What do you do if your grandma calls the father of your baby a dirtball?

Question

My grandma is very evil and calls my bf a dirtball and says we need to go to parenting classes, were both excellent parents, but why is she doing this?? I love my grandma but don't want to hurt her feelings, my boyfriend doesn't want her to see our kid, what to do?

Answer 1

granny's always right

Answer 2

I have to say when I first read your question I Busted Out Laughing...LOL!! This is a hard decision. Your grandma loves you and she doesn't see why she has to like your b/f. In her head she can get along and love you and your son, but hate him. She sees nothing wrong with it and maybe doesn't realize how this is hurting you (that's her way of protecting you). So the only thing I can tell you is just go over there without him...that's what I would do. I would never let anyone come b/w me and my family not even my husband. They don't have to get along, just respect each other when present and sometimes staying away 4 a while is the best idea. Don't force him on her or vice verse, pray about it and one day you won't even know when they started getting along. Wish You The Best!!

Answer 3

The best thing you can do is just ignore Grandma. I am sure everyone else does. I have a Grandmother that is the same way. The best thing to do is not argue or give attention (as this is what she wants) just smile and nod and say something like "well I am glad I have your support on this." not in an argumentative or sarcastic way but in a sincere matter of fact manner. Then walk away or change the subject or ignore her. Honestly she wants attention and if you stop giving it to her she will give up eventually. You have to be the bigger person here. Sorry - I know it is hard.

Answer 4

I don't mean to sound harsh here but i think you need to consider your feelings and your b/f's feelings well before considering your grandmother's .. you are a mother to a child now! your child will look up to you for emotional support and strength now how will you be able to provide that if you are constantly being stomped on by your grandmother by worrying about how she feels? i know this sounds incredibly mean but think about that for a little bit :)

On the other hand, If i may ask a very personal question. Is your grandfather still alive? you see, The reason i am asking this is because maybe your grandmother is reminded of the better times when she and your grandpa were young and had kids .. were happy and proud .. and this causes sadness because she too wishes she had that kind of life all over again .. so what does she do? she adds layers upon layers of anger over and over again .. eventually she is so deep in her anger and misery that she can't surface again...what's the remedy? your little angel! let your grandma see your kid more often but make sure your b/f is there as well..the reason for this is eventually she will accept him and understand that she can't dwell in the past and that it is time to move forward..believe me this applies to both if your grandpa is still around or in heaven :)

Hoping this helped :)

Answer 5

I have to tell you in all fairness to your Grandmother. The old folks see things to which your blind love cannot. Its called Wisdom and and wisdom has its purpose. The older folks can see someones bad traits that someone in love will not or wont ever see in real life until way later down the road when you have broken up. I would tend to think she See's something that you just are not able to see at this moment. Ive been divorced a time or two and was blind to the undesirable qualities of my chosen partners also and one day you may also.

Answer 6

She probably thinks you guys are too young to take care of a kid or she dosnt see that both of you are excellent parents. Next time when you're around grandma, you and your boyfriend should flaunt your great parenting skills in front of her and let her see what great parents you really are.

Answer 7

be upfront with her. tell her that if she continues to call him a "dirtball" you won't be seeing her anymore and she won't be able to see her great grandchildren. then follow through. it shouldn't take her long to realize that you mean what you say and if she wants to see you and your children she'll stop the crap. just because she's your grandma that doesn't give her the right to hurt you.
good luck.

Answer 8

i learned this the hard way because my family doesn't like my son's family. I was always running to them everytime something went wrong and telling them my business. i'm not saying that's what you did but look back-was there a time when you went to her with your problems? Maybe she's forming her opinion on the past. i had to distance myself from my family and keep my problems to myself because it's easy for someone to tell u what to do if they're on the outside looking in but this is your life, you have to live it. My advice is for you and your man to stick together and refrain from talking negatively when you're around your grandma. Fill her with positive vibes. She may come around.

Answer 9

Because she actually loves you and is angry for you. That does not excuse it maybe just explain it. Her generation is different. In her day you got married before having kids, etc. Tell her how much it hurts and have a real sit down talk and talk about your boundries, your expectations and how much her attitude is hurting your relationship with her...be honest, don't tip toe around the issues. Tell you how much you love her. She is not evil just hurting like you and for you.

Answer 10

Personally, I would open my eyes and take a good look at the father of my kid.

Answer 11

Tell her that you love her and respect her opinion but in this case she is wrong and that you would rather she keep her opinions to herself when it comes to you and your boyfriend....