i have a boyfriend and he means so much to me. i like him alot and i care and trust him. he knows that. we were dating when we had school then summer came. we started falling apart, he changed into a differnt person. he didnt want to hang with me as much, and he didnt call alot. he says he likes me and cares for me, hes told me he loves me so much. but i dont feel like hes the one i fell for, i miss the one where he would call me back and we would talk for hours, and now its nothing. i want my old boyfriend back. the one who made me his everything, what can i do ?
2006-08-12 22:50:24 · 13 answers · asked by Lay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hey Beba, maybe Mr. BF has changed as you say, but we all change. I am sure you have grown and changed too... To expect a relationship to be always just the way it is is a Little Girl's Faery Tale dream. When the little girl eventually grows up she will realise that after Cinderella and Prince CHarming ride off into the sun set, they will have bills to pay, parties to go to, habits about each other they need to compromise like her compulsive need to talk to rodents or his weird fetish for women's feet, political decisions to make, accusations that Cinderella has used tax payers money to fulfill her shoe obsession stating she has 160 pairs of Manolo Blahniks stashed away in her cellar guarded by mice.
Sit back and analyse your relationship, has the two of you grown in different ways? Have you guys developed new interests that do not interest the other person? Have your expectations or needs in the relationship changed? If they have maybe you already know the answer and just need to face it.
I know many that hang on to a relationship that isnt working, some cannot even stand the sight of each other but yet hang on to the IDEA of a relationship and in the process, make themselves nad their partner miserable, because they feel trapped, oppressed and unable to move forward... if something doesnt work, fix it but if it still doesnt work, throw it out and move on.....
Look and see, if he IS the one you fell for... or did you fall for the "image" and idea of what you want? Even a cool guy has uncool days, waking up to see Mr Cool in his Bart Simpson's boxers can be pretty nerve wracking if you have always thought he would be 100% pure Wolverine.
Look beyond the image, look beyond the fantasy and see if he is the one who is your pillar of strength when you are down, or your channel to share happiness when you win champion karaoke at the sushi cafe, or someone whom you will pour your heart of care to when he is sad.... If you can look beyond the surface and picture the true pulp of the fruit, then maybe, you will see... the guy that you fell in love with those months ago didn't really change but was just covered by fog, that you have to clear for yourself to see THAT HIM, smiling back at you.
Don't worry too much ( you're gonna worry anyway if anyone told you not to... so not too much haha ), Look deeply with your heart, and evaluate well with your mind... I know how engulfing this is for you, been there done that.. you will overcome this block... Good luck Beba... Hope all turns out well.
2006-08-13 20:08:26 · answer #1 · answered by Tiara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe stop your freekin' WHINING and BE the person YOU WERE in the beginning. GAWD-- SO MANY people claim that their lover changed, when in fact THEY changed. Look at YOU and see where YOU changed. I personally have gotten to know some people -- friends and lovers both -- and while I still liked them or loved them, the details I discovered about them made me take a step back.
Like an old friend Jennifer who I found out had a secret drug and gambling addiction and was hitting everyone up for "rent" money, until we found out what it was really for...
Like a friend who seemed to have his $hit together, and then I witnessed that he really didn't at all when I saw his place -- it was absolute squalor -- truly scary filth...
Things that make you step back a bit, but not remove yourself completely from their lives. So yes-- they saw me as changed, when in fact it was a reaction to who THEY were, you see.
No accusations toward you, but honesty in BOTH directions helps clarify LOTS of misunderstandings.
Or maybe he's just found someone with bigger boobs -- it IS America, after all...
:0
2006-08-12 23:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by fitpro11 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes this means he's no longer interested. It could mean that the "honeymoon" part of the relationship is over. When we meet someone and start dating, we tend to have blinders on. In addition, we are also putting our best foot forward to impress the other person. But after time this all wears off and you see that person without the blinders and without the person trying to impress you. You can choose to start over with someone else, desperate for that infatuation stage, or you can realize that every relationship goes through this.
2006-08-12 22:56:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him about it. Don't just listen ti his words, read his face and body language. If you feel that you guys are going nowhere, end the relationship. don't get dragged down by a guy who doesn't really love you. And even if he does, figure something out, because the longer you just sit there and let the time fly by, the harder it is to break it off when you need to. I know. I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year, and I feel like I'm in hell. What's worse is that I just moved, so I'm isolated in some hick town with no one to hang out with or talk to, and I'm really lonely. Don't drag it out like I did. If it doesn't feel right, end it. otherwise it'll hurt more.
2006-08-12 23:03:21 · answer #4 · answered by Israely Jew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What changed? He's feelings towards you or your expectation towards him? Did you change yourself...? Everything change in life... Sometimes, it changed into something that we really like and hope for all this times, BUT sometimes changes can be something that we cannot accept... All I'm trying to say is, appreciate what you have now, don't wait until the day that you lost it, till then, it's too late to regret. Believe me... This comes from a true heart------ Milady
2006-08-12 23:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by moomoo_taurus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have a talk with him and tell him how you feel.Maybe he hasn't realized he's changed...I remember when I was in 7th grade and my best friend had changed so much and she didn't realize it until I told her something after that she changed back to her old self not completely but she was there.But that's not always the case he could be changing because he might feel like he don't want to be in a relationship anymore.Just talk to him and see whats up with him.I hope everything truns out kool with you!
2006-08-12 23:12:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we truly love another person we will accept them for who they are unconditionally. We all develop and grow/learn each new day! Life is an adventure that we appreciate and being part of it is a lifetime journey. We make a choice of what's really important...and we let our spirit guide us in our quiet thoughts.
2006-08-12 22:58:39 · answer #7 · answered by bond_babe_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are, but I recomend you read more about why men drift, how it happens, you'll be glad you did go to google and type in Christian Carter, you'll thank me.
2006-08-12 23:09:16 · answer #8 · answered by You are loved 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is in love with some another one .. believe taht ..
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yours
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2006-08-12 22:54:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
communication is the key. tell him how u feel. if u means sth to him, he will do sth abt this gap. use yr heart to fell wat he is doing.
or mayb u shd tink if u hv formed expectations or preceptions abt his characters b4 u fully know how he is like?
2006-08-12 22:55:17 · answer #10 · answered by jixiang 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋