People of yahoo answers.....?

Question

Amuse me!

Answer 1

Not a problem...
A man went to visit the grave of his dearly-departed-grandfather. Throughout his visit, he continually noticed that a woman, kneeling just a few graves down, was grieving rather loudly. "Why did you have to die?! WHY?!..." Once he had bid his loving grandfather good-bye, he stood for a moment, then decided to approach the crying woman. "Excuse me. I don't mean to bother you, but, I was wondering if there was something I might do to help. I see that you are greatly upset. Was this a child, a parent perhaps, that you've lost? The woman turns to him, wipes at the tears streaming down her face and whispers, "No. It was my husbands first wife."

Answer 2

Do you think My_Opinion_Two wrote that himself? Does he really think he's that clever? He hasn't been around very long if he thinks that is amusing. I'll bet he hasn't heard of Monty Python or Mel Brooks or the Marx Brothers. What's amusing is to simply see what nitwits will do when you pose interesting questions. So, if you want to be amused, come up with something creative and interesting yourself. Waiting around for the rest of us to entertain you is like waiting for a mate to make love to you. You have to be the aggressor. That is how this works.

Example: How many responses did you get to this question? Not many, I'll bet. Less than ten? Go to a question that raises hair on the back of people's necks and you'll see 30, 40 or 50 responses. Like, immigration.That's amusing. Not this!

Answer 3

Brilliant question. I was very amused. You are old, I can tell. Anyway, I will not bother amusing you. Other people did. Silly F$cks!

Answer 4

Two carrots were speeding down the road in a Corvette and had a horrible accident. When the first carrot wakes up in the hospital he asks the doctor, "Doc, am I gonna be all right?" The doctor tells him, "Yes son your going to be OK." Then the first carrot asks him, " But what about my buddy? Is he going to be all right. "Well" says the doctor, "he's going to live but he'll be a vegetable for the rest of his life."

Answer 5

Dude, you have WAY to much time on your hands... Get a hobby, see a movie, go fishing, fly a kite... get some REAL stimulation, it is much superior to virtual living.....I know, a "best answer" is in the toilet..Oh, well......Give me $20,000 so I can buy a new Fatboy, and I will be happy to send you action pics of my adventures.......I promise you , you will be amused.......

Answer 6

The 10 Most Important People in a Woman's Life
1. The doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes"
2. The dentist because he says, "Open Wide"
3. The hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown"
4. The milkman because he says, "Do you want it in the front or in back?"
5. The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it!"
6. The banker because he says,"If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest"
7. The police officer because he says, "Spread 'em"
8. The mailman because he always delivers his package.
9. The pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.
10. The hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.
Additional Details

Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They'll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody's home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.


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Answer 7

You should tell your age so we know what content is appropriate. I have an amusing story. Or atleast I think so.

Answer 8

Here is my sentiate jelly sandwich!!! his name is tire iron!!! (Throws tire iron into the microwave) mmm, grape jelly, the essence of comedy. Just remember that feet are like papayas... injected with mouth wash. They may taste like inspiration, but they are best used for bingo.

Answer 9

you Amuse me...

Answer 10

Amuse yourself...I'm not touching you in your naughty area !!!! I do not swing that way... HAHAHAHHA