My son who is now 3 years old was born with imperforate anus (no rectal opening) he has had 5 surgeries to correct this problem but he still has some issues. Before he was born my husband was very excited when we found out we were having a boy and he had dreams about taking him fishing and playing ball with him but so far three years later he has yet to do anything with him and he is a typical little boy that runs around and plays just fine like any other 3 year old. It just kills me inside that my husband can't take the time and bond with him and throw him a ball or take him to a park and push him on a swing. You should see the way he clings on to other men, like my friends husbands or my brother, that pay attention to him. I don't know what to do. Please help!
2006-08-13 08:21:45 · 4 answers · asked by mom_2scotty 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
your husband have a very high expectation before your son were born. but he can't deal with the reality that your son was born with imperforate anus. however he still stay in the marriage, facing the 5 surgeies. and dealing with the remaining issue it seems only your son have physicial problems but the fact is everyone in the family have to deal with it. your husband was so scare and frighten by the thought that he will lose his family because of it. and how little he can do to save it. therefore now when he look at this little boy it just remain him of all the event that he been throught
even throught your son gets better now. family still together but your husband is still angry at your son for what have happen in the pass 3 years.
tell your husband that is it nobody's fault that it happens the important thing is it already passed, and your family still together. take your family to see consellors, or read some self-help books that related to post tramatic event victim.
i hope that can help you out.
2006-08-13 09:16:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like your hubby is scared that if he bonds with this child something could happen to him and he thinks he is protecting himself. Many parents have a hard time dealing with the fact that their child isn't perfect as they were expecting. I think you need to sit down with your husband and explain to him in small words that your son is fine and can enjoy all the plans he made for him before he was born and that you think he needs to talk to someone.
2006-08-13 08:31:03 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would begin by getting Dad into the activities with you and the son, on the floor playing duck duck goose, or something like that. He will break soon enough. Good luck.
2006-08-13 09:07:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Martha S.
2006-08-13 08:44:14 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋