2006-08-13 06:49:47 · 37 answers · asked by tedrules 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've met his wife and child..they are horrible to him
2006-08-13 06:54:21 · update #1
and we work together
2006-08-13 06:56:04 · update #2
You have two options, The first is if your heart rules your head, while the second is if your head rules your heart.
One option is to enjoy life as it comes, without worrying about where this will lead to. Since you love him, enjoy being together, live each day to the hilt and never mind what the world says or tongues wag (But remember at the back of your mind that, in all probability, the married guy is out to have some fun and will continue to maintain his family life with his spouse and child). Well, so long the two of you enjoy each other - carry on! It can last a lifetime or it may end once one of you gets over the obsession of the other !!
The second option is the practical one - either he gives up his wife and accepts you openly in society as his life partner, maybe not immdtly but in a month or two. If he doesn't, he cannot give you a future you can be proud of. In that case, stay away from him and don't respond to his approaches, soon he'll cool off and go in search of someone more easily available for his lustful ways...
2006-08-13 06:58:20 · answer #1 · answered by young_friend 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you really have to just stop - if anything happened, he would cheat on you - you would never have 100% of his heart, soul, or mind.
being the other woman may feel intriuging and like a turn on but that gets old quick and you will always feel empty inside knowing it was the wrong thing to do.
If it was you as his wife and there was some other woman feeling the way you feel, you wouldn't feel too good when you found out - and - it always comes out one way or another in the end. Just try to meet some other guys - get out there so you can get your mind off of him - he's off the market. If he ever leaves his wife, that is different but right now, no matter what - it wouldn't work, the sexs isn't worth it - women need the emotional part of a relationship too and that would never be there. You would resent him in the long run and probably feel bad about yourself for a long long time - if not forever.
I know it's hard but try to move on and the best way to do that is to get someone else -be interested in someone else and date. Plus - if this is an obsession, it is not really about him - cause liking someone shouldn't be an obsession so it may really be about wanting something you can't have or the "thrill in it" - the rush - I think that is why you are obsessed - not so much because of him. Maybe him cheating on his wife in your mind, makes you feel really desired, sexy and important but you should feel that way anyway - not just because of that.
2006-08-13 06:56:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that you don't just feel sorry for him because he is treated so badly by his wife and child? If he is treated so bad by them, why don't he get a divorce from her. Most always a man can make it fine when he gets a divorce unlike a woman. Until he gets a divorce from her, you need to stay away from him. How would you like it if you was married to a man and another woman was hot on his trail?I know I sure wouldn't like it.Like the old saying goes, (in most cases) there is no future in loving a married man. Any way you want to look at it, it is wrong for you to be seeing him at all, unless the ONLY time that you are around him is when his family is there with you and him.If you see him without his family, he is cheating on his wife. Even if they are mean to him, that is no excuse for him to cheat on her.
2006-08-13 09:19:05 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears that this obsession is unhealthy or not reciprocated, not sure, but the best way is to put yourself in the wife's shoe. If it is a situation where the marriage is breaking down or irreparable, give it the room to decay, don't be the one to interfere or prevent something that can be restored. If he wants you, he'll come get you and that's how you should be got. Occupy yourself-stay on Yahoo Answers all day :-), be strong and don't be a temporary distraction to him, if it is serious, trust me, it will persevere and you'll be with him, but not this way! You have more worth than being a concubine. If it's the sex you're going to miss (if there is any) then you may want to consider just what is it you're feeling. Good fortitude!
2006-08-13 06:58:50 · answer #4 · answered by mouthahmassy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By reminding yourself that he is married and therefore unavailable, and focusing on something else.
Stop seeing him. Stop talking to him. And if he asks why, tell him "Because you're married and you're unavailable." And if he says that he's available to you, you know he's a scumbucket who would cheat on his wife and you shouldn't want someone like that, anyway.
Let's say that he did divorce his wife (which doesn't usually happen - usually he SAYS he's getting divorced but somehow it keeps getting delayed and delayed and delayed, while he's getting laid on the side by the mistress who's stupidly hanging on in the hopes that "One day we'll be together"), and married you. What are the odds that he wouldn't then turn around and do the EXACT same thing to you? Very low. (Yes, it happens that the "mistress" can become the "wife" and that's the end of it, but it's rare).
So quit thinking about him and go find someone who's physically and emotionally available for you.
2006-08-13 06:54:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are treading dangerous waters.. stay away from him. You didn't say where you met him or anything, like does he work with you? You need to find ways to avoid contact. Keep in mind, very few married men will leave their wife, no matter what they tell you. Let it alone, that is a major heartache waiting to happen. Your obsession will go away in a little time. Try to focus on meeting new people.
2006-08-13 06:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by tootsie45414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize he is using you and he will never leave his wife for you no matter how many promises he makes to you! Don't you want a man who is ALL yours? Why would you want to share a man? Move on and get into a constructive relationship! This man is just using you. You can do better! Sure you will miss him but you have to go through a grieving process. Grieving the loss of him and the relationship. After you go through this you will feel better.
2006-08-13 06:54:50 · answer #7 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, a married man is like a forbidden fruit so don't attempt to pluck or taste it.. Admiration is fine but not obsession.. no matter what, married ppl will still go back to their families at the end of the day coz that's where their obligations are and not you..take care!
2006-08-13 06:57:47 · answer #8 · answered by azhen_msia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find another guy that shares the same attractive qualities that the married man possesses. This time, make sure the guy is single...
Never, ever go after a married man. Remember, if he's willing to cheat on his wife with you, then what makes you think he won't cheat on you with another woman? If he cheats once, he can easily cheat again.
2006-08-13 06:53:52 · answer #9 · answered by Natasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First...if it´s an obsession is not love!
Second...you are going to destroy a family (eveb if they dont have kids) ..dont do it...there´s a lot of single guys outthere trying to find a good girl...if you want to be the second or the affair i his life go ahead if you think you deserve better then leave him
never do what you wouldnt like someone do to you...
so if you try having a relationship with him maybe in the future he´s gonna leave you for another girl...
2006-08-13 06:54:14 · answer #10 · answered by miliscal123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋