Due to physical and mental decline, an appt. had just been set to get tested for dementia and then fell, broke her hip and is now in assisted living with diagnosed dementia and in a wheelchair, can't get up or walk on her own at all. The nurses say try hard to walk, etc. to go home. They say that to make her work to get strong but know she is unable. Our sister wants to tell her she will never go home...we feel the urge to protect her and know she forgets anyway...what should we do?
2006-08-12 15:49:28 · 12 answers · asked by 1whowants2know 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
This is so helpful thank you all so much...one more detail...the doctors have determined her mind has failed so much that she is dangerous to herself live alone, forgetting safety rules of locking wheelchair, leaning over, etc. an will hurt herself more. Her only daughter (our mom)
died while she was in nursing home after short illness....she keeps forgetting that too and asks for her--she went to funeral via ambulance. My husband can't life due to physical limitations/disability. Other than the sister who is causing mental confusion.
We are the power of attorney....the assisted living facility told us today grandma is upset after sisters phone calls.
We are at our ropes end...
2006-08-13 08:47:24 · update #1
I faced this crisis with my father. He actually lost hope of going back home when my mother died. He still gets to go home; but he is always the one to say, time to go back.
2006-08-15 23:23:13 · answer #1 · answered by Calvin of China, PhD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, as the grandchild, I don't think it's your sisters place to tell her, where are your parents? and secondly if she where to get strong enough to get around after she heals (if she heals) she may very well be able to go home and have some kind of assistance at home such as community nursing come in to help out or maybe she would be able to move in with a family member. But telling her she will never go home is just plan cruel.
2006-08-12 23:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by 1mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sister sounds heartless. What would it accomplish to tell her she will never go home? The poor lady is declining and is most likely at the last year of her life. Make this the best of times for her, telling her something that is upsetting will only make her unhappy.
2006-08-12 22:55:23 · answer #3 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth when she can walk it is possible and let's try. Try to help her and tell her soon maybe. Then she will forget but it's ok you did not lie. Good Luck been there. :-)
Here is a good link for starters, knowlege is always good.
2006-08-13 00:14:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Silence is golden so to speak. Your sister is wrong. No need to tell her that she can't go home. I feel for anyone in that condition. Just visit as often as you can and always tell her that you love her.
2006-08-12 22:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by no nickname 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you tell her that? At least let her have hope. Just keep telling her "maybe next week". Give her something to look forward to.
2006-08-12 22:57:39 · answer #6 · answered by MrsMike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best policy! Telling her will have to better than always be anxious about returning home.
2006-08-12 22:54:34 · answer #7 · answered by ruthie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you tell her? She doesn't need to know that - if she remembers, would just make her unhappy, and she'd probably forget anyway.
2006-08-12 22:58:38 · answer #8 · answered by Judy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her. She will forget anyway. See how she reacts. If she reacts badly, tell her something else next time.
2006-08-13 01:32:32 · answer #9 · answered by Ejsenstejn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell her. Even though she might forget shortly thereafter it just seems pointlessly cruel.
2006-08-13 11:29:55 · answer #10 · answered by nimbleminx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋