My ex husband shows up in my city today (he lives over 1,000 miles away) and announces that he wants to get custody of my daughter. She is 6.5 years old, and always lived with me. My husband adopted her when she was 2.5 years old as her real father never paid support, visitations, and no contact. The real father has seen her maybe 30 times since she was born. The longest time he ever spent with her was maybe 10 hours. He is on his second marriage since we divorced almost 7 years ago. He also moves around quite a bit. He is telling me that his lawyer found a loop hole in the adoption and that he can fight to get her back. What will a judge look at when deciding custody between us? What things are positive/negative marks on either side for custody? My ex just fought for custody of his older son (from another woman) and won back in May of this year. I am so worried and want to make sure that she stays with me because of the type of person he is, (and he hasn't changed at all).
2006-08-12 17:42:21 · 16 answers · asked by Someonesmommy 5 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Your ex has no right to your child. Without paying child support and abandoning his child, he no longer has the right to even see your child. Contact a lawyer to find out more of your rights in this situation. You could go back to court to force him to pay the back child support.
In the meantime, you need to contact your child's school to make sure they know about the situation. Let your friends and family know about. Everyone needs to circle another and protect your child.
If he can show up after years of absence and demands “his” child, I hate to say it, but there is no telling what he might do. He is a stranger to your daughter. Don’t trust him!
2006-08-18 15:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by MARK M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do need a lawyer but let me help put your mind at ease---
First you can apply for legal aid , second keep records of every visit date, time, location. The fact that he did not have parental rights (sounds as if it was his choice) helps you. The fact that he is not stable helps you, if your ex husband who adopted her maintains visitation and or joint custody that helps as well.
CONTACT a lawyer and play by the rules of the game and play it better than him and you'll come out okay.
If things get scary look into a child advocate--- this is a person who's soul interest is the best interest of the child not the parents.
2006-08-12 17:56:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The judge will look at what is in the best interest of the child. I don't think he will win full custody from you. What might be done is they may grant him visitation rights, but I don't think so.
I am skeptical that he will get anywhere with things. Why did he wait so long before contesting the adoption? That will be the question asked. I mean, waiting 4 years before even contesting things is wierd.
And if he had any concern and love for his biological daughter, he wouldn't upset her and her living arrangement. She more than likely sees your husband as her father, and she doesn't really know this other person. He suddenly decides to care about her? What is his motive? That is what I would be looking at. What will he get for getting her? What is in it for him?
It all sounds fishy to me, but I don't think I would worry. Like I said; they look at what is in the best interest of the child. Obviously, the best interest is for her to remain where she is living like she is living.
2006-08-12 17:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sadly the courts are not fair, at all, I found that out very recently. But thankfully they favor a vagina most of the time. With what you have just put down here I wouldn't see why he would win custody, but hire a lawyer if you think he's serious, and have your lawyer look over the adoption agreement again, tell them to study it and try and find a loophole then if you find one you will be better prepared to argue it, good luck to you and God bless, I'll be praying for you I hope to God he doesn't get custody back.
2006-08-12 17:50:06 · answer #4 · answered by Kay Eliz 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dont worry.
He will have to prove to the court he has a good relationship with your daughter first.
Sounds like he has a lot of groundwork to do before then and then he has to prove you are an unfit mother.
The courts always tend to side with the mothers as regards custody.
If, in time he realises a loving, stable relationship with your daughter and has her interest at heart it is actually unlikely he will want to upset her by taking her away from her secure environment.
To show he is fit he must put her needs first.
2006-08-12 17:54:33 · answer #5 · answered by ii337 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This very serious and everybody here is right- seek legal counsel!
Until you are able to do that, however, take a look at your life, your behavior and anything else they might be able to throw out in hopes of making you look like an unfit mother and fix them pronto! I.E. Clean house, nutritional food, decent clothing on her,
not going out without her very frequently, etc. I am sure you are a good mother but they will stop at NOTHING in court to make you look like a crack whore who can't take care of a gerbil, so be self-critical and get legal council at the same time. Best of luck to
you and your daughter. PS Make sure you have changed the locks since he left!
2006-08-12 17:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by JB 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he cant get custody of her. he had to sign away his parental rights in order for her to be legally adopted... and even if he didnt, he hasnt paid support for her or had a relationship with her, so he would have to prove that your unfit and that he would be better for her... being that he isnt in her life, she's been adopted, and he's never paid for her support and care he doesnt stand a chance in hell...
my question would be why would he want to step in 7 years late and try to play daddy?
and tell him he gets to pay all court costs... in the meantime, unless he gives you a court order to see her dont let him anywhere near her...
2006-08-12 17:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by Resasour 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
None of this can, or should, be answered in such a forum. You need to see a lawyer who specializes in family law. I realize that that's not a cheap option, but since the future of your daighter is at stake (and you appear to love her very much), she deserves nothing less than first-rate legal representation.
You may be able to get an initial consultation from a good lawyer for a modest fee, and I urge you to see one as soon as possible.
2006-08-12 17:48:23 · answer #8 · answered by The Sage on the Hudson 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
you really want to have an section to bypass to love a motel or condo, in case you could't have the funds for this stay with a chum then in case you bypass to a motel you should get a job to pay for it and pay for nutrition and each thing else. So in reality stay with a chum and also you dont ought to get a job in case you favor to stay to inform the tale your man or woman you should artwork at a food market that way you could thieve nutrition in the previous you bypass abode reliable success contained in the harsh international
2016-11-24 22:33:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your daughter. So unless there is more to him wanting to take her from you,( Like, you are "unfit" in some way) you will most likely retain custody.
2006-08-12 17:50:04 · answer #10 · answered by Nikki 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋