My 13 year old son is addicted to porn and sex. what do i do?

Question

he is 13 and he had porn magazines, watches porn movies, and looks at porn online.

Answer 1

You discipline him.

Answer 2

I wonder now if you will even get to this after that bloated and irrelevant religious post. However ...

I doubt he has any kind of addiction. I guess he would be in 8th grade. I was talking about sex with my friends when I was in 5th grade so that doesn't seem unusual. I had pictures of naked women and a few of my friends had already had sex. I can give you the right answer but it probably isn't what you are looking for.

First of all, do not freak out or act like he is some kind of pervert or is bad. What you really should do is make sure that he has proper information. For example, sexual relationships in magazines and movies and on the internet are often distorted. You should get him proper couples teaching materials that show sex in a loving, caring, and committed fashion. There are videos like these. You can find some here: http://www.lovingsex.com

Also, make sure that he has information about pregnancy and STD's. You might need to get a college textbook like I had in the course, Human Sexuality and Sexual Responsibility in college. Perhaps something like this: http://connection.lww.com/specialtyarea.asp?area=4

It is co-authored by Dr. Ruth Westheimer

Above all, do not try to snow him with some kind of pseudo-sexual teaching materials as religious groups often use. These materials essentially try to discourage anything to do with sex and they won't get you anywhere.

You want to provide him with proper information. He obviously already knows about sex so you can't put that genie back in the bottle. Make sure that he has proper information and do not shy away from material that is explicit; he has obviously already seen this type of material so it is nothing new. The advantage of buying proper adult videos is that you can then go through any materials that he has and remove any that you do not feel show sex in a good light. For example, feel free to take away movies or magazines that show forced, painful, or humiliating acts of sex. You can then also lock out adult websites on the computer without just being arbitrary and controlling. One good textbook should be enough and there are many videos that show sex among real couples in loving relationships in the website link I gave. Some variety doesn't hurt, particularly if you can see that mens and women's bodies are not all the same.

Your actions should involve guiding him to responsible behavior such as not having unprotected sex or not trying to experiment with a younger girl (or boy) or not taking erotic material to school with him. Obviously, he should not show the materials to anyone younger. Tell him that the materials are his and his responsibility. You might need a locked enclosure if he has younger siblings.

Your actions should not involve trying to stop him from gaining information, viewing erotic material, or masturbating. Be a real parent and place reasonable limits on his actions, tell him he can talk to you if he has questions, and you might even buy him a Fleshlight which is an aid for men. It is made of a jelly rubber material with a hole in it and has a case that looks rather like a flashlight. https://www.fleshlight.com/main/index.php?

Answer 3

I hate to break this to you, but he sounds like a pretty normal 13 year old.

Your best bet is to sit down and have a long talk with him. His hormones are kicking in, he's got sex on the brain, you can't do anything to change that.

What you CAN do is make sure he has the right information about sex. You don't want him having his only perception of sex and love coming from porn sites and magazines. Have a detailed and in depth conversation on love, relationships, sex, pregnancy and diseases. Make sure he has the full picture.

Answer 4

He is just a horny teenager. But...You need to find out where he is getting the magazines and movies. He should not be able to get these on his own. You can set parental controls on the computer. He will still find a way to look at porn. Is it really that bad? He is just masturbating, I think that is better than him actually trying to have sex yet.

Answer 5

OK this is normal for kids from 10-14 it is totally normal when iwa s that age my mom said i used to watch it on the computer and on the tv hes not addicted he just likes it a lil and maby he wants to try it!!

Answer 6

show him that your not happy with that and take his magazines and movies and i know he will watch porn again but he will watch porn less then befor and when he grow up he will stop.

Answer 7

Sorry to tell you this, but their is little to nothing you can do. All you can do is talk to him about safe sex and the consequences of unsafe sex. He's gonna find some way of watching it if he's not able to watch it at home. Good luck.

Answer 8

no affence but i think its more like your the 13 year old and u are addicted to that stuff and u dont want to be. based on your other questions i dont think you are a father.

but anyways i think its because your son is curious because people think sex is bad to talk and discuce about. welll if you dont kids may wonder and find bad and untrustworthy ways to learn about sex and crap.

Answer 9

Wow how disturbing!! Unfortunately there are no cure alls. My suggestion is tough love. Find an organization or agency that deals with this issue and let your child spend quality time there getting educated. Find educational tapes (for visual) on STD's.

Answer 10

Hey i would be worried if my 13 year old son WAS NOT doing those things.

Answer 11

thats totally normal for a teen but you can sit and talk with him,if he'll listen
and do teach him about using protection
alternative ideas
take away the computer,the pornos,the magzines but i dont think that will work at all