does the why really matter? Does it change anything? Nope it doesn't, so its really irrelevant. People get so hung up on the why and there is really no point to it, whats done is done and knowing why doesn't change a thing. REALLY think about this, imagine that you know the why, then what? Then what you need to do is put this away and move ahead with your life, which is the same thing you need to do without knowing the why. Yes marriage is supposed to be forever, but very often isn't. If you dwell on what happened and what is lost you will never move ahead with your life, you will be stuck there. Obviously she wasn't who you thought she was and she wasn't who you wanted her to be. That has nothing to do with you or who you are really, thats all about her. Now, make a decision to accept what has happened, that doesn't mean you have to like it but it is reality so you have no choice but to accept it. That was yesterday, today is today. You wasted enough time on her don't you think? No more thinking about that, time to think about what you want tomorrow to be not what you hoped yesterday would be. Thats a colossal waste of time and energy isn't it? Learn the lessons there are to be learned, like perhaps seeing people for what they really are and not seeing them based on what you wish they were and get on with your life.
2006-08-13 09:15:10 · answer #1 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that age is supposed to bring about maturity but in some cases age just seems to be a number for some. Suffice it to be so, you cannot continue to beat yourself up trying to figure out what her reasons were. Only she and god know the reason or the motivating factors that led her to go outside of her marriage. People have different perceptions of what marriage is supposed to be and not everyone can articulate what they feel.
Abuse isn't easy to live through, but to say that perhaps that's a reason for her behaviour is more of an excuse than a reason to me. You seem to be a very loving and supportive husband and I don't think that if she had come to you expressing her frustrations within the marriage that her concerns would have fallen on deaf ears. Always remember that people cheat because they want to, the opportunity presents itself and caution goes right out the window. The key in moving foward is to look your best, and be the very best that you can be, and know that life is a circle and what goes around certainly comes around. I do hope that I have been of some help not to mention comfort.
2006-08-13 16:18:20 · answer #2 · answered by spoiltrini 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some peeps have no soul thats why they are like that.her mom sounds like my mom.wash your hands and think god you dont have to put up with her mom much longer.its hard to move on.but youll feel beeter when you do.it worked for your her didnt it?
2006-08-13 16:44:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs help!!!!!!!
2006-08-13 16:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by cowboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋