2006-08-12 23:46:14 · 26 answers · asked by mrsaxl1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we have 4 kids and friend stays 3 awat and always in. he told me of fantasy when we were having sex.
2006-08-12 23:56:12 · update #1
it is not the first time he has mentioned this to me. i can't tell her cos she is married with a kid.have been friends for 15 years feel sick when i look at him.
2006-08-13 00:19:10 · update #2
say its her or me?
2006-08-13 00:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by patrick-the-leprecon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it hadn't been for your comment on how you feel sick when you look at him I would have complemented you on your superb relationship.
This man obviously feels comfortable and secure enough with you to divulge his deepest darkest secrets. Everyone fantasises, sometimes even about people they know, it is normal and natural. I know my bloke does it too. It doesn't matter if its a film star or your wife's best mate, they are still unattainable. Fantasies are just that, fantasies - he's not saying he's in love with her or that he wants to do anything in real life.
Now go and concentrate on your fantastic relationship and maybe share one or two of your fantasies with your husband - it can only do good for your marriage and help keep 'the spark' alive.
2006-08-13 13:07:08 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's having fantasies about your best friend.... What can you do about it? Nothing. He's your husband. Do you fantasies when making love to your husband?
Men fantasies. Be thankful that you have a strong enough relationship that he told you this.
Communication is the most important part of a relationship. Feel blessed that you have good communication with him. At least he was open and didn't hide it.
2006-08-13 08:59:15 · answer #3 · answered by Ann Chovie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a sap!! I know hes told you and some might say he should be commended for being "honest" but in my experience, a guy that loves you would never evre say that he was having sexual fantasies about anyother woman, never mind your best m8. It sounds to me like he has got you under some sort of spell and that whatever he says goes so when he says this to you, he expects you not to say anything to him and maybe even agree with him because you want to keep him happy. Hes a moron and you deserve better
2006-08-13 07:33:46 · answer #4 · answered by Liane 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men will be men, and we will always have fantasies about women, regardless of who they are to our spouses.
However, the smart man keeps those thougths to himself, doesn't vocalize them and never acts on them.
On the bright side, he trusts you and is comfortable enough with you to share this with you apparantly. That probably means one of two things:
1) He has no intention of following through with the fantasy...
or
2) He will eventually try to talk you into a 3-some/swinging type scenario.
I would sit down and have an honest talk about this with him. Let him know you appreciate him trusting you enough to share this with you, but that this particular piece of information makes you feel uncomfortable.
You might also want to politely, but firmly, point out exactly what will happen if he even thinks about option #2 above.
Good luck...
2006-08-13 06:52:42 · answer #5 · answered by Physh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds immature and like he needs a slap. Fantasies are natural - its quite normal to fantasise occasionally, its especially harmless if its about a celebrity or someone you're never going to meet, but to fantasise about your best mate and to TELL you so is really insensitive!!!!! If that was me I'd be really hurt and would let him know I'm hurt by it. I would NEVER tell my other half that I was fantasising about his best mate (I wouldn't fantasise about his best mate anyway as the guy is a real nob!!! But even if I was fantasising about the guy I wouldn't TELL my other half, its just really insensitive and would hurt him).
If you trust your husband and your best mate not to "act" on his fantasies then try not to worry too much. Its tactless of him but nothing to worry about per se. Just make sure you make him aware that he has hurt you and is going to have to work hard to get back into your good books.
Try to distract him from fantasising about her by directly his fantasies and appetites in other ways. Ask if there is anything else he fantasises about (other than women you know!) and try some experiementation. It might be enough to distract him from thinking about your mate.
If you have any suspicions that he (and she) might try to act on the fantasies then be careful as anyone who would sleep with their wife's best mate is not someone you want to waste your time being with. And she wouldn't be much of a mate either. If anything happened between them I would toss them both to the kerb.
2006-08-13 11:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet a lot of men fantasize about their wives friends. His problem is not so much that he did but the fact that he told you. It sounds as if he has no respect for you, The fact that he verbalized it without concern that it might hurt your feelings or worry you means to me he is the type that might take that fantasy and try to make it reality.
2006-08-13 07:12:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is common to have sexulal fantasies in life...Up to the extent it will nat be a real one...
Had you spoke to the husband about the issue...Dont talk to them at same time...Speak to your friend and husband seperaetly...DO u have a kid..
Dont wait for thiings to happen or solved by itself....Its an tricky position for you....DOnt be so rude too.....Mail me about your status...
How long you r friends...Do u have a kid.....R u sure he is fantasising her...I can surely help you...sister
Mail me elegantkvc@yahoo.com
2006-08-13 06:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by vijayalaya c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can have fantasies about anybody..an actress...etc..the question is :is he asking you to help him fulfill his fantasies with your mate?or is he just been honest and sorry about it?...there's a difference ..If he's fantasizing about your mate and wants to make it happen....let him go or if you love him ,get him therapy and try to move on...
2006-08-13 06:58:54 · answer #9 · answered by maru_artmarina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK... firstly don't punish him for opening up to you and telling you his fantasies... they are just that... fantasies... we all have them and some involve our our partners and some don't.... it doesn't mean we are going to act on them..
If he was going to act on it, then trust me you would be the last person.... just indulge him in a little role play.. you never know...it might be fun.
2006-08-13 12:07:20 · answer #10 · answered by dirtyminx82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shared a fantasy with you... you should not be disqusted unless he acts on it.
I would tell my wife too because doing so would keep me accountable to her. And keep me from acting on it.
The other reason is because he wants a 3-some. But assuming it's not that, it's to keep himself accountable.
2006-08-13 08:08:47 · answer #11 · answered by Say it like it is 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋