why is fine that miserable with a addict?

Question

i am amrried to a addict but after his relaps last years life is not that good .Still he is in recovery but it seems like all my dreams have not come i know i should not expect from him but sometime i want him to love me care for me but i am not getting all these why and how can i get it from are these things not important in life or what

Answer 1

get out of the relationship and get counseling.

Answer 2

Many marriages have a difficult time during recovery. Everything is changing. Honestly, many do not survive.

Is there an Al Anon group you can attend? There are groups in all cities and most small towns. Al Anon is for the loved ones of alcoholics (drunk OR sober), but the principles can help you, too. Perhaps NA has a similar group for families, but if not, go to Al Anon. I think it might change your life. It has certainly saved many marriages.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I have sympathy for you.

Yes, you should have "all these" things.

Yes, your husband is chemically dependent and his brain focuses on that and therefore does not meet many of your needs.

What do you do in this apparent "no win" situation? Well, this is not advice you are going to hear often, but I think you should separate the people from the interests.

If clearly his patterns and addictions show no reasonable hope of change, it is not fair to you to "do without" the rest of your life. I'm not suggesting you abandon him, but to be fair to yourself and everyone else, you should seek healthy companionship from more than one "addicter person" source.

Develop friendships. Double the re-hab and interventive efforts. Define your needs and timelines. And if change doesn't occur after all that progressive process, then continue to support him and be available for him, but ALSO seek what you want from other sources.