I have a friend that I have known since I was a young. We separated soon after high school but kept on communicating. Last week he came back to town after about 4 years only to tell me that is has realised and accepted that he is gay. I was shocked and now I do not know what to do. Should I continue seeing him and am I safe with him?
2006-08-13 01:58:32 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Wow, some friend you turned out to be.
This friend is the same friend you have always known. He always was gay, his entire life, and now he has finally come out he is hoping to be accepted for who and what he is. Now presumably you accepted him before, you were friends after all, the only difference is the fact that he has sexual relationships with men.
The fact that you would ask about still being his friend is utterly sad. You would really turn your back on someone after they have been brave enough to admit to being gay. With so many homo prejudiced people like you out there do you think it was easy to admit to?
As far as safety goes, you can't catch being gay. He is not going to look for an excuse to rape you when you least expect it. He knows you are straight (although often people as homophobic as you have certain tendencies they are hiding). I'd say you are quite safe. If you have ever had female friends have they ALL tried to sleep with you? Of course not. Just because straight women like men, doesn't mean they sleep with every man they meet. Just because your friend is gay doesn't mean he now wants to marry you.
You have to make a simple decision. Are you capable of opening your mind and being accepting of others who are not like you or not? If not, tell him that you can't be his friend any more and move on. If you think you can be open minded sit down with him and chat about his sexuality. Maybe even tell him some of your fears and concerns. Perhaps as a friend he will fill in some blanks for you and allow you to understand more about what being a gay man is all about. I sincerely hope that you are intelligent enough to take the open minded approach.
2006-08-13 02:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by ZCT 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure that I understand the question?
Why would you not feel safe with him if youre female? Hes not likely to try anything! lol!
It can be a shock finding out that someone youve been close to is now gay. Unfortunately, people who discover they are gay have no choice in the matter. You need to appreciate that it must of been very hard for him to accept and by going away, hes found the strength to come to terms with it and be himself.
Imagine what its been like for him growing up harbouring such confusion.
I think that as a friend, you should be there for him. He's put his trust in you by telling you and he'd only tell you if he thought you were a good friend.
2006-08-13 02:06:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brother had a similar situation. His childhood friend told him a few years ago that he is gay. He was shocked but he didn't care. A friend is a friend no matter what their sexual preference is. Why should it affect your friendship?!? Are you homophobic?!? If you are not comfortable then don't see him. However, that will make you look like a prick, cause real friends accept their friends regardless of who or what they are. Think about it. Good luck!
2006-08-13 02:07:38 · answer #3 · answered by curious_boricua_soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...why is it that as soon as homophobes find out that a friend is gay, they automatically assume that they are attracted to you.....do you fancy every woman that you meet ??!! It would be sad to lose a childhood friend just because of his sexual preferences when you have so much history to share - and if he was truely your friend before, then nothing should have changed...he is still the same guy ! Try to be more open minded.
2006-08-13 02:06:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you really so shallow and insecure that you don't know whether to remain on speaking terms with a so called friend simply and only because he is gay. Why don't you tell your friend that you have asked this website this question and let him decide if he wishes to remain your friend?
2006-08-13 02:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by Raymo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why to do anything? DO you female friends feel safe with you? He is the same person he was two weeks ago so take it easy and be a friend to him as he is to you.
2006-08-13 02:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by justme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because he is gay, doesn't mean you have to treat him any different, or that he will hit on you.
He is still the same friend you always knew.
Let him know that you will support him no matter what.
2006-08-13 02:07:33 · answer #7 · answered by dellamorte 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is every girl you know attracted to you? Chances are not every gay guy is either. He's still the same person you grew up with. You just know about another piece of him now. I think you should definitely continue seeing him.
2006-08-13 02:02:21 · answer #8 · answered by Heather 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
who are you to question him! his sexuality should not affect your friendship. hes done all the hard work by coming out to you, now you should be happy for him and enjoy his company.
if you go out together, at least at the end of the evening you wont have some drunken slob trying to get into your knickers. just treat him like one of your girlfriends and you will have a friend for life.
2006-08-13 23:32:35 · answer #9 · answered by starwolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this should not change the friendship. Show him that u r a true friend. You r safe as long as he does not try 2 put the moves on u.
2006-08-13 02:05:27 · answer #10 · answered by nickistheman6 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋