Why do I stay when I know he's cheating?

Question

I have all kind of proof, and have talk to some of the females that he's cheating with. Then he always come up with the excuse that their just friends and different dumb *** answers.. It's been so many females now that it's like I expect him to cheat. I want to move on but I'm scared for myself as well as the kids. IHe's really a good husband and provider but the cheating is starting to wear me down. It's also making me want to step outside of the marriage. So can anyone tell me why I stay with a cheater who think I have any common sense?

Answer 1

You stay for a million reasons and they're all the wrong ones! Trust me I know. I did the exact same thing you did. I was married for 16 years and finally left him 2 years ago. It was scary as h*** but it was the best decision I've ever made. You stay because you're scared about money and the kids and doing everything on your own. You stay because you feel like the pain from not being with him and seeing him with someone else is just too much. You stay because you say it's better for the kids if you're together. Trust me your kids know more about what's going on than ya think and it's not healthy for them or you. You stay because you think of your husband as the man you first met and not the man he's become. You deserve so much better. Don't waste anymore years of your life with someone who treats you like that. His excuses are your excuses, it's easier to believe what you know are lies rather than end your marriage and finally have a life you deserve. He's not gonna change sweetie no matter what he says. Divorce is painful and scary I'm not gonna lie about that but you have to go through the bad to get to the good life that should be yours.

Answer 2

Ok, this may seem odd, but you did mention that you were thinkingof steppingoutside the marriage. So, I have cheated on my wife before, and it is not because I dont love her, I reall do. But I also love women, in general. Recently however, we have discovered something that has brought us closer than we have ever been, we have excellent communication, and a great sex life, (the best I have ever imagined). It is called "swinging". It is a very large community in america, dont just smug and shake it off. Do a little research. Thats what we did, and it has really helped us alot. Of course it requires very open communication, so you are always talking, which in turn takes away any need for a lie. ANd then, you are living the happy married life, but you also have special benefits. If this is something that would interest you, or you would like to learn more, then just email me back and I will tell you all I know. It truly is an amazing thing. Checkout the link below, you will be shocked by just how large this "lifestyle" is. Hope I was able to help

Answer 3

You should leave him. He keeps cheating on you because he knows that you will still stay with him. You give the guy one chance and he does it again, it's not worth it. You have two choices. One you leave him and show him that your not some toy to be played with or two you stay with him knowing he will always be with another women. Don't take crap from a guy like him. Leave! You can find some other guy that will love you all the way. If he really dose love you than why is he cheating? He is just making you suffer and if he did love you he wouldn't want to see you suffer but he doesn't care if you do suffer. That's not love. What kind of person wants to see someone they love so much suffer? Just think about that!

Answer 4

Because you are scared of being alone, and have no self respect. If he is a good provider, then he can still provide after divorce, that is why there is childsupport and alimony!!! Your staying is just a way of telling him that it is ok. Aren't you worth more than that?? I think so, and i don't even know you. You are a woman, and you need to step up to that role, instead of playing the role of the little girl who needs a protector and a provider. Take his cheating *** to court for all he's got and teach him a lesson!!! Good luck!!

Answer 5

You are probably basing your stay on the fact that he may be a good father and a good provider but if he is cheating that is not healthy for both you and your children for the same way it is straining on you, it will eventually strain on the children as well. Save you and your children from all the drama that he is causing... It will be very hard, but eventually you will need to give into the fact that once a cheater always a cheater... Plus you may not know what other women he is sleeping with and he may bring a disease to you. Be very careful and Good luck.

Answer 6

You are staying out of fear of the unknown.

What will you do when you leave? Where will you go? Can I support me and my child if he doesn't help?

Don't let these fears stop you from leaving. Find out the answers to those questions and move on. Your husband is being not only deceitful with you but is playing with your life.
Sooner or later he will bring home something you don't want.
I find it hard to believe you still have sex but if you do he could give you something. That aside, he is not being fair with you.

Have you ever brought up some of the comments the women say that you have talked to. If he knew you talked to them and what they have said how could he then lie again?

Don't put up with it. If he had only one affair and then was remorseful about it it is one thing but to have many and lie to you it is clear he has very little respect for you.

Get out as soon as you can. You sure have plenty of reason.

Answer 7

You said so yourself...you're scared to leave. What you need to do is analyze the reason why you're so scared. When you find the answer to that, only then can you do anything about that fear to enable you to help yourself. The worst thing you can do is to do nothing. We are what we repeatedly do or don't do. Right now your husband has total control of you, your feelings and your disposition. It is not his fault for having that control. It is yours. You gave it to him fully by choosing to stay in a bad marriage. By your actions alone, you're sending the message that it's okay for him to keep hurting and disrespecting you. You can't change him (you know this). You can only change yourself. Start today.

Answer 8

You should be more scared that your kids are seeing this man do whatever he wants to you. How do you know that your kids might feel that this is the way things are supposed to be. Start thinking about how they feel and what they are seeing you as their mother go through.. You also never know with females these days what if one of them try to hurt you or your kids. Get out of this marriage now. He does not love you. Hell he doesn't even respect you.

Answer 9

You PROBABLY have a horrible outlook on yourself and a low self esteem. If you care about the kids, you'd leave. If you stay, it's like teaching your son that it's okay to cheat, or your daughter that that's the kind of man she should marry. Nine times out of ten, the threat of you leaving may stop his a$$ from cheating! Personally I could not stay because that trust is lost and you need that, trust and respect and he has neither.

Answer 10

The feelings that you have are justifiable in wanting to leave ,however,I believe a marriage is a gift and should not be toyed with as he is doing,It is also unfair to the children,Sometimes they stray if they weren't givin a dating life when they were 16 or so,or if they did,ask yourself this question"do I really please him sexually?"Try to find out what really excites him.When you make love to him is it really making love or is it SEX!Big difference.I've been with my man for 20 years and we've strayed offr in the begining and was honest with each other before we even did anything with other people.I told him when we got back together that he was to tell me openly if he wasen't satisfied then we could fix it by exploring with each other,find out his fantasies and take him there while you make love,talk him through it.Making sure it is your face he visualizes during this fantasy trip,because it is still cheating if you are thinking of another person while making love to your huband.You can explore by watching xxx movies and perform and switch positions and moan as they do.If you want more ideas you can e-mail me.