Is the nature of being gay born within or does it come due to circumstances?

Question

i am attracted when i see a handsome and big guy and want to have sex with him...ive discovered that when this happens if i m not able to have sex with him i ejaculate and the feeling is gone..it comes in again next time i see someone like that or the same guy...am i abnormal - gay - im 28yrs married and also have a kid....its not that im not interested in sex with females its the attraction that hasnt gone fm me even after getting married....this feeling started right fm the time i was in high school...Do you have a solution or answer as to how its happened...no spiritualism pllzzz...

Answer 1

Sexual development begins at conception and continues on even to middle age. Homosexuality is not a gene thing and nobody is born homosexual,, but there are conditions that are called 'predispositions', like low testosterone or high estrogen levels in a boy, which might affect him in that he might not be very aggressive and enjoy aggressive games, and his body may have a bit more fat than most males. but this doesn't result in homosexuality. It may be, however, that environmental things, like if his father is macho and rejects him for being 'a sissy' and the other boys reject him so that he is stuck being with females all the time. This leaves a hole in his heart for male bonding, which may become eroticized later on. Another condition is if a boy is raped by another male, and the father is physically or emotionally absent,, the boy may act this out again and again. Most males with homosexual inclinations, whether exclusively or not, lack good relationships with their fathers, and I'll bet there has been something missing in your relationship with your father also. It is often said, that, a situation such as yours comes from some kind of feelings of inadequacy on your part that this big guy seems to have and that you want to incorporate, and this is expressed sexually. I'm not sure but I offer this possibility to you.
When we are born, we are all born being bisexual, with a sexuality that is not focussed, and as we develop it becomes more and more focussed. Well, sometimes it doesn't focus and some people remain bisexual, after all, with the eyes closed we can't tell one tongue from another, or one finger from another. Much of the choice of sexual partner is about the person whose tongue it is, or finger it is, and that is conditioned. There is no gene that makes us prefer blondes, or thin ones, or strong ones, or ones of the same sex, or children. It comes from the evolution of our life's experiences.
The possibilities of change are better for young people with high motivation and little actual experience,, than for older people with a lot of sexual experience that has become habitual, and who are not motivated to change.
If you are interested, I'll add some books and links,,, but you put a limit to answers on your question, so, for now, I'll leave it right here, and add it to my 'watch list'.

Answer 2

I do think it helps if you can remember the incident that influenced you to become sexually attracted to a males organ. I will give you an example, but i am not saying this happened to you.

My brother was 4, he was molested by a 12 year old. He was told to do oral sex on the older boy. At 4 my brother did not know about molestation, he did not perceive it as wrong. Maybe different but not wrong at first. One day he came to me and told me what was happening. He was still just 4. I was older and knew it was not the proper thing for children to do or experience issues of these matters. I told my mother and she put a stop to the molestation. She never brought it up again, and neither did anyone else.

Point is we all forgot this even happened, including my brother. As he grew he had formed sexual attractions on females as he was taught through circumstances around him. He was quote, 'normal'. Yet he had an issue that ate away at him for years, it caused him much strife. He found he was attracted to the male organ, yet he was not gay. He knew he was not gay. He had much disgust for males and himself because this. He was in his 30's before i told him he was molested at 4 and he had forgotten this, and he did not know it was wrong until afterwords.

Well i think you get the point. he was influenced, then blocked it out or forgot it, but the influence had a lasting effect on him. it took several years for him to work through this issue, and he is not through it yet 5 years later.

You are not born gay. i am gay and thought i was born gay to, until i remembered when i was influenced after role playing and I forgot about the incident yet the memory along with other circumstances, i have a gender dysphoria, i believed i was born gay. Just added that because i do not want anyone saying i am prejudice because i am not.

Answer 3

I'd say you're bisexual. A person can be born bi as well as gay, it's the same way straight people are born straight so it's all good and you're not abnormal. If the attraction to women and your wife are gone completely then you are probably gay.

Answer 4

I think there are an awful lot of people, who get married and have kids, or even just date the same sex, even though they had feeling for both sexes. Sometimes it could just be a sexual fantasy that you don't want to fulfill. I think that's pretty normal.

Answer 5

I would guess you are bisexual. and I firmly believe we are born the way we are. lots of people seem to think there must be circumstances or some kind of influences when we're young that "turn" us gay/bisexual. no such thing happened in my life...no molestation/rape, I had straight parents, knew no one gay/lesbian growing up, never even met anyone openly gay until after I realized I was lesbian....so, that blows that "Bible-thumper" theory.. I am who I am because I've always been...

Answer 6

Well, you are either a closeted gay man or a bisexual man. Either way, it is almost certain that your attraction to men has genetic origins, although circumstances may play some role in whether and how you respond to your predilection.

Answer 7

It is generally born within, but the vast majority of us grow up srrounded by heterosexuality, so that is what we learn. In order to reach our true sexuality, we grow.

Answer 8

you might be bisexual. Most people in fact are bisexual to some degree. Homosexuality and heterosexuality are just the "extremes" of the spectrum

Answer 9

when your a tennager you start to have questions aout your sexuality so just relax and see what happnes then.

Answer 10

Well you could meet me and I will help you through this.