My step daughter?

Question

I love my step daughter very much. She is only 6 and i have been pretty involved in her life since she was 4. i have not ever said anything bad about her mum. in fact it is quite the opposite, i say good things about her mum when ever i can. i encourage her dad my husband to spend time with her and talk with her and i really thought i was doing all that i could to show her that i love her. i dont try to pretend that i am her new mummy so i really do not understand what this happens... on the morning that i got married to my husband her dad, her and i went and got our hair and make up done. she kept saying that i looked like a witch. Not exactly the feedback i wanted but i laughed it of and decided she was just joking, but today after taking her away for a great weekend we had printed some photos for her to keep. one of them was of us as a family on the wedding day and she said it again. "you look like a witch." I think that this means something what do you think?

Answer 1

In a perfect world you should be able to sit down with your husband and his ex wife(biological mother) and discuss the well being of the child. In a perfect world that would be the right thing to do.
However seeing as this is not a perfect world there is one thing you should never do. As im sure that the ex wife has a role in this either out of jealousy or that she is feeling threatened by you. The one thing you should never do is sink to her level. Be your gracious self. Continue the wonderful things you do and enjoy it. The child will grow and begin to understand the environment she is living in. A warm loving enironment .

Answer 2

that's an extremely not hardship-free and massive determination. In a feeling I accept as true with what some have pronounced approximately letting her pass stay along with her mom and he or she can get a style of what that existence is somewhat like. it ought to be she has this fantasy geared up up in her head approximately what it may be like and could come across that's some distance from certainty. on the different hand, i'm able to additionally to narrate to what others have pronounced approximately it being a supervision subject. So...i could ask around and get a referral to a notably stated therapist. Take the doorstep daughter to counseling besides as your self and husband. Get some ideas to what is going on in her head and why that's she hates it at your residing house. discover out from the therapist while you're being to strict on her. Get a advice from the therapist on what her opinion the superb place for the toddler would be.

Answer 3

I think she needs some time to graps what happened between her mother and her father. To understand that like it or not you are having her mother's place. Being nice to her and talk about her mother as a good mother is not enough to enrich the relationship between you two. Angryness is one emotion that everyone passes through and it is important that this emotion is expressed. Let the child expresses her anger towards her mother that left or died and towards you that took her mother's place. Even towards her father that brought another woman. She then afterwards can start to accept you as a step mother...as the new lover of her father.

At the age of 6 children passes through what Sigmund Freud called as the Phallic stage in a series of psychosexual development. The child becomes aware that she is a girl and that she lacks what a boy have that is a penis. They envies boys or men and seeks to have one. The girl wants her father for herself because he has what she wants to have but according to Frued, unconsciously the girl after time passes by, understands that she cannot have this and identifies herself with her mother. Afterwards that identifies herself as a girl with different body. This takes time.

YOu can search on the web about this process....it can help you a lot to understand the behaviour of your step child. Another impotant thing is that you and your husband can do things together with her to show her your love. After all it is normal that a girl still feels this shaky feelings with a woman taking the place of her mother. But time will arrange everything.

Answer 4

She's 6. She either thinks you look like a witch character she's seen in a movie or something, or, perhaps she is a little sad about the marriage. She needs to be reassured (in a loving way) that you haven't taken away her daddy and you aren't replacing her mommy. You are an added person, not a take away person.

Answer 5

she is only six and she may be feeling aliite jelous. And now that daddy is married again she may have just realized that mommy and daddy will not be together again. When you are young marriage seems like a forever or final thing., She may just be acting out because she is scared that you will have a new family and daddy will love them more. Who knows maybe she heard mommy say it. Kids are great for repeating things they hear, I know my little blabber mouth does.

Answer 6

You have to understand that in her mind you are taking the place of a special person in her life and taking her father's attention - it will take perserverence in order for her to love and accept you. Try to be her support when she needs you...

Answer 7

The best solution to your situation is a sense of humor, that light warm-hearted quality that will guide you through the darkest of times.

Answer 8

Her mom may have a role in this. Or she is starting to understand what has happened between her parents and is taking it out on you.

Answer 9

You married her dad. to her that's the equivalent to kidnapping him, also at six she always has fantasies of seeing her mom and dad back together, and maybe you don't want to admit it she may be picking up some resentment that her mom's having.

Answer 10

No, probabaly she might have read or any story of this kind. you keep continue your behavior. and help her to forget this "witch" word.