i am realizing that if i pay attention i can recognize when the person is saying or doing something just to upset me and get a reaction. when i realize what is happening i am able to control my reactions and have the opposite reaction. (i dont get angry, i act like it doesnt bother me at all, and the person seems surprised)
but sometimes i dont realize until after i react badly that the person was "trying" to get a reaction.
2006-08-12 17:31:46 · 20 answers · asked by bananapuddingwithcoolwhip 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I wasn't all that young when I learned something on my own, and I wish I'd have thought about it ten years sooner.
No one has any more power over you than what you give them.
Take the fun away from them. If it's outright harrassment, get hold of your supervisor, or a union steward first, if you have one. If it's something you can deal with on your own, ignore them and talk to everyone else but them. Don't tell anyone anything if it might get back to that person. Remove every source of fuel and eventually the fire will burn out or move elsewhere. But don't ever give them the satisfaction of knowing that you gave them what they wanted. They're sick. Don't let them infect you, and don't carry the disease back home. You'll sleep better that way.
I hope it gets better for you. There is enough aggravation and stress in this world without someone doing it to you on purpose.
Peace and love.
2006-08-12 17:44:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there! Drama in the workplace really pushes my buttons and I know how hard it is not to react, but you're doing the right thing. In a similar situation I also found that I didn't always catch on immediately. In this instance the woman was cheating on her husband with another co-worker... so we had to deal with hubby storming into the office off and on for weeks before she finally moved out as well as her constant play-by-play and the "other man" who would both show up to deal with business matters and just to see her. I finally started cutting her off the moment she opened her mouth and it became apparent that it wasn't job related. I'd say "I'm sorry. I'm really swamped right now, but I'm sure you'll figure out all of this eventually." Her desk was less than ten feet from mine and she knew precisely what my current work-load was at any given moment . I only had to do this a few times before she took the hint. The day she filed for divorce her husband burst into the office and I didn't even glance up for more than a split second. I went right back to my worked and crossed my fingers hoping he wasn't armed or anything! *L*
Good luck!
2006-08-13 11:15:32 · answer #2 · answered by nimbleminx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone usually says something stupid just to try to annoy, i usually laugh or pretend it doesn't bother me. Because most people keep annoying you because they enjoy seeing you get worked up and angry. but if you don't react at all or react as if its no big deal, they eventually leave you alone, and they feel really stupid. i love it when people try to get into an argument with you and you don't yell or anything and you appear to be fine, but they're sitting their screaming and getting red in the face.
2006-08-13 00:52:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If possible have little to no contact with that person. If that doesn't work ask to be put on a floor where that said person does not work. Or if you have reason to believe you are being harassed, file a complaint but ask for anonymity.
2006-08-13 00:58:52 · answer #4 · answered by Desert Queen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are doing the right thing and keep up the good work...just make sure you make him or her look like a fool...but you can just write everything in a book for your documentation..because that will be a plus for you..the date the time and the incident...good luck and make sure you let your supervisor know of what s going and what is going to happen if it doesnt stop..heehehee..just kidding be proffessional always!!!
2006-08-13 00:38:59 · answer #5 · answered by ck1_content 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you either need to be super sugary sweet to the person or completely ignore them. either way, they eventually begin to feel that you are up to something and they will leave you alone. also, if you have any sort of relationship with the supervisor, go talk to them (not necessarily about that person). then, when you see that person coming, abruptly end the conversation and walk away.
2006-08-13 00:44:23 · answer #6 · answered by irish_3078 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally talk to myself and remind myself that the person aggravating me is childish and I should just keep my cool. Try to remember the best way to get back at them is to kill them with kindness...works every time. Then they get a candid look at the horrible person they really are compared to yourself.
2006-08-13 00:36:01 · answer #7 · answered by Sparkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just smile every time you hear that person start to talk. It will remind you not to just get angry, it will help diffuse any anger that does pop up and it will confuse the hell out of that person.
If the behavior is not reinforced, it will slowly die out.
2006-08-13 00:55:28 · answer #8 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Yeap, had the same problem... I simply pretended I wasn't noticing because I had other serious issues to think about...
Now, that got the other one curious... and she wanted to KNOW more about it...(possibly to use it...)... So the person
became friendly automatically... simply because I pretended that
whatever she was doing had in fact very little importance in compare to my serious issues.... And it worked... She became totally friendly in less then 2 weeks...
Good Luck!
2006-08-13 00:48:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always be on guard with that person. Send flowers or do something nice... thank them for the kindness they have show you on days that have been somewhat difficult and burn their fuse out.:-)
2006-08-13 00:41:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋