My ex-wife has become increasingly stubborn in making the children available to me for the parenting time I have with them. She also still owes me assets that were ordered at Judgment. There are many other "nuisance issues," for instance, she is completely void of any manners over the phone (when calling to speak with the childen) and uses insults and condescension in practically every E-mail message that she sends. Anyone got some suggestions how to deal with this (the major problems, at least) in the legal system?
2006-08-13 00:12:40 · 15 answers · asked by StevenD 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If this situation truly bothers you, then by law, she is in contempt of court, and your lawyer can go into court and request that she comply.
But, ask yourself, is this really a big deal? People going through a divorce always experience pain. Each person reacts to that pain in their own way. You're talking about rudeness, and attitude, and a few material items here. Although it may be difficult to see now, these are so very inconsequential.
What you should be focusing on is the children. In a child's eye, their WHOLE world just fell apart. The security they felt being part of the family, is no longer there.
Your wife and you have decided you no longer wish to finish something you started when you go married. That's your choice, but the children had no choice at all.
They need to feel secure, and reassured. Not just once. Remember, they are the ones who are truly suffering. Its not about you or your wife any more, its about the children.You need to be the best parent you can, and focus on that. Not on your ex-wife, or what she's doing, or what she's saying. Focus on the kids, and be the best parent you can be. For the kids.
Good luck to you all.
2006-08-18 13:09:50 · answer #1 · answered by jmiller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As for the visitation part, she does not have to let you see the kids except on your court order time. If you can't do it then that is not her problem. However it would be nice if she would work with you for the kids sakes.
As for the assets that she still has not paid, I will assume that the court orders gave her a specified time limit. If she has not complied by that time then she is in violation of the court order. You can contact your attorney and have her taken back to court on it.
At that time tell the judge that she is also making it very difficult for you to see your children, the rudeness, etc and that you feel that she may be bad mouthing you to the children due to the way she talks on the phone to you in front of them.
Keep copies of all her emails and submit them into court when you go.
Children have the right to have two "responsible" parents that have "their" best interests at heart.
Not to have two parents that are constantly at each others throats.
The only thing parents are doing is causing their children to have a lot of mental and emotional issues and they damn sure don't need them. There is to much bad and evil in this world for our children without it also coming from our own parents.
2006-08-19 12:18:22 · answer #2 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First do NOT make any empty threats. If you're not sure you can force the issue do not say things that will aggrevate the situation. You cannot withhold your support payments for example so don't even hint that you might do something like that.
Document, document, document. Make written notes of all conversations and save all emails and letters. Again DO NOT be part of the problem, be polite but firm in your demands. See your attorney. Show him your notes and letters. He will know when it is time to act. Hopefully if he speaks with her attorney there could be an improvment. Judges DO NOT like to hear problems like this.
Try your best to resolve the situation by talking and reasoning with the ex. Explain that you are not trying to take the children's love and affection away from her or turn them against her. The two of you are in this for the rest of your lives and should BOTH try to make the breakup as easy and pleasant as you can for the childrens sake. If you don't you are BOTH going to lose them eventually.
Realize that she is bitter and try to figure out how to help her overcome that.
2006-08-13 01:58:18 · answer #3 · answered by Michael 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't get down on her level in front of the kids. Treat her with respect even if you are getting treated badly. The kids will know soon enough who is being a jerk and who is trying to get along. As far as assets and giving you visitation terms, you may have to insist but do so through an attorney. You don't have to be a door mat but for the kids sake, don't let them see you two fighting when together.
2006-08-18 10:48:47 · answer #4 · answered by Big Bama Fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Ron,
I just want you to know that if she is not doing what the court has told her she has to being with the kids or not giving property back you can take her to court and have her put in jail for breech of contract. I also want you to know that you arent the only person out there who has these problems we are going through almost the samething but I am a step mother so you can imagine how that goes. Just keep very well documentation of everything. Our lawyer told us when my husband and his ex were going throught this that if she denied him the time he was supposed to have with his kids he could put her in jail. So I hope this helps you and good luck man.
2006-08-13 04:11:21 · answer #5 · answered by Nay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a record of everything - email messages, and phone conversations (written only - don't try taping conversations) that go poorly, note the asset problems, and any trouble with the parenting time, and go to your attorney for better advice.
2006-08-13 00:42:38 · answer #6 · answered by Katia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's see if I got this right...
...She doesn't listen to the court order.
hmmm. must not respect the judge huh!
(my experience - judge sez well that's what I should have ordered in the first place and changes the order to what she is doing)
...She still owes you what the court order sez.
(see above)
...no manners....
then who does she respect?
how do deal with this... ..."in" the legal system?...
is that your question...?
Did the legal system resolve these issues the first time?
OR
did the legal system CREATE these issues.??????
hmm....
2006-08-13 00:27:35 · answer #7 · answered by DM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a journal and all e-mails. Talk to an Attorney
2006-08-13 00:18:34 · answer #8 · answered by want2wild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go to the radio 97.1 FM. on Sunday nights, there is this show called hope line at night like, 10pm-2am(depends where u live). and U can call them (they'll tell u the number) and they'll help!
2006-08-19 12:33:11 · answer #9 · answered by MoOnliGhtSeductress 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to go to the judge and explain what has been happening. You don't want to do anything stupid to make things bad on yourself.
2006-08-18 05:58:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋