My mother really has mental health problems. She is incredibly difficult to be around. I have dealt with it my whole life because she is my mom, but now I have a six month old daughter and she is putting her at risk. Yesterday, she gave her a peice of bread and my child started to choke. Then, my mom lied about giving it to her. I cannot trust her around my child. I dont know what to do about it because even if I am in the room at all times, if I turn away for a split second, she puts my child in danger. I dont want to hurt my mother, but I have to protect my child. Has anyone dealt with this before? what should I do? I have tried setting ground rules and reasoning with her, but she is too sick to stick to anything I tell her.
2006-08-13 01:47:35 · 13 answers · asked by dixiechic 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
You need to put your child first. That may mean not leaving the room, not even for a second. Maybe you just need to limit visits with your mom, or have someone there with you both so if you do need to leave your daughter the other person can keep an eye on her.
2006-08-13 01:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by bluskygreengrass 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she's really mental. I hate to say this but send her to a home. It might set her straight. She might eventually be able to be a real grandmother after sitting in a mentally ill home. And for you, it will give you a chance to experience life with your child. Just b/c you suffered with your moms disabilities all your life doesn't mean your daughter has to too. This isn't a hard decision honey. You should always do whats right for your child. Just think about it if your daughter is around that behavior for some time she may pick up some of your mother habits. Children do whatever they see others do. Trust me I have two. So you have to be careful about what kind of environment you put your child in. Putting your mom in a mentally ill home isn't saying you don't love her. It's saying that you love her dearly and you want your mother to be there to see her grandchild take her first steps, her first word, her first loose tooth, her first pee pee in the pottie. Sweetie having children is blessing and you better take advantage of this situation while your daughter is too young to understand whats going on. Children are smarter than we all think so protect her. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO! I wish you luck and I'm sorry about your mother.
2006-08-13 09:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother will always be a special part of you and you will always want her to be well and have a part in the life of your child. But now that you have said child that is the most important part of your life. Really what else are we here for but to procreate and bring those children up to be the best they can be and my advice to you would be to only think of your child in this situation. Omit the mother from the equastion as harsh as that may sound. The safety of your child (and your own sanity) are what really matters. Your mothers involvement with your child obviously has to be closely monitered and there is nothing wrong with that. If she is aware of the fact that she has a problem she should be able to accept this to some degree.
2006-08-13 09:00:23 · answer #3 · answered by ploobis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a mentally ill mother and two children under the age of three so I know how you are feeling. My mother has schizophrenia but she refuses to get treatment or take her meds. Would your mom be willing to see a therapist? You could tell her you want her to be part of your child's life but if that is going to happen she has to start taking care of herself and seeing a therapist regularly, taking medications if necessary.
I tried this with my mother and it worked for a little while. Unfortunately in my mother's case, she simply does not believe there is anything wrong with her and she refuses to keep her doctor's appointments. I know it can be very, very difficult. The best thing you can do for your child is make sure you are always there. Don't leave your baby alone with your mother. I know we all want our mom's to be there when we need a babysitter but in some cases grandma just isn't capable of doing it alone.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-13 14:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by brainchild 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is such a difficult situation. I'm dealing with a similar problem, but it's my cousin, not my mom.
Unfortunatly, I think it would be best to not let her around your baby. There is nothing worth jeopardizing the welfare of your daughter....NOTHING. Being around your mom will just cause you great anxiety and put your baby at risk...it's just not worth it.
Your mom is probably well aware that she is mentally ill because it sounds like she's been dealing with this for a while. Therefore, it should come to no surprise to your mom that you are forced to make this decision. You will have to tell your mom that you can't trust her. I know that's going to be incredibly difficult, but like I said...your daughter's well-being is more important than your mom's hurt feelings.
If I were you, I would have a talk with my mom...telling her how I feel...and frankly telling her that she can no longer be around the baby.
Best of luck to you, honey. I'm so sorry you have to make such a tough decision. But remember....you are doing the right thing!!
2006-08-13 08:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be exposing a baby to your mother's illness. You obviously cannot trust her because of her condition, so don't do it. It's your baby's life that matters.
Is your mother on medications - has she been diagnosed with anything by a competent doctor. And you shouldn't have had to deal with it your whole life 'because she's your mother.' She should have had treatment years ago.
To be honest - she doesn't sound that sick - she sounds like she's stubborn and will do as she pleases around your child. She didn't kill you when you were a baby, so this doesn't sound like a mental illness, but I'm not a professional.
2006-08-13 10:21:49 · answer #6 · answered by theophilus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although my Mother has never been diagnosed, her recent behaviour has left me thinking she may also have a mental illness.. possibly dementia.
She left rat poison on the floor in the garage and locked my dog in there one night when she was looking after her. LUCKY I spotted her eating it in time and we rushed her to the vet..
my point is, if you're concerned, don't leave your child alone with your mother. It's harsh.. but what else can you do?
2006-08-13 08:52:25 · answer #7 · answered by dellamorte 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I moved 3,000 miles away, to keep my children away from my EX-husbands mentally ill mother.
I had to make a choice, either allow my EX mother-in-law to continue to be drunk around my children or get them as far away as possible.
Good Luck
2006-08-13 09:43:32 · answer #8 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to keep the child away from ur mother or be in the same room when she is
2006-08-13 08:50:27 · answer #9 · answered by NIcky b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has problems! Just ask the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart, repent, and ask for forgiveness.
2006-08-13 09:11:38 · answer #10 · answered by Angie M 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋