we are judged by the company we keep: fair or unfair? why?

Question

we should not be judged by the clothes we wear. (yet clothes make the man)
we may be judged by the beliefs we hold. (we hold them to be self-evident, or we wear them every sunday)
we are almost always judged by the company we keep. fair or not?

extra credit: between the 3, why the difference? is there a difference?

Answer 1

Yes, it is absolutely fair to be judged by the company we keep. Who we decide to spend our time with is entirely voluntary (assuming one isn't incarcerated or some such thing) and is thus a reflection of who we are as people. For example, if I elect to socialize with hateful people who attack and abuse others, it is only right and proper for the perception to be that I must share the same attitudes (i.e., guilt by association). Conversely, if I only socialize with good-hearted, nonjudgmental people who treat others with respect, I am rightly perceived as a nice person. It really is that simple.

Being judged by the clothes we wear is another matter entirely. Economic factors can play an enormous role in how a person dresses. It is decidedly not as simple as making a conscious choice, whereas the people we choose to fraternize with clearly is. Clothing does NOT make the man, except perhaps to the supremely superficial amongst us. Mind you, let us not confuse actual attire with good hygiene and a neat appearance, as the latter two clearly are not so directly influenced by one's income.

As for being judged by our beliefs, this falls under the category of religious tolerance (I assume you were referring to faith, no?). It's a whole different animal and a very dicey one at that. Most of us have been preached to from an early age about the importance of being tolerant of others' faith, ethnicity, race, culture, etc. It is part of living in a diverse and civilized society. So making judgments based on such factors is generally viewed as negative, even bigoted.

On the other hand, what you believe does clearly help to define the person you are (much more so than how you dress). It is a conscious choice you're making, whether to believe or not believe, what faith to subscribe to, how to worship, etc. But as for making value judgments about a person based on this, again, this is like walking through a mine field. Even the phrasing of your question could be taken to imply your having made a judgment. You refer to wearing our beliefs "every Sunday," when in fact only Christians observe the sabbath or holy day as being on Sunday. For Jewish people, Saturday is their holy day; for Muslims, it's Friday. See what I mean, Patz? Dangerous terrain there, my friend...

In answer to your final question, I hope my answers above have delineated the differences between the three. In quick summation, I would say that being judged by the company we keep is 100% justified because it accurately reflects who and what we are and what we value in other people. Being judged by how we dress is superficial and makes no allowance for financial and other factors (some people's faith plays a significant role in how they are permitted to dress, for example). Being judged by our faith (or lack of same) speaks to the issue of tolerance and free choice. The three are all quite different and should be treated accordingly.

Answer 2

For me, the difference resides in the person's ability to choose. If we cannot choose the clothes we wear (which might well be the case) or the company we keep (which, unfortunately, might also be the case), why should we be judged by them?

I don't judge people by their clothes, but I can read messages in them. Whether they've been chosen voluntarily or not, they make statements about the person's character, mood, even their financial position, of course. Some outfits seem to scream "Go away", while others say "Look at me!" and yet others say "Pretend I'm not here, please, I want to be invisible".

I guess it's the same with the company one keeps. Even the inability to shake off certain 'undesirable' people is showing something, and the deliberate choice of "bad company" sends a strong message. We choose and are chosen on the basis of the signals we send, and that choice itself is a message to third parties. At the same time, the perception of this third party is just that, a perception.

I guess I do assess a person by his/her company, but assessing is not the same as judging. I wouldn't want to pass a wonderful person by because I don't like the company they keep. At the same time, I realize that these ideas of mine do not always work in practice, but I try to prevent myself from judging too fast on the basis of any external feature (and I'm considering that "company" is part of the extended phenotype, although I'm probably making this up as I write).

Extra credit: if there is a difference, perhaps it's related with the accuracy of each of these elements as indicators of the way we are. Clothes are not good at all; they may speak of what we do for a living or how we do it, but not about the way we are. Beliefs are, more or less explicitly, an integral part of each person; but a certain "belief" or "faith" label cannot define the person. Company is formed partly by choice, partly by life happening around us; I'd say it's an indicator, but not the basis for a verdict.
In a nutshell, I don't know.

Answer 3

in situation where our clothes make a difference,,yes,clothes do make the man,,say a job interview,,its shows a level of understanding for the job we apply and the effort to make the most of what we have,,,,friends and the like,,we are judged by those we associate with,our friends tell us when we are good,bad ugly and downright stupid,,we need them to give us a fair chance at a good life,if your friends are seen to be of good character it shows we are too,,,beliefs,,i think we shouldnt be judged on them but i also think the small minded of those among us do just this.

Answer 4

considering that we are but mere mortals we should not be judging at all, but it is part of the human nature to do so. as for clothing (or lack there of), if you see a man in a store in june wearing a trench coat, you judge him to be bad. if you see a 14yo gir in a local park with a bunch of boys and she is wearing a shirt that is way too short and shorts that say "sexy" across the tail end, you consider her to be trash. that also leads to a judgement of the parents ability to raise said child. yes we should all be free to wear what we prefer, but if you are going to dress like a street walker, dont question why you got raped. you got raped because someone judged you to be an easy target. would you trust an investment broker or a doctor who dressed like a gangster rapper? no. our beliefs should not be judged. we all need something to believe in. believeing you will have another beer doesnt count. who are we to say which faith is correct, or if any of them are correct. the company we keep shows who we are and what moral character we have. if all of your friends are druggies then it stands to reason that you would be judged to be one, whether you are or not is irrelevant. if you dont wish to be percieved as such, dont hang out with them. because of the way society views racial differences i dont go out in public with my male friends who are afro-american. luckily they all understand my position on it. when a white woman is seen in public with a black man the woman is instantly judged to be easy, trashy, ___ (insert your slur here). its part of society, there is nothing that is going to change that because of the human nature proclivity to judge everyone and everything.

ex credit: there is no difference. judging is judging. as humans it is not our place to have the power to judge, thats Gods job or whatever higher power you subscribe to. will it ever stop? not in our lifetime unless the end of times gets here. now how many of you out there are offended by what ive said? dont judge me...see! you can even judge someone on what they say.

Answer 5

The choices you make determine the life that you live.

Answer 6

Unfair...no one should judge,least they be judged!!!