When my hubby and I first started dating the sex was beyond everynight. And it stayed that way for about two years. Anytime he asks or I just get the urge I give him a b.j.. But lately that is all he wants and i get nothing in return. And I mean nothing. I can't talk to him about it because the next I give him a b.j. he will pull the crap he did last night. He slid it in right before he exploded and 3 pumps in and he was done. That wasn't even worth getting excited for. I want the lovemaking we had to come back. If not I may have to find someone else.
2006-08-13 01:41:15 · 24 answers · asked by redneck_grrrl28 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its not you... he has got lazy and possibly you have been a bit `easy` with him - make him work for it... Also tell HIM to head on down (emphasis is TELL) . BJs are amazing speaking as a guy... They are more intense and intimate than penetrative sex - many women will have straight sex with a guy - a lot fewer will give BJs and fewer still are good at giving them.
Basically talk to him and tell him what you want. If he wont provide even though he knows you are unfullfilled then its time to examine your relationship.
I hope it all works out for you and you get back to mindblowing sex soon. HUGS & good luck !!!
2006-08-13 01:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by Ade 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not so fast!
Divorce is a significant emotional life crushing event on you and those around you!
Sex or marriage boredom is common - and easily fixed!!!
Determine the cause of the boredom.
Is it really your marriage or is it your life? You can create pretty much anything you want for the 2 of you - the big trick is determining what you want!
So what do you want? Out of life? Family? What do you want out of marriage? Sex?
Talk about the sex, in a fun way! Find some things that turn him on - maybe some new things... and some things that turn you on too!!
~ Do some fun 'Sex Homework' or field trips... when you discuss the sex situation - smile, make it a flirty fun conversation!
Also keep in mind he isn't going to be receptive at first.. present your discusion and give him time to let things sink in!
~ Go on some 'dates', trying something different - like go to the video arcade and play video games together, go to an 'adult bookstore' and explore some videos or toys, go garage saleing on Sat morning, explore you local area as if it was a tourist destination (i.e - go see all the touristy stuff), rent Harleys and go for a motorcycle weekend get away, cook diner for him nekid, go skinny dipping, go sky diving, perhaps a hike, look at local interest groups like kayaking, swing dancing, etc.
I would warn that it is important to turn it around now - divorce is such a tangled soul wrenching and life changing event you don't want to go there!
Good luck and Cheers!
2006-08-13 08:43:08 · answer #2 · answered by shredderb 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't suppose communication is high on people's lists anymore but have you talked to him about this? Here's a secret Sweets, the married couple that can talk it out and solve their problems last the longest. And enjoy sex the most. It's been said you should never use sex as a weapon so don't refuse sex with him. Just don't give him what he wants....obviously the BJ and getting his cookies before you get yours. Let him know it takes two to tango and you're tired of dancing alone!
2006-08-13 09:10:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make him talk to you. Perhaps he's bored too and wants to spice things up, but is afraid to mention what he wants you both to do. Give him some time before you look for someone else. If you really want to spice things up and get back the sexual excitement that you had, give him of of your ideas. If you want to really spice things up, do one of his fantasies for him. Beware, if you ask him what you can do to get the excitement back and he tells you that he wants to bring in someone else or open the marriage, that might be what it takes to get it back. It all depends on how much you are willing to do to spice it up. Don't be upset with him if you ask him what he wants to do, and then he tells you.....and you don't want to do it; you asked! If you want to know more of my experience in this, contact me. Always be honest and polite. Good Luck
2006-08-13 09:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, leave him at the first sign of trouble. That's so much easier as actually dealing with the problem.
Talk to him. See what's on his mind. He might be bored with the sex. He might wanna try something different. He might just be tired from his work. Plenty of possibilities you'll never find out if you don't talk to him.
2006-08-13 08:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by pete_can_do 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Easy. Stop with the BJs until he starts to
1. go down on you or,
2. he does it like you want it.
Quid pro quo
2006-08-13 09:01:03 · answer #6 · answered by AllisterD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A BJ is a powerful bargaining tool. Withhold them until you get what you want, or get out of the relationship. Sorry to hear it ended up that way for you.
2006-08-13 08:48:03 · answer #7 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two years is awfully early for your sex life to deteriate. See if he will agree to marriage counseling before you give up. If there was never anything between you more important than sex, maybe you should consider divorce, not an illicit affair.
2006-08-13 08:46:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow a woman who still gives bj's after getting married you are a very rare and great lady .Marry me i last for ages and give back what i recieve xx
2006-08-13 09:04:30 · answer #9 · answered by pig m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry, it will come back....slow down with the bj's a bit and let him find out what a joy it is between your legs
2006-08-13 09:01:24 · answer #10 · answered by dyno_bot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋