Were To Tell You I Was Making Jokes & Insulting People Who Aren't Straight, With My Dad, What Would You Say?

Question

What if I said I was sorry? I am too scared of my father not to follow him in what he says and does... :'-(

Answer 1

I'm sorry Sean. its not your fault. It's ok honey. Many boys are afraid of their fathers, usually for good reason. You are a good person inside, and if you did not mean inside what you said, but were only trying to placate your dad -- no one blames you. If you said things in front of a gay boi that you think you might have hurt -- and you can find a way to -- it would be kind if, when you aren't with your dad, you told him you are sorry -- it would make him feel better too, I'm sure. Just tell him what you told us here.

Don't worry, you won't have to be afraid forever, just never forget inside what you believe yourself, and once you dare, let the good person that is inside, out.

You are loved.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 2

I'm with you; your dad makes these crude and nasty remarks and jokes, and you feel you have to go along with him, because thats what he does, and he's your dad. Thats really sad. If you are afraid of your father, then you dont have a choice but to go on as you are until you can leave home and get your own place, then YOU can dictate what sort of thing is said, because it will be your home. I wish you all the luck in the world. Not everyone is a bigot, or offensive about other peoples preferences, but I,m afraid I cant see any way for you to handle this, unless you just change the subject and start talking about something else.

Answer 3

I don't see the problem with reading this question. Seems perfectly clear to me. He just left off the If I at the beginning.....Give the guy a break, okay??? What's wrong with you people. He comes here, looking for a little support, and you're gonna ream him because his typing isn't great. Well, isn't that just wonderful.

Listen, sweetie. The fact is, your dad probably made those jokes with his dad, and so on and so forth. Maybe that's really how he feels about folks who aren't straight. Maybe he doesn't feel that way, but thinks he's supposed to, because that is how he was taught.

I am proud that you have other opinions than your dad. I know it's hard, because you feel like you are being hateful, even though you don't actually feel the hate. Until you are grown enough to move out of your father's hosue, then you will probably need to keep your feelings under wraps. When he says these things, nod and act like you are listening, but know that in your heart, you don't agree.

Once you move out, then you can tell your father that you don't agree with his prejudice, that he is entitled to feel as he chooses, but so are you.

The other thing to consider is that parents sometimes think that their children are just extensions of themselves. He probabl thinks that you have the same feelings and opinions as him, because thats what he WANTS you to believe.

I understand and greatly appreciate the need you seem to feel to stand up to us "non straights", but also feel that personal safety and security are paramount. Just keep your opinions to yourself, and when you can leave your father's house you can tell him exactly what you think.

And, depending on what grade you are in, if you are school aged, why not try and make friends with someone who isn't straight? You can show your support that way....by helping someone who is probably in the same situation you are.

Best of luck, and don't listen to the haters.

Answer 4

Sean
It is very hard I am sure to hear your father making comments about gay people. I understand that it hurts you being a gay person and wanting to say somthing. But you must remember that you cannot change the world overnight. You have to look at the whole picture. Do you think that maybe you could say to him without outing yourself that you just dont like the comments because you feal that everyone deserves respect. If the gay people are not hurting him why must he say things to hurt them. Maybe if you just tell him that you dont care if a person is gay or even green that you dont like the comments and would like if he did not make the comments infront of you as you find it hurtfull to others. I would guess that you still live at home so you must keep a certain level of secrects but if you cant say anything to him could you talk to your mother and thell her that you just dont like that kind of behavior and perhaps she could say somthing to him. What ever you do dont out yourself until you are ready. Please stay strong.

Answer 5

You need to slow down and write in English, number one.
How old are you? Are you still living at home?
So, you're telling gay jokes? Why? Are you ignorant? Just because your father says nasty stuff, stand up to him and say you have gays friends and they are very nice. Tell him you think the comments aren't right because you know gay people.
If you are young enough to have to live at home, just be cool. Once you are old enough to move out on your own, then tell him what you really think.
To all who said that telling gay jokes was acceptable, thanks for being part of the problem!!

Answer 6

I would tell my dad that times are changing and there are more people open about being gay. His jokes should not be insulting people who may be within a few feet of him with who alos might have a weapon

Answer 7

You can nod and smile just to go along without becoming involved...
One thing I do know, even if you join in with him simply because you are scared of him, it is a great thing to know that you KNOW that all those jokes aren't true and are wrong.
One day though, you'll have to stand up to him. Be prepared because no one can(or should) run forever.

Answer 8

Think before you post. This is hard to understand.

Are you gay or straight? Are you under your fathers roof?

If you are gay and under your fathers roof and he is blatant homophobe don't say anything about how you are until you are on your own and paying your own bills. You are too vulnerable as a minor.

If you are on your own then you should follow your own conscience and not do something that you regret.

Answer 9

You should just keep quiet (if possible) if you do not agree with what your father says/does. If you are too scared too, I hope one day you come to no longer fear him. A person should not have to fear their own parent for any reason at all...

;-)

Answer 10

Inter bred prejudice, will it ever stop. Hate is not good, I think it sucks that we sometimes get so brainwashed by our peers and parents. Times have changed, there are GAYS in the world. There good people. Stop the hate ask your buddy for a date