how can a dad get costudy of his son?

Question

about 2 months ago my now ex-girlfriend took our 2 children to see her family for a week, we where living in new hampshire and her parents where in vt. she called the day she was supposed to be home and said she wasn't coming back. i had to move out that day because my name wasn't on the lease so i had to move to maine. we had joint custody of our son who is 2, our duaghter is 6 and not bio mine, so i know there is nothing i can do about her ( and i hate it) she has never known her dad, she is the product of a rape. i haven't been allowed to see them and their mother is allready having them call the guy she ran off to "daddy", and she has let him sleep in the same bed as them. i have a lawyer in vt and he told me i have no leagel right to my son in vt, even thow i am his dad and had 50/50 custody. what do i need to do to get my son back, what does a father have to do, i know go to court but how do i have to look in court what do i need to do out side of there to get him back help me.

i never hit her, or the kids, our daugther is autistic so dhs was allways in our lives, i have proof i never did anything like that, i am a good father, there mother just met some one online and left me for him, she wanted to have a fairy tale life with this man, who has a violent crimanal record of asalt, and abuse of 4 of his last girlfriends.
she is living with her parents and new boyfriend so i am not allowed to see the kids till she gets her own place, with the new boyfriend, and he has said she cannot talk to me, so its been 3 weeks since i have had contact with the kids at all. i have called the police and they say that even though i had 50/50 costudy in nh i lost it the second she left the sate so kidnapping is a no go

Answer 1

She cannot file for custody of the kids in Vermont until they have been legal residents of the state for at least 6 months! This is the law in all 50 states! It's part of the "Uniform Child Custody" compact that all states must follow.

You need to file paperwork in your old county in New Hampshire AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! You do not want to let her get custody of your son in Vermont, or all legal procedings dealing with him will have to be done there in the future. She will be at an advantage if she does this.

It sounds like you already had a child custody plan in place in NH, since you had 50/50 custody. If this is true, there might be something in your custody paperwork about neither parent being able to move the child without proper notification of the other parent. READ THE PAPERWORK, and see is there is anything in there. If so, file contempt charges in the original court to get your son back.

If there is no legal custody agreement in place, file in NH right now to get custody.

Answer 2

You need to go to a VT family lawyer and take her back to family court to change the custody arrangement if you had an actual legal agreement re custody & visitation. P R & R. Depending on when you do it, if she hasn't been in VT very long you maybe abke to do this in your home state.
If you had some kind of verbal informal agreement with her you will have to prove you are the bio father too when you go to court. They will decide physical and legal responsibilty
The legal advice you got over the phone was correct. If you call the police there and report her as kidnapping the child, you could be charged with harrassment by her. There is nothing else you can do right now. How she left you, how long you were together, who she lives with now, co-sleeping, etc.. is not going to matter anyway and is only hearsy.
If this is a 2 yr old child and you go to court to try to gain primary custody be prepared to lose your joint custody agreement you have right now and get socked with child support plus you will pay a lawyer by pursuing this too. How to make yourself look good in court- a stable job with regular income and proof that you have been providing support in the past. You will need a decent furnished place to live and it would help if you are respected in the community you live in. You will need personal references of people like supervisor at work, Pastor of Church, a teacher (maybe the older childs school principal from last year) who are willing to swear you are an active loving parent and have been emotionally and financially responsible. The idea is to focus on making you look good, not waste your energy trashing her. She was good enough to be your babies mama and the judge will throw that in your face if you try to bring her down in court. Honestly they are more likely to be sympathetic to her and then you will look bad.

Answer 3

Dude this is straight up kidnapping. She has no right to keep your kid away from you anymore than you have. This is a kidnapping case and charges should be brought onto her. Go to the police. It is a kidnapping. Doesn't matter what the state is either. This is a kidnapping. Just hope you don't have any fuel that gave her the reason to leave. I have custody of all 3 of my girls so it is not impossible. I would file this as a kidnapping. She has little legal right to take the kid across state lines without going to court for it. At least that is how it is here. I have a job offer in another state and I have to give my ex a 60 notice of my "intent" to move out of state and it may still be rejected. THIS IS KIDNAPPING. There is a general direction that I am going here. It is a shame that all the crap that the legal system has place on the child should be with the mother, but I am seeing that they are no better than we are at parenting. Oh ya just in case you didn't get the message....THIS IS KIDNAPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

If you have court ordered joint custody of your son with 50/50 visitation then if she fails to return him to you at the set time she can be charged with parental kidnapping. Police will try to tell you all kinds of things and say it is a civil matter to call your lawyer but this is bull they have to follow a court order whether they want to or not. First I would call teh police and tell them I wanted to file kidnapping charges and if they give you any flack then first thing Monday be at the Prosecuting attorneys office. Make sure to have your custody order handy to show them. Next get with an attorney and file for sole custody of your son. If you do this while she is in non compliance with the current order it will go more for your benefit. It is going to be a hard road but hang in there. Be prepared for home studies, character checks, your entire life will be put on display and you will get mad more than once but don't give up this child needs you. I am a mother and I would never do this to one of my children as they need their father as much as they need me. Having them call another man daddy and shutting you out of their lives is a form of emotional abuse and it needs to stop. Good luck.

Answer 5

well you will need alot of money,my question is were you ever mean to her physically,and do you have sign documets from a court saying you have joint custody,if so you can just go get him ,however you need to make sure,also you should know that is his mom you should try to be nice about whatever you do ,check the laws there to see if she has to be married to have a man stay in her house past midnite.there so much you need to research before you do anything and know if you dont go about it in the right way you could cause severe coniquences,good luck ,

Answer 6

well first get a new lawyer asap as you wernt married then you have no rights but you can fight it and get your kid for a day or however many days they let you don't give up .
the child is your s so you always have a chance i think it it really bad that mums can just up and go with the kids and not let there father see them they are just hurting the kids
good luck

Answer 7

There is a site where you can chat live with an attorney http://www.lawyers.com/ plus they have this search on the site to find someone to help you in your town ( city ).

If you cannot afford an attorney call your local legal aid and they will give you a number of a Pro-Bone-O Lawyer free of charge from your state. Its works.

Answer 8

Be strong and pray.