my husband was never home, always out with his friends getting drunk and with the one he was cheating with. now hes in jail, might go to prison over domestic violence, and whines because he hasnt seen me or the kids in three weeks and his sentencing is next week. i felt guilty for a while about putting hin in jail, but now i realized im better off without him. and didnt go back to visit him.i feel that hes never gonna change and that its going to happen all over again. plus he will never be faithful. he thinks im with someone else and thats why im like this with him. but im not, im just getting over him. and i dont need him in my life. i felt at one time that he was going to be the one to end my life, and this time he almost did. how can i tell him , look im done with you leave me alone, and for his family to let me be. i stood by him because i was afraid of his family talking **** saying i was a s.l.u.t they never liked me, they always said i be acting like if im too good
2006-08-12 17:02:30 · 11 answers · asked by super girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Girl, it is just the jail house religion going through his head. He dont care anymore now than he did before. Get a DIVORCE and move on with your life and use this little episode of his to get a restraining order maybe you will be safe then GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-12 17:15:15 · answer #1 · answered by cowboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations for being so courageous! Be proud in knowing you have done something many women in your situation couldn't or wouldn't do. Maybe what you need now is some kind of closure once and for all. I don't think it's a good idea to visit him in person though (my opinion). This will only give him back some of that control he used against you. If you truly feel it's necessary to let him know you're done for good, why not write him a letter instead? As far as his family is concerned, well...they're no longer your family. Their opinion of you shouldn't matter at all, then or now. Just be assured that from here on end, life will be good...so go ahead and start living it. You deserve it.
2006-08-12 17:22:49 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... Congratulations for standing up to him. If your life was at stake, and children were involved, you are making the right decision to place distance between the two of you. My only advice would be to not communicate with him any longer. Don't answer the phone, don't return calls, don't go visit him. Give him a chance to think about what he has done, the choices he has made. If possible, change your phone number or better yet, move to another location and do not share your address with anyone but your trusted family. I am assuming you have legal counsel since you have filled charges against him, so I would speak to your attorney regarding a restraining order or even seperation/divorce if your are wanting to "move on". Bottom line, cut ties comepletely, or at least until he gets help. It's proven that men who abuse do not stop abusing until they get help. Don't give a second thought of what his family will think of you. It doesn't matter! Your main focus should be the safety and wellbeing of your children and yourself. Pray for strength and courage! God will deliver!
2006-08-12 17:18:41 · answer #3 · answered by Choochie Larue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truth be told, he doesn't want you, he wants out of jail and is doing everything he possible can to get out....even pulling at your heartstrings. Stay on that high road sweetie, you are doing the right thing for you and your children. It took you a long time to build up enough strength to even do this, don't let him back in to tear it all to shreds. He's getting what he deserves. I know it may be hard for you when he makes his pleas, but just keep in mind his history of the last 15 years. You know this is his pattern, don't waiver on it like you are doing now. I would also suggest moving...either in with family or far away depending on his outcome for sentencing. We've all seen stories like this go terribly bad, and as a mother myself, for your children's sake, you do everything you have to do to put that distance between you and him. They need you...he doesn't.
2006-08-12 17:14:49 · answer #4 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know that man better than anyone! I want to tell you that I was on a similar situation and a lot of men have the same mentality! You did what was best for you and your family! and if his family thinks that that wrong then they can F**K off! your better off what would you rather have him locked up or your kids growing up without a mother?
Give that some thought!
2006-08-12 17:25:01 · answer #5 · answered by Bunnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He had his cake and ate it too before. Why would he want to settle for less. So he can still do what he wants, get drunk and cheat but he wants the comfort of a loving wife too. If you go back it will be the same ole s@^$ as before. What I can't understand is why you would spend one more second of your life thinking about this loser! You shouldn't be asking about him in this forum, you should wipe him from your brain. What a waste of time.
2006-08-12 17:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOORAY for u!! u definitely chose the right option because it sounds like u've been though hell! you need to say it outright to ur ex-husband what you've been through and that ur not interested!! say it strong so that he knows u mean it!! dont care about his family's feelings that much!! they should love u enough to let u go and be free from the violence!
2006-08-12 17:07:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everyone else. You're better off without and his family. End the marriage and move on. You deserve better.
2006-08-14 05:12:12 · answer #8 · answered by dwnaz1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's unquestionably wide-spread, and actually top. human beings shouldn't provide up something of their social help community and existence in simple terms by using fact they have a companion. it rather is not healthful to try this.
2016-10-02 00:29:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have to do whats best 4u and those kids becouse those kids come first and about his family if they got so much time to talk about u they dont have a live of there on
2006-08-12 17:18:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋