Last night I told my husband that I was really overwhelmed with a lot of uncertainties and strain in my life. I was able to talk to him about some of the stuff on my mind, but there are some things I need to clear up in my head before I talk to him. He is too close to me and would want to "solve" the problems when I'm not even sure what they are. We agreed that maybe I should talk to a therapist a few times to help me work through some things.
Later, we got in a heated discussion about politics that went way too far and it ended with him, very snidely, saying "Yeah, you really do need to see a shrink!"
It really hurt my feelings that he took something that I confided in him about and threw it back in my face when he was angry in such a cruel way.
Today I have been avoiding him because I'm so angry. How could he have been so mean and thoughtless about such a sensitive issue for me? How can I approach him about it without causing even more tension?
2006-08-12 16:27:36 · 14 answers · asked by soblue2day 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some things should never be brought up. he is probably sorry. Just go to him and talk it out!!
2006-08-12 16:32:05 · answer #1 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear about all that. The tension is there, as you know, whether you like it or not. You did a very good job of describing how things went to the point where I wanted to slap him when he said the 'shrink' remark, so I don't think this is something you should keep quiet about. Bring it up to him. Calmly at first. If he doesn't get the idea real quick that you were very hurt by it and would like for him to apologize then you may need to pretty much explain the whole situation to him. He may realize how $hitty it was to say and is afraid to say sorry for the exact same reason that you don't want to ask for an apology, he may not want to bring it back up as it wasn't exactly a good memory. Good luck to you both. I hope things start to get better for you and hopefully you two can find some middle ground next time you two get into it about politics.
2006-08-12 16:33:40 · answer #2 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people say things they don't really mean in the heat of the moment. Why don't you ask him if he thinks you need to see a shrink because you don't agree with his political views, or if there is something else he is concerned about.
2006-08-12 16:33:43 · answer #3 · answered by debbie w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest couples therapy. You get to sit together with a therapist and then have separate sessions. It really works. If he thinks seeing a "shrink" isn't acceptable to him, go yourself. At least you will be able to learn how to react to him. You have no control over what he can say to you, you only have control over how you react to it.
2006-08-12 16:36:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel I've been married 12 years and my husband and I have communication problems too it gets lonely you feel alone because men just don't understand us and to tell you the truth they are selfish babies and they don't care to understand,he needs to admit that he needs the shrink.
2006-08-12 16:33:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he knew it or not, he was wrong for that. us men sometimes say things without thinking about the sensitivity of the matter. we tend to try not to be caring cuz it makes u look soft but if that's your husband, he should be more understsnding of what you going through, even if he didnt understand while ya'll was arguing
2006-08-12 16:36:09 · answer #6 · answered by luckymc100 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he's a man!!! They don't think before they speak. they do say things intentionally to hurt, and in this case, to shut you up so he could 'win' the argument...worked didn't it?! it has been proven scientifically that men cannot use both sides of their brain at the same time, as women can.
2006-08-12 16:32:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, congratulations on agreeing to seek counciling. They can do wonders.
Secondly, sit down calmly and tell him that you would like to talk to him about something with no arguements. Then say something like "I love you and I want to work things out. You may not have meant to but you really hurt my feelings when you said________________"
2006-08-12 16:34:42 · answer #8 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably got the best of him in your argument and he didn't know how else to hurt you. We give men too much credit, they're not as smart as we make them out to be, so don't worry, he probably didn't even understand what he was saying:)
2006-08-12 16:39:12 · answer #9 · answered by jan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything if the dudes is a man he will apologize to u
2006-08-12 16:38:52 · answer #10 · answered by Hea Dude ! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋