My 18 yr old daughter has recently made the decision to move in with her boyfriend...?

Question

She is only starting her senior year in high school. In order for them to afford this apartment, she will be working two jobs, one during school hours at the school and one after school. He will be working one job. He is a high school drop-out, I don't think it will work, I am afraid she will drop out of high school as well. I don't approve of the whole situation, do I tell her?

Answer 1

FIrst of all, as a parent myself, I understand! The thing you need to do is simple, simply be there for your daughter and you'll have to let her make her own mistakes and be there to catch her when/if she falls. I know it's easier said than done, however the more we back up, the faster they realize that we are just trying to help them through life as best we can and with as least stress as possible. Goodluck and God Bless

Answer 2

She is 18 so you can't stop her from moving out. I would talk to her in a nice way and tell her what you think. You also, have to support her and understand that she wants to experience life now. At least she didn't bring him in to live with you guys...that would of been worse. She seems like a responsible girl - Im sure she will be ok. Her boyfriend is a high school drop out like you say - BUT at least he has a job and isn't sitting on his *** all day. Give him/them a chance.. if it don't work out, she will learn from her mistakes.

Answer 3

of course as a mother i think you should make your concerns known to her, she is your daughter afterall. but, don't try and stop her, in my expirience it only makes teenagers want to do it more, just to prove you wrong. let her go about her course and live with him. let her know that you'll be there for her if things don't work out.
i dropped out of high school when i was 16, i'm now 19 and back in school. i realised within a year that i shouldn't have dropped out. not so many realise that. if she is so close to graduating, she may stick it out. otherwise, if she mentions it at all, completely tell her your feelings on it. how bad the economy is today, you need a 4 yr college education to be in middle class now.
best wishes!

Answer 4

let her know that you don't approve but remember it is her final decision. And if she does drop-out, she is able to take the remaining course on online school, or at night school. No one ever said that it wasn't possible to get their diploma after dropping out, people just assume that they can't so thats the common assumption and a lot of people never gfet there diploma.And thats another thing even if she drops-out, even if he relationship with her boyfriend goes wrong, your still her mother, and hopefully you will be there to help if she asks you for the hand up after she falls. Don't abandon her, she needs you, needs some of your wisedom, needs your experience and your love to make it through life, thats why you became a mother...
Good luck and take care

Answer 5

are you able to declare statutory rape? The age of consent in Texas is 17 {Texas Penal Code section 21.11}. even nevertheless , "...that's an affirmative protection to prosecution under this section that the actor...replaced into no greater advantageous than 3 years older than the sufferer and of the alternative intercourse...(and) did no longer use duress, rigidity, or a risk against the sufferer on the time of the offence" and is no longer a registered intercourse criminal {section 21.11(b)}. section 21.12 greater advantageous prohibits all sexual touch between an worker of a school (alongside with educators)and a student enrolled on the generic or secondary college the place mentioned worker works. No age is laid out in utilising the statute (consequently, whether the student has reached consent age of 17, it continues to be a contravention), and violations are a 2d degree criminal. ''no longer all boys are heartless, intercourse-finding jerks ou be conscious of. an excellent sort of them ought to comparable perspectives i do approximately intimacy.'' yeah and age 15 you be conscious of each and every thing approximately adult men. All i be conscious of is, that as quickly as i replaced into 18, i replaced into no longer finding for a highschool lady to this element, i replaced into finding forward to varsity and began relationship the lady who's now my fiancee. So when I hear approximately an 18 year old new child intrested in a fifteen year old, all I see is him desiring intercourse.

Answer 6

i think that its best she complete school first and then get nice job then take more time to decide, cuz moving out on ur own is a huge step, and she needs to study and get to know her boyfriend before she takes such a big step its hard enough to be an adult and get married and move in with ur husband, i think she should wait and be patient for a while thats my opinion, she is young and in mature yet and all she see is being with her boyfreind not giving any thought??, when she plays house with her boyfriend for a while cuz thats all it is ,... is just playin house, she may see a new atitude in her boyfriend that she never knew he had may be he have some nasty ways she wont like, that could cause a fight between them, and then there she comes back home to get comfort from her mother ,cuz she never new her boyfriend had such harsh atitude, i been in that situtation before, thats how i know i did not listen to my mother, at 20 and got caught up in a bad relationship with my boyfriend, so just tell her to wait and learn him better cuz i know she dont know his perosnality 100% yet dating each other is fun and excited, cuz u dont know that person fully, but once they move in together the real him will come out i promise it always happens.. i hope this helped good luck..
any thought to anything thing esle, so ur her mother, and i know u love her, u should take over and be firm and just say no..

Answer 7

I think you need to calmly talk to her. I know when they're 18 - they think they know everything and what's best for them. I don't know what type of relationship the two of you have right now, but I hope it's one where she will at least listen to you. Put it down on paper for her when you talk - and then too - just ask her to wait at least until she's finished high school before moving out with this guy. Time has a way of "showing" you things.

Answer 8

I think it is a good sign that they are taking responsibility for their own living expenses and not, for example, burdening you with it. However, I would be very concerned that they are doing this without making a lifetime commitment beforehand.

I mean, I would assume that they are not going to sleep in separate beds when they move in together. And a sexual relationship is by nature close enough that it is not meant to be broken. Millions of people who don't think about consequences, before they take the plunge, find out the hard way down the road, when that third party appears or that breakup occurs, that things like this are just not supposed to happen.

Permanent relationships do not happen by chance: they require a hard and fast decision to focus on doing what has to be done to make the relationship good and lasting. In this way, we spare ourselves a lot of trouble and temptation. Of course, we can't control our partner's behavior, but at least if we have done our part, but they nonetheless fink out on us, we have a clear conscience.

So I think your daughter needs to reconsider what she's doing for reasons having nothing to do with her schooling. Although that having been said, she needs to understand that this relationship she wants to undertake will have an effect on many parts of her life which are not directly related to her interactions with her boyfriend. So by all means encourage her to think about the impact it will have on *all* aspects of her life, if she has not already done so.

If your daughter, after talking with you about this, decides that this is the guy she wants to spend her life with, she feels that he is the right person with whom to create a lasting relationship, and goes ahead and marries the guy, take comfort in this: apparently at least at university level, when students get married, their grades usually go up, because being married teaches them responsibility. So it may make her a better student and - who knows - contribute to his finishing high school.

So, to sum up, I would pursue a discussion with your daughter along two lines: the closeness of the sexual bond, and the effects of this relationship on *all* aspects of life. Find out in what measure she has thought about these things rather than making a priori assumptions.

Hope this helps - may God bless you!

Answer 9

I would tell her how you feel,no doubt!
Sounds like she is responsible to be working
2 jobs.Yet she may end up dropping out and
that fear that.Well,tell her how you feel about it
and ask her to continue on with her school as well.
It does sound like this relationship won't work out
long term.Just be supportive and encourage her
to do what she needs to do.That is all you can
really do is just be there for her in the long run.

Answer 10

Yes. Tell her that you are happy for her half-heartedly and then tell her all of the bad situations that can occur with a concerned and loving attitude. Remember when talking to her to avoid an arguement. Feeling loved will keep a teenager home, an arguement will make her want to leave.