I've been with my Girlfriend for a 2 years now a I love her so much but there's a problem....lately I find it hard to get aroused sexually when she wants to get intimate. The problem is that I am the kind of guy who likes to try a whole lot different things sexually but not her and I guess I grew tired of the missionairy position kinda sex. I don't ever want to cheat on her 'cause she's the love of my life but what should I do?
2006-08-13 02:54:42 · 15 answers · asked by LowRider27 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
You need a sex therapist.
2006-08-13 03:01:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go buy some books on different sexual positions. Joy of Sex, Kama Sutra, etc. You can get them online, through book clubs (Double Day, Literary Guild) or even at your local Barnes and Noble (or other large chain bookstore). At B & N, you have the benefit of looking through it before buying.
Maybe she doesn't want to try anything different because she doesn't know how .... or is embarassed that she will do it "wrong".
If she's open to it, get some good erotica, aka porn. Stay away from the cheesy stuff. Andrew Blake is a European director that has some classy stuff -- but sometimes it's mostly girl alone or girl / girl or fetish. Just read the descriptions of the videos.
Have a heart to heart talk with her. If you truly love her, don't ever cheat ..... relationships are based on trust and once that is gone, the relationship is done.
2006-08-13 10:09:01 · answer #2 · answered by Wisdomwoman 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to talk to her about this! And DO NOT do this in the bedroom! My hubby of 12 years wanted to try some things different and he approached me right before we were about to do it and I was totally offended! I thought I was not good enough for him no more! And the mood was completely obliverated! Take her out to dinner and then to the movies and then go home and watch some movies. At that time when your both comfortable bring the subject up! Ask her for her opinion! Let her tell you what she wants and follow through. Do not push what you want on her! Start small like wearing lingerie and dancing for you! And move up the ladder to more elaborate things like role playing! Take your time with this cause some women were brought up to think only nasty girls do this kind of stuff, like I was. It took my hubby and I 3 years before I felt comfortable with different things in the bedroom. AND.......once you have children, she will convert back to the old missionary standards! PLEASE let her try what she wants to do first! Even if it's just dancing for you fully clothed! Good Luck!
2006-08-13 10:07:45 · answer #3 · answered by colleen3273 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, cheating should never be a option. You say you love this lady, so take it from one who knows, never let cheating enter your mind. If you feel the need to discuss this, confront your lady and let her know your feelings. You two will work this out in time. I agree that intimancy does decline at times, but the love is as strong as ever, and it never gets old. I have been married 33 yrs and the fire is still burning strong in my life.
2006-08-13 10:27:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously Talk to her about it if she loves you she will understand and try to make you more aroused, when your in love that is the tender close time a couple shares. And the fact that you only want to share your fantasies with her is wonderful I hope she appreciates you. Good Luck and its nice to hear a man say he cares and isn't going to just throw your love away and cheat on her. Thumbs up to you.
2006-08-13 10:07:10 · answer #5 · answered by g-day mate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay yea this is serious. however, i believe that if you sat down and talked to her about this she would bend a little because all women deep down inside want ot please thier man, but she cant if you dont tell her what you like and vice versa. if both of you agree that you love each other that much, thentalkin should be easy. you have to do it in a gentle way. maybe bring something new home or sneak in a new position and spark a reaction that would lead to a discussion. she may have a side she never knew about. it just has to be brought out sometimes.
2006-08-13 10:03:57 · answer #6 · answered by shay80800 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and let her understand how you feel about what is going on in your head cos the backbone of a relationship is communication and you communicate what you want and what needs to be considered then done that is what is best to do and good that you have made up your mind on not cheating on her cos once a good girl gone bad she is gone forever
2006-08-13 10:03:39 · answer #7 · answered by Yeahbabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to her, and explain to her that you love her and you want spent the rest of your life with her. And that you would like to try new things with her when you guys are having sex ,so your relationship could be even better.
I wish you good luck!! and you seem a nice guy
2006-08-16 01:09:31 · answer #8 · answered by Paris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her politely that you would like to change the positions. There are other ways in having sex than the missionary. I agree the man being on top is boring, I need to some fun myself, like me being in charge, in how I want it.
2006-08-13 10:18:48 · answer #9 · answered by Moose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only solution is to talk to your gf about this. Try to suggest something different to spice up the bedroom antics but remember to stress the point that it is not her or anything she has done. Get her to talk about her fantasies and such.. the more open she feels the more fun it'll be.
2006-08-13 10:02:50 · answer #10 · answered by Sorcha 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talking with your partner calmly (no fighting). Explain your problem and see if she is willing to try new things to spice things up a bit. Fighting with her about it will only make her more self conscious about the problem.
2006-08-13 10:04:19 · answer #11 · answered by gypsywife2b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋