Should i get married to him while he in jail??

Question

Here is the thing my boyfriend and I are together for 4 maybe 5 years. He recently got put in jail. He is not the father to my kids but he acts like one to my oldest which his father does not want him around. I don't know if it because i miss him and want to be with him or s the fact that i might not see him for months that i want to marrie. We also live together but with my parents and we are both are going back to school. Pleas help

Here is the thing my boyfriend and I are together for 4 maybe 5 years. He recently got put in jail. He is not the father to my kids but he acts like one to my oldest which his father does not want him around. I don't know if it because i miss him and want to be with him or s the fact that i might not see him for months that i want to marrie. We also live together but with my parents and we are both are going back to school. He is for a child support issues from his ex-wife that he can't even see those kids...Pleas help

he had a job, than his ex iwfe made the county to take his licnece away than he lost his job but ever since than he had a job and they were taking it out off his checks but that made him aonly have 20 dollars for 2 weeks.

i am fix that way i can't have any more kids. here is another twist his ex-wife will not let him see them for long periods of time when i am with and her family works for the county that she lives in.

Answer 1

No. Wait to see if he straightens out his life. Why do you want a husband who has committed a crime and is unavailable? You deserve better.

Answer 2

You are not telling us why he went to jail. This will tell us if it's okay.

Did he accidently drink a little too much as was barely over the legal limit while driving? If he has overall good moral values then yes it would be okay. Or something similar to this anyway.


Did he commit a sexual felony, rob a bank, commit credit card fraud? Did he have warrents not resolved? Did he commit battery? Misconduct? Possession and or use of illegal substances?
Sounds like he did one of these I just mentioned.

Then no, it's not okay at all.
So, NO it's not okay. You can do a lot better.

These people are okay to date and then dump when you realize they get into to this much trouble. BUT NOT TO MARRY!

Heck, i've dated my share of bad girls. They didn't get into to this kind of trouble though. I would only date them. BUT NEVER MARRY THEM.

Sometimes the bad opposite sex is very appealing. They aren't long termers though.
Since we have good hearts, we think that bad opposite will change and a happy world will follow. Not the case, especially your case.

I hope all goes well with you.

Make the right choice. Think about your kids. You don't want a criminal raising them do you?

I would not want a wife who was a criminal raising my kids.

Good luck to you!

Answer 3

You both have been living with your parents. Going back to school (High school?) Why would you marry the guy? He obviously can't stay out of jail and doesn't support even himself. Don't you even hope to give your kids a good life? Why not go back to school yourself, get an education, and try to meet a guy that does support himself, does have his own place to live, and doesn't screw up and go to jail? I am, of course am assuming that you prefer to provide a life for your children that doesn't include jail visits to the step-dad, clothes from thrift shops or yard sales, and a home not provided by Gramps. Or, you can choose to make your kids pay the price for you being a lazy, brainless, loser. It's your choice, your kids' future.

Answer 4

once upon a time there was this guy who was always playing around with things he should not do. It became a habit, the law was getting closer and closer. Then one day he got caught, and was put in jail for months and months. When he got out try as he might (for a few weeks only) his habit returned. And once again he was put in jail. This time it was for something worse, This habit happened time and time again. The man did not want to learn his lesson. His wife became poorer and poorer. Every time she would try and go to school to become a better person, he would get out of jail, and somehow get her to quit. She never became anything more than a jail bird wife. Soon the kids grew up and became just like him. And the daughters grew up to be just like mom. KICK HIM TO THE CURB. and become the person everyone sees around you, you have potential.

Answer 5

if you and your friend have been together that long,, what is the hurry to marry him. just because he went to jail?? why dont you wait why would you want picture of your wedding behind bars??????

keep going to school and make a life for yourself and your kids.

his ex did not have his license taken away. the state does that because he is so far behind on child support.

i think that you need to get yourself taken care of and worry about your kids.

apparently the state is going to take care of him. he is going to have a roof over his head and three meals a day.

what do your kids have without your parents? pay attention to your kids and be a good mom, go back to school and get yourself set up.

when he gets out, then you can think about what he means to you and what he can do for you. will he bring you down or help you be the person that you want to be?

Answer 6

Jail is full of disease and hepatitis and AIDS and Typhus. Let me tell you something and listen up good. He should never be in jail to begin with, but for any reason unexpectedly he has been put in jail, he should bond out immediately and if he is in a situation where he cannot bond right way it is becasue he put himself in that position and now will suffer the consequences.
You are talking about mariage which is ignorant in my opinion. You have to be a good Mother to your children and think right now about them, they are the most important thing in your life right now, not the jail bird. Be wise and be smart, use your head. you don't need no bull in your life right now, You make your bed you lay in it. Your best judgement is your first instinct...when in doubt, leave it out. Men can sometimes use your kindness for your weakness. He has you figured all out and knows what you will do because you have lessen the play role in your relationship by your easy attributed ways. Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Do NOT get married to this man. When he gets out of jail, if he can be responsible and hold down a job for 5 years - then think about it. Meanwhile you will have time to get your life together.

You say he didn;t do child support to his ex-wife for his own children? What does that tell you about how he really feels about kids?

Answer 8

I would have to say no, why in the world would you think that this guy is going to be able to provide you any sort of life for you and your family living anywhere outside your parents house. Your best bet is to finish school and get yourself in a position to where you will be able to be to support your kids and yourself without having to depend on someone who is obligated to take care of his other kids and can't stay out of jail to help you with yours.

Answer 9

You need to move on in life and raise your kids. Your lucky to have your parents support. This guy can not be a role model to your kids, he is in jail. Acting like a father and being one is two different things. A Father takes care of his kids, feeds them, clothes them, provides a roof over their heads. This guy does nothing to symbolize a Father.

Answer 10

Child support doesn't stop just cuz he can't see em. They have to eat, etc., whether he can see them or not. Why can't he see them. I can't imagine being with a guy that doesn't take care of his own children. He deserves to be in jail. He is a loser, and stick with him and some day you'll have his kids and then your kids will go without cuz he won't pay you, either. Lose the loser, or accept what you're in for.

Answer 11

Sound like If you marry him , your gonna be helping him pay that child support he owes!! Would you want to do that? It's his responablity not yours!! Sounds like he doesn't have a good job either! What could he Provide for you and you r kids? is what you need to think about! It doesn't look like Nothing to me!! remember kids need LOVE and CHILD SUPPORT!! So your kids need both too!! Would you have Both with HIm? doesn't sound like it!! I would re-think it all !! What kind of future with a man that is in jail to begin with?? Not a good One!!! There will always be troubles, i bet!!!!!! even with the ex!!!! I hope you think this seriously before marrying him!!!!!!!!