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Please read patiently if these sentences have any errors. I need to submit my school ideas by tomorrow and have some problems with my wordings!! Please correct to the BEST you can. 10 points for best. THANKS.
A pillar that stands tall and erect, symbolizes the strong foundation. A concept of blue, elicits a simple yet elegant sense surrounding the area.
Behind the transparent design, a life philosophy revealed. It assents the architectural design in exhibiting the virtue of aptitude development to an unlimited extent.
Located at Maine road, we are proud to present our U.S 6th Aztech automobile grand showroom which is now officially launched for exhibition spectacular.
To put our best foot forward, we aspire to serve our customer with hospitality and attentive in mind. Customers not only can look forward to our courteous and feel-at-home after-sales-services, they can also expect our undaunted spirit in providing professionalism in automobile repairs and services.

2006-08-12 20:25:42 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference Teaching

6 answers

A pillar that stands tall and proud symbolizes its strong foundation. A construct of blue elicits a simple yet elegant aura surrounding the area.
Behind the transparent design, a life philosophy is revealed. It accents the architectural design in exhibiting the virtue.... (something something: what you have makes no sense).
Located at Maine road, we are proud to present our U.S 6th Aztech automobile grand showroom which is now officially launched with our spectacular exhibition.
We aspire to serve our customer with hospitality and an attentive mind. Customers not only can look forward to our courteous and feel-at-home after sales services, they can also expect our undaunted spirit in providing professionalism in automobile repairs and services.

2006-08-12 20:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by im.in.college.so.i.know.stuff 4 · 1 0

A pillar that stands tall and erect symbolizes a strong foundation.
Theconcept of blue elicits a simple, yet elegant sense in the surrounding area.
Behind the transparent design, a life philosophy was revealed. It represented the architectural design and exhibited the virtue and aptitude of development to an unlimited extent.
Located on Maine road, we are proud to present our 6th U.S Aztech automobile grand showroom, which is now officially launched for the exhibition spectacular.
To put our best foot forward, we aspire to serve our customers with hospitality and attention in mind. Customers can not only look forward to our courteous and feel-at-home after-sales-services, they can also expect our undaunted spirit in providing professionalism in the automobile repairs and services business.

2006-08-12 20:36:38 · answer #2 · answered by Mac Momma 5 · 0 1

If this is for a marketing campaign, I suppose you can try being artsy with these "bold" statements. However, sometimes simplicity is nice.

The concept behind your current arrangement is where you're leading up to something. In 30-second commercials, that's fine because you've got visual aids. If this is being read aloud or just type-written, you may not get your idea across.

You also run the risk of building up a lot of expectations, but what if you don't really satisfy the answer they're seeking. You can try putting in a little bit of that stuff, but I wouldn't over do it.

I'll write them in simple sentences. Then you should try comparing and try making a hybrid version where you've toned down that aspect.

You may also want to check your prepositions. If you can do without them, it sounds better. You also want to have firm statements:

WEAK: We aspire to provide...
BOLD: We provide...

Just say that you do. When you say we "try to" or "make attempts" sounds like you haven't achieved it yet, but you're working on it.

I'm not quite sure what your exact product or the medium this will be conveyed (written, oral, adprint, etc.). So you may have to adjust accordingly.
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A pillar that stands tall and erect symbolizes our business' strong foundation. A concept of blue elicits a simple yet elegant sense surrounding the area.
Behind the transparent design, a life philosophy is revealed. It affirms the architectural design by exhibiting the virtue of a developed limitless aptitude.
Located on Maine Road, we are proud to present our U.S. 6th Aztech Automobile Grand Showroom officially launched for a spectacular exhibition.
We put our best foot forward by serving our customers with hospitality and being attentive to their needs. Customers can enjoy our courteous services that make them feel at home even after they've purchased our products. We have an undaunted spirit that provides professional care in automobile repairs and services.

2006-08-12 20:45:48 · answer #3 · answered by "IRonIC" by Alanis 3 · 0 0

A pillar that stands tall and erect symbolizes a strong foundation. A concept of blue elicits a simple, yet elegant sense surrounding the area. Behind the transparent design, a life philosophy is revealed. It assents the architectural design in exhibiting the virtue of aptitude development to an unlimited extent.
Located at Maine Road, we are proud to present our U.S 6th Aztec Automobile Grand Showroom, which is now officially launched for exhibition spectacular.
To put our best foot forward, we aspire to serve our customers with hospitality. Customers not only look forward to our courteous and feel-at-home after-sales-services, they can also expect our undaunted spirit in providing professionalism in automobile repairs and services.

2006-08-12 20:36:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

Aztec not Aztech

2006-08-13 11:56:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

PLEASE ASK YOUR QUESTION ONLY ONCE! I ANSWERED IT THOROUGHLY IN WORDS & WORDPLAY!!!!!

2006-08-12 23:57:59 · answer #6 · answered by keepsondancing 5 · 0 0

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