I am 4 months pregnant with our second child and i think its over. He makes me so mad and half the time i cant stand to be in the same house as him. i dont know what to do i feel we have just grown apart and we keep getting more distant. I am away from my family and friends be cause he is in the military so i have no one to turn to. He is a good father but i really dont like being around him latley any sugestions?
2006-08-12 16:42:27 · 15 answers · asked by Jamie S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to try, at least once, for the sake of your children to work it out. Find a marriage counselor, make an appointment, and go. Work on it until you have fixed it, or you can end it with a good conscience. Start today, please.
2006-08-12 16:46:22 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, have you got drama, and you sure don't need it now. What you two need is communication with each other, away from your child, and when you're not feeling stressed, and when he's not busy. You need some alone time to talk to each other for you to tell him how you've been feeling lately.
Since you're away from what is familiar to you, you have to make friends with the other wives and family who are also in the military and can commiserate with you. You've got to make an effort to be friendly and outgoing with those who you have something in common with, this being the military, and you're alone a lot of the time.
As for you being mad at your husband, find out why, or what, it is that he's doing that's pissing you off so much. I wouldn't attack him as soon as he walked in the door with this, but I would sit him down and talk to him. Be calm yourself when you talk to him. Write down what you want to get off your chest and then you'll have a clear idea where you want to start.
Since you're pregnant, you've got to take care of yourself as well. All of this drama isn't good for you or your baby, or your other child as well. Take deep breaths, calm yourself and learn that you can't control other people, just yourself.
Good luck!
2006-08-12 23:54:12 · answer #2 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some family counseling through the military. They understand the stresses you are going through that a standard psychologist won't. Your hormones are also playing into this honey and you have to realize that. Instead of the arguing, sit down and talk. He's trained to be disciplined and have things a certain way, so normal life rules aren't going to apply to you. The military is a completely different way of life. Military spouses have to be more assertive, reliable, accomodating, etc. It's a hard job you signed up for, but it doesn't have to be a miserable one. If you need to vent like all women do to our friends, make the phone calls, emails work, and if you are in a desperate situation, and living on base, remember that there are other wives in your same shoes....get to know them. I don't have all the answers, but I know what's worked for me and a few of my friends in the same boat.
2006-08-12 23:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think first you should talk to him about it, you have to let him know how you're feeling. He might not know that he's making you upset or that you're feeling distant.
If you suggest counseling and he'll go with you, it at least shows that he wants to work it out. He's not abusing you or neglecting the kids so I think you should try to make it work. Don't give up on it easily, try to remember what about him made you fall in love in the first place, and that you promised to be with him through good times and bad. Strong marriages just don't happen, you have to work on them.
2006-08-12 23:53:38 · answer #4 · answered by paperflowers24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, dear rule out the fact that its your hormones...if its not then you must realize that you can's stay with someone merely for the sake of the children. Children can sense things believe it or not and they will mock what they witness. If the relationship is not that bad off then please seek counseling, but if its a complete lost then don't just stay in the relationship because he's a good father...if he is trully a good father he will remain that way regardless of whether or not he's with you. Good Luck!
2006-08-12 23:50:23 · answer #5 · answered by sgame00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know most people are going to say think about the children. Just because he won't be your husband anymore doesn't mean he can't still be a good father. If you think there is a chance it'll work, try it. If you can't stand him don't waste any more of your life on someone who doesn't make you happy. You deserve to be happy.
2006-08-13 00:25:45 · answer #6 · answered by gnomef0cker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it more time. Think about the children, and really try to make the relationship work. If things really don't work out, be thankful that he is a good father and will care for your children the same way that you do
2006-08-12 23:46:04 · answer #7 · answered by smuggie71 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, I am speaking from experience here. If you stay for the kids when you are not happy yourself you will never get out. If he is a good father he will help you with the kids. Do what makes you happy.
2006-08-12 23:49:28 · answer #8 · answered by Lara C. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because u are pregnant ,the thinking is diffirent,maybe u will change your mind,by the way u can introduce your husband to me i like a man who can act a good father.
2006-08-12 23:55:05 · answer #9 · answered by annesweetyfl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that yoou should focus more on you and less on him. Try to find a place and a nice job to support you and the baby. Try to go back tto family for help since your family will be there for you
2006-08-13 00:04:24 · answer #10 · answered by Fantasy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋